Category Archives: Humor

May
06
2014

How To Rock Braces And Glasses!

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How to rock braces and glasses

 

Gorgeous, Kacey Simon is the most popular girl in middle School. However, an eye infection and a visit to the dentist leave her with  Harry Potter glasses, a mouth full of metal! After being dissed and dismissed by her popular friends, Kacey is forced to hang out with a boy who wears skinny jeans and jams in his own band. But as she adjusts to the “real world” not “ popular girl world” she’s surprised to find that Skinny Jeans is kind of her style and his band is actually pretty cool. Suddenly, hitting rock bottom feels oddly uplifting. Could rocking braces and glasses be the best thing ever to happen to her?

 

I love this book so much! It is funny and interesting and leaves you with so many,” Oh. Didn’t see that one coming” I would rate this book 5***** I would recommend this book to anyone who likes drama and school stories. Why not read it. Try it out. Trust me once  you start reading you will never want to stop.

 

May
02
2014

Dead End In Norvelt By Jack Gantos

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Dead End In Norvelt By Jack Gantos is a gothic-humor-historical-fiction-part -autobiography. If  you read the book then you will understand by what I mean by this.

 

Dead End In Norvelt is set in WWII in Norvelt. Norvelt is a place in Pennsylvania. It is called Norvelt because it was founded by eleaNOR rooseVELT and the last few letters became Norvelt.

 

The main characters are Jack, Bunny, Mrs. Gantos/Mom, Mr. Gantos/Dad, and Ms. Volken. Jack is funny and mischievous. Jack always can cheer-up and put-down anyone he wants to. Bunny, is Jack’s best friend. She doesn’t like that Jack got grounded and that she doesn’t get to play baseball with him. Mrs. Gantos is Jack’s mom. She is strict and loving, but not both at once. His dad, Mr. Gantos, has an old airplane that he rides a lot. Jack’s mom will not let Jack ride in it, even though he really wants to. His dad is always doing something with Jack behind his spouses back.

 

Ms. Volken is the hand-frying obitist. An obitist is a person who writes obituaries. Since she literally fried her hands. Now her fingers do not look and work the same way they used to. So Jack’s mom forces him to be Ms. Volken’s scribe. She is sometimes dead on serious and sometimes extremely hilarious. But sometimes people get mixed up between the two.

 

The plot is about Jack’s worst summer of his whole entire life. He got grounded by a dangerous stunt and his dad is forcing him to make a bomb shelter to protect from the russians. Even though they were in the middle of Pennsylvania and so on.

 

I enjoyed this book fairly well. It is not bad but it is not good. I say this because I wish that there was more action but the humor made up for it. I would recommend this book to

funny people. There is never a chapter in this book where there is not some stupid pun or a strange joke. I would rate this book 3 out of 5 stars.imgres

May
01
2014

Spirits in the Park, By Scott Mebus

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warning this is a second book in the series

 

Rory has known about Mannahatta, the Native American world, for a very long time. Rory is a really good basketball player, he is strong, filled with passion and loves everything. “The boy can’t relax.” Says Rory’s sister. Rory is known as the light because he can see the spirits. The spirits world is mixed with the normal world and the gods who ruled New York City in its early days.

 

Only a month ago is when the earthquake struck. The earthquake affected him and his family. And then Sergeant Kiffer takes Rory to his place which is a not very good bar. This is no ordinary earthquake, though. Is it New York City attempting at breaking the Trap around Central Park that holds the in the Munsee Indians? Or is it something else?

 

The Trap must open or the balance between Mannahatta and Manhattan will be destroyed! And only Rory can open it. But will Rory take help from his newfound friends, including the band of children of the gods? A.K.A the Rattle Watch?

 

The book includes encounters with some of New York most famous figures, including Washington Irving, Captain Kidd and Bill the Butcher who will help Rory figure out how to do that. And the answer may just surprise him. . . .

 

I give this a book a 3 out of 5 stars because I was not on the tip of my toes the whole time. I like books that have a dangerous corner every page of the book. I read the first and that was much different. Things happened after one thing was resolved. This book isn’t half as good as the first.

Apr
30
2014

Alex Rider Skeleton Key by Anthony Horowitz.

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Alex Rider: Skeleton Key by Anthony Horowitz is about a kid named Alex Rider. Alex is an excited ambitious and stubborn child for example he does not want to go on a mission he will keep a very good argument not to go. When Carver and Troy CIA operatives pretending to be his parents so they can get on to Skeleton Key. Tell him to stay at the hotel he left to check out the island. (Skeleton Key)

 

The plot is about a man called General Alexei Sarov who has a nuclear bomb and is trying to blow up his home country, Russia. A main part is when alex turns off the bomb. Another Main part is when alex is asked by Alan Blunt tells him that he has to help the CIA and go two Skeleton Key. “You won’t get away with this” Said alex like in anything with a bad guy.

 

I did enjoy this book because it is exciting, scary, and boring at some parts …………………………………… it’s worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would give this book about 500 out of 5 stars   *****l*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 9780439662178

Apr
30
2014

The Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, by Judy Blume

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If you’re in fourth grade, most of you are, I would recommend this Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume to all of you. I personally didn’t want to read this book but my dad talked me into it and as soon as I read the first chapter I couldn’t stop. Another thing this book has in common is I think we all live in NYC just like Peter the main character in this book and his little brother Fudge. Unknown-1Peter is a BIG, BIG, BIG, BIG, BIG, BIG, BIG, people pleaser. An example of this would be when the dad of  Peter and Fudge has some guests staying at there house. Each bring both Peter and Fudge presents and though Peter despises his present he tries to please the guests by using his “amazing” acting skills. Peter is also as an impatient kid and a kid who takes things too literally.

The whole book is based around fact that Fudge has some spite to him and adults only get to see the angle side of him. For example Peter’s first pet passed away because Fudge swallowed him whole which lead to Peter getting a dog. In this story Fudge goes to the hospital for the reason listed above. That is a really important event in the story because right when Peter starts to get the slightest bit of attention Fudge has to pick the pet up and swallow it whole, that of course l leads to Fudge getting more attention not intentionally like always.

           I enjoyed this book because I can relate to two things with the main character, we are both in 4th grade, and we both have parents who always assume that the little sibling is an angel and  rarely gets in trouble. My favorite quote in the whole book would be when the mom said “ we have to trick Fudge if we want him to stop whining so this is the plan…” I like this quote because normally in this story everyone is always on Fudges side of things and this quote changes things up a bit. I would recommend this book to everyone because this book isn’t a book that is only interesting to the people who like that genre, but it is one of books like Wonder where it is a funny and interesting book for everyone. I would rate this book 4****and a half out of 5*****

 

 

Apr
08
2014

The Titan’s Curse by Rick Riordan

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WARNING!!!! DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW UNLESS YOU ARE NOT PLANNING TO READ THE OLYMPIANS SERIES OR ARE ON THE FIRST OR SECOND BOOK!!!!

imgresThe Titan’s Curse by Rick Riordan is in my favorite series of all time, The Olympians Series! The main characters are: Percy Jackson son of Poseidon, Grover Underwood the satyr, Annabeth Chase daughter of Athena, Thalia Grace daughter of Zeus, and Bianca and Nico di Angelo. The setting is Camp Half Blood. And everywhere they go on the quest.

Percy is in the car with Annabeth and Thalia, and of course his mom is telling embarrassing stories from when he was a baby. Anyway, Percy, Annabeth, and Thalia are on their way to a military school called Westover Hall because Grover told them that he found two half-bloods. (Half Greek God half human). When Percy finally finds the two di Angelo kids, they are gone and so are his friends.

My favorite part of the book is when Percy, Annabeth, Thalia, Grover, and Zöe are a the Hoover Dam and Percy, Annabeth, Thalia, and Grover are saying, “ I’m going to buy some Dam french fries. And I’m going to use the Dam bathroom! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” And Zöe talks in thou thee language and she doesn’t get it.

To find out what happens next, READ THE BOOK!!!! I  DARE YOU!!!!(I recommend reading the first and second book before this…)

I recommend this book to people who like to get sucked into books, magical realism, realistic fiction, action, and adventure. I rate this book (100 stars)  but I can only do  so that will do.

Apr
08
2014

The Year Of The Dog

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    This book is called The Year Of The Dog and the author’s name is Grace Lin, I have a lot of her books and I have picture books of hers too. The main characters are Pacy and her best friend, Melody. Pacy and Melody are very alike. They are both Chinese American, well that’s how they met. They think alike too, and look the same. The setting of this book takes place in New York State, outside of the city. Pacy and Melody have a science fair and the school has a special guest to judge their projects, who is a very important person too. Pacy and Melody don’t know what they are going to do and whatever they do it better be good because they’ll lose the contest. Pacy and Melody did a plant thing, they grew plants with soda like coke and they also used water. Pacy and Melody get really nervous at the competition. Pacy and Melody have crushes on some people in their class (this part is the only thing I hate about this book,) and Melody has a notebook to write down the people that their crush talks to. “Today Teddy talked to Emma three times, Charlotte five times, you four times, and me six,” Melody reported. By, Friday Melody had filled her notebook.
I liked this book a lot! I liked it because the main characters are Chinese American, like me. But I didn’t like it just because of the crush part. I would recommend this book to 6-10 and maybe for a family. I rate this book 4 out of five stars. I think that people would like this book!

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Apr
08
2014

Cabin Fever Diary of the Wimpy Kid By Jeff Kinney

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UnknownAs you know, if you read my book reviews, that I like the Wimpy Kid books. So I think that this is a great book to read if you want a bit of humor in your reading. The pictures in this book are great too. This book is all about the holidays. It is about a kid named Greg and he is bored when it comes to Christmas. He is always tempted to open the presents before Christmas when they are under the tree, but now they have a new toy that watches them, well, that’s what everyone in the house thinks because it is creepy. Greg also has weird thoughts like when he felt bad for Jesus because he probably got fewer presents. He lives in a small town.      Gregs whole family gets trapped in their house because there is a blizzard, well not the whole family. The dad was at work when the blizzard hit. So he got to stay at a lovely hotel with TVs, hot tubs and amazing foods while the rest of the family had to suffer with a flood, barely any food and no heat. I would rate this book four stars because I have liked some other books in the series a little bit more than this one. If you think some of the details are not there look at the other book reviews that I have posted.

Apr
07
2014

The 9 Lives Of Alexander Baddenfeild

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Unknown

This book is about a boy whose family died. That boy’s name is Alexander. They live in the Baddenfields castle located in New York City. The man that takes care of him is named Winterbottom. The only person left in his family is Alexander. But there is one thing about this family, every single person was and still is (with one member) BAD super super super super super super super super super super super BAD. There is no one that is friends with the Baddenfields other than Winterbottom.

     Alexander is 12 years old the last of his family. He wants to have 9 lives. He wants to get the 9 lives from his cat. Alexander does not want to die so soon. But he gets his lives and wants to spend them right away! Some things are dangerous and he doesn’t realize that he can use more than one life at the same time. Winterbottom was listening to the doctor and tries to worn Alexander but Alexander will not listen.

     I would give this book 5***** stars. People who enjoy adventure would love this book. I did not want to put this book down, I flipped through the pages very quickly.  It is very short so you can read it in a very short period of time.

 

The 9 Lives Of Alexander Baddenfeild

This book is about a boy whose family died. That boy’s name is Alexander. They live in the Baddenfields castle located in New York City. The man that takes care of him is named Winterbottom. The only person left in his family is Alexander. But there is one thing about this family, every single person was and still is (with one member) BAD super super super super super super super super super super super BAD. There is no one that is friends with the Baddenfields other than Winterbottom.

     Alexander is 12 years old the last of his family. He wants to have 9 lives. He wants to get the 9 lives from his cat. Alexander does not want to die so soon. But he gets his lives and wants to spend them right away! Some things are dangerous and he doesn’t realize that he can use more than one life at the same time. Winterbottom was listening to the doctor and tries to worn Alexander but Alexander will not listen.

     I would give this book 5***** stars. People who enjoy adventure would love this book. I did not want to put this book down, I flipped through the pages very quickly.  It is very short so you can read it in a very short period of time.

 

 

Apr
05
2014

Ratburger by David Walliams

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Ratburger, by David Walliams, is an amazing book that you have probably never heard of since I got the book in London. The main character is Zoe, a little girl with the meanest step mom ever. I know that she has the meanest step mom ever because she killed Zoe’s hamster. Zoe is a big animal lover. She had a pet hamster and she has a pet rat. She also is very easy to pick on and she is a very good student. The setting of the book is in London.

 

Zoe’s problem is that her pet rat has been taken by a fake rat catcher called Burt. Burt actually kills the rats and does something with them. Once her rat is taken it’s up to her to get the rat back. I know that since one day Zoe goes home and her mom says “Give your rat to this darling man.” He’s the meanest fake rat catcher you’ll ever hear of.

 

I really enjoyed this book since it’s really funny.The funniest part is when Tina, a bully, pours stuff on Zoe. I would recommend this book to people who like animals but don’t mind them being killed. I would give this book a ***** rating out of *****.