Category Archives: Humor

Apr
03
2014

Hazardous Tales By Nathon Hale

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Hazardous Tales by Nathan Hale which is funny because there was a spy named Nathan Hale in The Revolutionary War who is the main character in this book. It is about Nathan Hale ( the spy) who is about to be hanged on something called a gallows and the stories he tells to the hangman and a redcoat (English soldiers named after their red coats). It takes place in an English territory in 1779 during the American Revolution.

Nathan Hales one problem is that he has but one life to give for his country. ( A Nathan hale quote ” My only regret is that I have but one life to give for my country” ). This book is about the entire revolution two main parts are when Nathan becomes the spy and when he gets slammed in The Big Giant Book of American History. It is very interesting because pretty much everything is true.

I would recommend this book to someone who likes humor and wars because it is about a war.If you like to learn while you are reading you should read it. I give it five out of five stars. *****I because of all the positive things I said in this review.

 

Apr
02
2014

Diary of a Wimpy Kid Cabin Fever, By Jeff Kinney

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I really enjoyed Diary Of A Wimpy Kid, Cabin Fever, by Jeff Kinney. The main characters name is Greg Heffly. He lives in the present in a decent sized town with a lot of towns next to it. One thing that happens to Greg in the book is he sometimes accidentally/on purpose gets in trouble. But he talks his best friend Rowley Jefferson into it with him. A part in the book that explains that is when Greg and Rowley want to make a holiday bazaar and they put posters in front of the school when the principle already told them not to. They put up their posters and it starts to rain. Someone sees them but they do not know who. The next day the story is in the papers. After they call a bunch of people get called to the principal’s office Rowley confesses. Greg gets in trouble and is very unlucky.

 

While Greg stil thinks he is being looked for by the police “The search” for Greg gets delayed by a big snowstorm. Gregs dad is staying a resort while Greg is being touter by hunger and brothers. Then Greg’s little brother breaks his moms glasses and Greg has to look after Manny because the mom can not see. Two important events are when he finds out you can get frozen Drummies (his favorite chicken he gets at the Holiday Bazaar). That is an important part because without the frozen Drummies he never would have started his Holiday Bazaar which got him in trouble which is the big problem of the story. Another important part of the story is when Manny breaks mom’s glasses. That is important part because if Manny never broke mom’s glasses Greg would not need to take care of him for around a ¼ of the book. Greg is very sensitive self involved and loves privacy he loves to say “So I’ve started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don’t need Santa seeing me in my underwear.” The book takes place around christmas and he wants lots of privacy from santa.

 

I enjoyed this book because even if you read it four or five times there is always suspense like: Will Greg go to jail? Did Principle Roy find out he did it?  Will Greg get in trouble for what he did? So much suspense! I would rate the book 1000000 out of 5 stars. It has everything a good book need’s like comedy and it never gets boring With no typos! Much much more! It’s GREAT! I REALLY recommend the book!  Unknown

Mar
06
2014

Fantastic family whipple, by Matthew Ward

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The fantastic family Whipple is about a family that breaks records, in fact everybody in their family broke a record except for Arthur Whipple, the person who has not broken a record. Arthur’s dad is too hard on Arthur and thats why he wants to break a record, to get his dad off his chest.

I rate this book 3 stars because sometimes it just is really boring. ***

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Feb
27
2014

Alex Rider: Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz

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My book is called Alex Rider: Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz It is about this kid Alex who becomes a spy. He is very fast, sneaky, and well built up.He is a black belt in Karate, he has been on many hikes, bungy jumping, and mountain climbing.This book takes place in England.

Alex’s parents died before he really got a chance to meet them. He lived with his uncle Ian Rider who worked for a bank called the Royal and General. When Ian dies Alex learns that Ian was in fact not a banker but a spy. When Alex was called upon by MI6 (The Royal and General) his life is changed completely. And at age 14 Alex Rider is shipped off to boot camp. He hates boot camp the assault course he refers to as “The adventure playground from hell”. Alex works with a couple of people they are not very nice but he helps one of them and then they are nicer to him.

I loved Stormbreaker because it is very fast exciting and a spy book. I would recommend this to anyone who likes fast moving spy adventures. I give it fifty of five stars. *****I*********************************************200px-Stormbreakerbook

Feb
27
2014

The Nine Lives Of Alexander Baddenfield By John Bemelmans Marciano

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The Nine Lives of Alexander Baddenfield is an evil but awesome book by John Bemelmans Marciano. Alexander is the main character and lives in the Baddenfield castle in New York City. Alexander is an evil boy who thinks life is too short. He does all these horrible things such as find a mouse and put it in his python’s cage to be swallowed. His guardian/servant Winterbottom lets him do these things, but only because Alexander will probably tackle him if he says anything.

 

Alexander comes from an evil line of Baddenfields. It was Pieter Boddenfield who bought Manhattan for $24 in beads and such and cheated the Native Americans. But the earth always found a way to kill a Baddenfield, because of their meanness. So after Alexander’s parents and only relatives get killed in a hunting expedition for endangered species, Winterbottom swears to keep Alexander alive for as long as he can. He has Alexander on diets. He makes him look both ways before crossing the street. He even made Alexander use a stroller until he was eight. But Alexander wants to change that, once and for all. And he will, because this is what he says when he doesn’t get what he wants: “Alexander Baddenfield is unfamiliar with things not going his way. Alexander Baddenfield does not like the word ‘no.’ Alexander Baddenfield is going to start firing people.  And worse.” And he does change, but not in the way he thinks…read the book to find out!

 

I thought this book was okay, not the best, but not horrible. I love sinister and evil books, but this was a little too sinister. But one thing about this book I love. I love how the main character is evil, because evil people do ridiculous things, like listening through a tube if you’re deaf. I wouldn’t recommend this to below 3rd grade because the character does some pretty terrible things, and pretty terrible things happen to him. I would rate this book 3 ½ out of 5 stars because as I stated before, I thought the book was okay because I like sinister books, but it was a little too sinister.

 

 

Feb
27
2014

Spy School, by Stuart Gibbs

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Spy School is a book filled with action…

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It’s about a kid named Ben Ripley. He is in 5th grade. He is very smart (I mean… VERY smart) but has a very boring life. One of the only things that he does is that he watches spy movies and looks at the CIA website…

 

But a second later, in the middle of the school year; a CIA agent named Alexander Hale  breaks into his house and tells Ben things he knows about him. The Hales have generations of CIA agents and Former ones. Keep in mind that skill skips a generation. Before Ben knows it, he’s being told about spy school: a school for future spys.

 

But Ben’s parents would know if Ben was missing… and the school is top secret. So there’s the lie that convinces the parents. The lie is: it’s the academy of science (they don’t say anything else). His parents say yes, and there he goes… of the Spy School.

 

But why is this happening in the middle of the school year…

 

That’s all I have to say. This is just the beginning and There are so many spoilers that that’s all I can say.

 

I would rate this book 6 out of 5 stars (yes, 6.)

 

Enjoy!

 

Feb
26
2014

Eleven by Lauren Myracle

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imgres-13Eleven is a book by one of my very favorite authors, Lauren Myracle! She also wrote Ten and he Flower Powers Series.

 

Eleven is about a girl Winnie who lives in Wisconsin and turns eleven and is super excited for her party!  She planned it and everything. But when she gets home, her “friend” Louise completely takes over her entire party. Her best friend Amanda knows that she planned the party and worked really hard on it but follows Louise anyway. But there’s Diana Devine. Winnie doesn’t like her a lot but they are friends. Dianah is very nice to Winnie.

 

In the summer, Sandra (Winnie’s older sister) has a job at Baskin & Robbins with her boyfriend Bo. Winnie has an incident, and it isn’t so pretty…

 

A month later, Winnie visits Amanda at her beach house! There is a pond filled with jellyfish that can easily swim to the ocean.

 

To find out what happens through Winnie’s year of being Eleven are filled with, read the book!

 

My favorite part of the book is when Winnie and Diana go to the mall after school and see the kittens in the window. Diana blinks three times to a white kitten and says, “That’s how you say I love you to a cat.” I like that part because it’s so sweet and the way that they describe the kitten in the book, almost made me cry because it’s so cute!

I would recommend this book to people who like funny books because Winnie is very funny. Secondly, I would like to recommend this book to people who like friendship books because Winnie has a best friend Amanda who might dump her for someone else… also Winnie and Dianah become friends. Lastly, I would recommend this book to people who like realistic fiction because you can probably relate to this book a lot. The only thing that I don’t recommend is reading the rest of the series: Twelve, Thirteen, and Thirteen Plus One. Lauren Myracle is a great author though. I rate this book !!!!!

Feb
26
2014

Diary of a Wimpy Kid The Ugly Truth By Jeff Kinney

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imagesGreg is the main character. He has a older brother named Rodrick and a younger brother named Manny. Rodrick is very annoying and is mean to Greg, he will blame stuff on him and write stuff about him that is not real. Manny is also annoying and mean to Greg, but in a different way. Greg is very nice, but he plays video games a lot.

Greg used to be friends with Rowley, but they just detached from each other. He does not know what to do. He needs Rowley and Rowley needs him. He doesn’t know that yet. “It was pretty clear that he thought we were friends and that he thought we were a package deal. And I didn’t want to change his mind so I said we accept.” What that means is that he got invited to a legendary party and he didn’t want to miss it.

Greg also has some other problems with Rowley. He is super jealous of him. Rowley and Greg live in the same small town. So they see each other a lot. Rowley gets his first pimple before Greg does. Rowleys Mom says He’s becoming a man.

I thought this book was amazing. I have read the series, and you can read them in any order just the order they have put it in is the best. I connect with it in so many ways. I thought it was really funny too. What I mean by that is some times some embarrassing stuff happens to him. I like funny books, so if you like funny books this is the book for you. I would give this five stars.

 

Feb
15
2014

Out of My Mind, By Sharon M. Draper

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imgres-2Out of My Mind is a… so so book in my opinion.

It is about a 11 year old girl named Melody, who; can’t walk, talk, or have controlled movements (besides her thumbs.) Her doctors said she could never live anything near a normal life. Her parents said no but the doctors said yes. Her mom would get angry at them, but that didn’t change their mind one bit.

The only way she can communicate is by a board that has a bunch of words on it, made by misses V: her baby sitter. She knows Melody is smart, and Melody’s parents know too.

The school year is starting and it’s Melody’s first year of middle school. She is in the same classroom; the one for the kids with disabilities in the school. She learns the abc’s and 123’s again, and again, and again.

Her teachers say no, she’s not smart she’s retarded.  Melody thinks they think she is to dumb to hear them.

But now, Melody has a chance, a chance to have fun. Not watching the ‘normal’ kids play at recess. Her chance is a new type of class; one where she can be with the normal kids in the grade.

Sometimes Melody gets nervous and she drools and sometime has ‘tornados’ where she freaks out and makes weird sounds and kicks and  screams.

This is a knew beginning to her knew life.

And that’s where her adventure begins. It is kind of like East Side Story where it has a really bad ending. I would rate this 3 out of 5 stars.

Feb
04
2014

Genius Files; From Texas With Love By Dan Gutman

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(WARNING! DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT READ AND FINISHED MISSION UNSTOPPABLE, NEVER SAY GENIUS, AND YOU ONLY DIE TWICE.)

 

From Texas with Love is about two thirteen year old kids named Coke and Pepsi Macdonald. They are at the mercy of the insane Dr. Warsaw. He has some henchman: The “Bowler dudes”, two not so smart brothers in bowler hats, and Mrs. Higgins, their evil health teacher who is in love with Dr. Warsaw.

This book is part of a still growing series and is the 4th one.

When they see Dr. Warsaw in Hot Springs spa, he has a breakdown and can’t bring himself to kill them but shortly afterward someone, sends them a cipher and Coke and Pep,(Pepsi) realize that he isn’t done. Who could be sending them a Cipher now?

I liked this book because it was very action packed. In every chapter besides the very beginning, someone tries to kill them in a different way.

I would recommend this to people who like twists, problem solving, action, and memorizing lots and lots of absolutely useless information!

I would give this book 5 out of 5 stars!

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