Tag Archives: humor

Mar
09
2016

Demon Dentist, By David Walliams

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91BL+Jvc8yLAlfred(Alfie) hasn’t been to the dentist in six years! The book I read was called Demon Dentist. It was written by David Walliams. The book is about a kid named Alfie and his problems with dentists. He hasn’t been to the dentist in so long because when he was younger he went to the dentist complaining about a toothache, so the dentist took a look at it. The dentist tried and tried with all his might to pull the tooth out but failed. So he called some people in the waiting room to come in to pull with him, that didn’t work. Then he got the people that worked there to help him, that didn’t work. He got more and more people. It had been weeks maybe even months. FINALLY the tooth came out! Except, that was the wrong one. Poor old Alfie came home with a toothache. He hadn’t gone ever since. Imagine years of not going to the dentist. What would your teeth look like? THEY’ED BE YELLOW! OR BROWN! OR YOU WOULD LOSE ALL YOUR TEETH! Luckily Alfie didn’t lose all his teeth from this, but he did lose some. AND HE HAD brown and yellow teeth too. Yikes! He looked like a hamster that had lost two teeth. Think about that for awhile. If you don’t know what hamster’s teeth look like, then look it up!

 

Alfie is very poor. He has one friend named Gabriela(Gabz), who thinks he’s a wimp. I will not be talking about her because if I talked about her I’d spoil lots of things. Well back to Alfie, his dinner is three crumbs of bread! He lives with his father who is dying because he has bad breathing from working in the mine for many years. Alfie takes care of his father all the time. He buys food, makes sure his father is warm, sees if his breathing is getting better and much more. Alfie is a very nice kid, but he can be very protective. And when he gets protective he can sometimes be a troublemaker. For example, on page 176 and 177 when he is trying to protect himself from a new dentist named Ms. Root. “As Alfie accelerated down the stairs he quickly realised he was on a collision course with the headmaster. Nothing could stop the inevitable happening. THWACK!  The tray whacked into Mr Grey’s ankles.”

 

Everything that Ms. Root has is white, even her CAT! She is VERY VERY VERY  dangerous.For example, she gave Alfie a new toothbrush and toothpaste, but these weren’t the ordinary toothbrush and toothpaste, the toothpaste was like acid! It went right through the ground. And Alfie asked for a soft toothbrush, guess what he got? A TOOTHBRUSH WITH SPIKES STICKING OUT OF IT! How is that a soft toothbrush?! After Alfie figures out what Ms. Root gave him, he knew something was going on.

 

The main problem in this story is that somebody has been taking kids teeth when they put it under their pillow and instead of putting a coin they are putting a bat, spider or a moving eyeball! Alfie is trying to catch the person who is behind this. Alfie puts his friends and family first a lot in the book. At first Alfie didn’t want to solve the mystery but when something happened to him, he started to solve the mystery.

 

A connection I have to this book is that I like to solve mysteries. Even if Alfie didn’t want to solve it in the first place and he just did it because then the town would be safe.

 

I definitely recommend this book! NO doubt about it! The book’s genre was mystery, and funny horror. Well sort of horror.

 

Something that I like about this book is that it is funny, touching and descriptive! I love this book and I think that everyone should read it if they like books that have the things that I just listed. I rate the book five stars out of five stars☆☆☆☆☆!

 

Mar
01
2016

George’s Marvelous Medicine by Roald Dahl

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51ctcmuIfFL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_I am reading George’s Marvelous Medicine written by Roald Dahl. It is a story about an eight-year-old boy named George who is an only child who lives on a farm far far away from other kids. One afternoon after his mom and dad left, George and his Grandma were left alone. George has one major problem; his Grandma is evil (really really mean). She punishes George for growing so much he tries to shake her up a bit by making her a new medicine.

George dumps out Grandma’s medicine and makes her a new one out of all types of stuff.  He puts in shaving cream, soap, hair removal cream, nail polish, nail polish remover,  toothpaste  and deodorant from the bathroom. Next, he goes to the kitchen he puts in three bottles of gin (a type of alcohol which makes Grandma go crazy), chili peppers and a bottle of dish detergent. This is one of the funniest parts of the story because I can not imagine eating any of these things. The effect of this medicine is that it makes Grandma grow and grow and grow. This is very shocking to George and makes him have the idea to feed it to the animals.

Even though George was not too kind to his Grandma, he is really a kind person. He said  “I would not dare touch the medicine, mom said It could kill a man.” Even Though he wanted to shake Grandma up a bit, He did not want a dead body on my hands.” This is kind because he does want to kill Grandma. He is a bit of a scaredy cat for example he is scared of his own Grandma. George is creative. He is creative because he made his own medicine.

I really enjoyed this book. I would recommend this book. I enjoyed this book because it is really, really funny.  I would recommend this book as a book review book because it is the perfect length. This book is similar to most Roald Dahl books because it have a evil grandma. I would rate this book 4.9 stars.

By JAck BARKER

Dec
11
2015

Hamster Princess, by Ursula Vernon

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imgres-1The book that I read is called Hamster Princess, by Ursula Vernon. The main characters are called Princess Harriet and Ratshade. Harriet is not an average princess. When Harriet was only a tiny baby, a witch who is named Ratshade. cursed her so that when she was at the age of twelve, she would prick her finger but it also meant she would sleep for a very long time.  The curse made her invincible, but it also meant what I told you before, she would sleep for a very long time. The settings of the book are Harriet’s parents’ castle, her parents’ village, in which the name of her village is Hamster Vill, and other Kings’ villages in which are friend’s parents villages

One important part of the book is when Harriet gets cursed. It meant nothing could hurt her until she was twelve years old. Another important part of the book is what she does with the power. The power is invicibility.  Everyone started calling her Crazy Princess Hamster Bone because of some of the things she did like: jump off the highest tower in their village and attacking trolls and ogres. 

One event that changed the story is when Harriet swung Ratshade into the spinning wheel  and Ratshade got cursed instead of Harriet. Also when Harriet found a prince because that is what made the story find an ending because she got a friend too. An adjective to describe Harriet is that she is brave. She is brave because she is a risk taker. She jumps off towers in the kingdom and in the Hamster village, people don’t do that. Harriet is strong because she fights ogres and swings Ratshade into the spinning wheel. 

I liked Hamster Princess because the author threw out amazing ideas. One reason I did not like the book is the author would throw out  too many amazing ideas, which made it hard to follow. It was like too many facts just like this: there was a cow, and then a pig and then a chicken and then a cat and then the cow pooped. I  give this book four stars because sometimes the book was confusing, and it was like the pages were in the wrong order. I liked Hamster Princess because it was really heart warming.

Dec
10
2015

Nicholas And The Gang, By Rene Goscinny

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512g0WMD1nL._SX337_BO1,204,203,200_If you love to laugh read the book Nicholas and The Gang by Rene Goscinny! The main character in my book is a boy named Nicholas. Nicholas is a boy who lives in Paris France and the problem is that Nicholas  always gets into some kind of trouble.

Nicholas and his friends always end up getting into a fight one way or another and end up in the principal’s office. One of his friends even ended up getting expelled. During these times Nicholas decides that he wants to run away multiple times but he always stops himself. Usually because he wants dinner and ends up running back home.

One time he got suspended and then he decided that he would try to do his best every time he could. ( That does not mean he did though). “ You got detention again didn’t you Nicholas,” said Nicholas’ mom. This is what made Nicholas want to do better.

I liked this book because it is so funny. I laughed so hard when Nicholas was saying bad words in front of someone who did not know any English and started repeating those words . I also laughed when Nicholas tried doing handstands and fell flat on his face. I also liked when Nicholas said his favorite meal is the sandwich he sneaks out to the recess yard. I would recommend this book to anyone who loves to laugh because the book is so funny. Students who have a hard time with school would love this book because they might be in the same position. I would give this book 4 1/2  stars because this book is so funny and humorous.

 

Aug
29
2014

Dead End in Norvelt by Jack Gantos

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Dead End in Norvelt by Jack Gantos is about a boy named Jack who is eleven years old and lives with his Mom, Dad, horse and turkeys. He lives in Norvelt, a really small town in Pennsylvania that’s named after Eleanor Roosevelt. His Dad was in the army so he has some rifles that Jack accidentally shot himself with.

Jack’s problem is that his Dad is worried that the Russians would attack them so  he wanted to protect the town by building a bomb shelter in their backyard but too do that Jack has to cut down his Mom’s cornfield. That’s why his Mom grounds him for the summer.  He spends his summer digging a bomb shelter and helping Miss Volker. Miss Volker was given a job by Eleanor Roosevelt to be the town health helper. Every time a person dies she calls Jack to write an obituary (it’s a news article that reports the recent death of a person ) of that person. Jack then takes it to Mr. Greene, who runs the newspaper, to print in the next newspaper. Whenever he goes to Mr. Greene, Mr. Greene says, “There’s only one reason why you could be here.”.

I really enjoyed the book. It takes a while to read since each page has a lot of information so you have to re-read a lot of pages. I mostly enjoyed it because it’s really funny, for example, Bunny, who’s Jack’s friend, makes Jack touch a dead person. There are other parts I enjoyed, especially when Jack’s Dad lands a plane he won while gambling in right field and when Miss Volker does an operation on Jack. You would enjoy this book if you don’t mind people dying because a lot of people die in it. I would give this book five out of five stars since it’s so funny!