LREI Diversity Blog

I rely heavily on the 22 NAIS/PoCC Community Norms when I conduct workshops and facilitate tricky conversations.  At LREI, I have asked parents, faculty, admin, and students to “say ouch,” when hurtful language is used, to lean into discomfort when they are feeling challenged, and to be crisp, a norm I try hard to practice (really I do).

With approval from Gene Batiste I adapted the adult language of the norms for my work with Second through Sixth Graders. Beginning Second Grade with the norms allows the teachers and I to fall back on them as the students get older and the potential for mistakes or hurtful incidences increases. Recently, when a Third Grader made a statement that was misunderstood by his peers, a student immediately said “ouch” and another came to get me in my office to help them make sense of what happened. Reminding them to say I saw or I heard statements (Speak from the “I” perspective) and to Be Here (Be fully present) we were able to get to the bottom of the situation.

The norm I am highlighting for myself this early morning is Don’t give up on the institution or each other. I will admit that at the end on our first affinity group I was not sure I understood the direction our facilitators were headed. For a split second I thought of skipping the second session for a nap, but knew that my need to escape had to be a call for me to lean into my discomfort. Half way through the second session I climbed a steady ascent to the summit of my Latina identity and was grateful to my Latina/o facilitators for carrying me through this part of the journey.

During the PoCC Reception I spoke to a White man who echoed my exact feelings about his two sessions with his White peers. Affinity work is essential to our experiences at PoCC so please don’t give up on the institution or each other. Lean into your discomfort (save the nap for later) and “Go tell it on the Mountain.”

Thank you to the over 1500 adults and 1000 students who remained challenged while in Denver.

Thank you to my Latina/o Affinity Group facilitators and to Caroline Blackwell, the co-facilitator of the workshop we conducted on Thursday morning.

Thank you LREI.        

Family Homestead: Lift-a-Hammer Project - Make a house a home for a homeless family by painting and cleaning an apartment for a new client family about to enter our emergency or transitional housing program.

share a story

tell me your name

a family moved on

with notebooks left behind

paint a room

clean a stove

strangers, colleagues, friends

NAIS volunteers working for the greater good

we told our stories

laughter and warmth filled the rooms

government cheese

how poor were you

privilege and out houses

moving back to Haiti for a better life

stories of strangers

working together for the homeless families we will never meet

but perhaps we cleaned our home and shared our stories

At this morning’s general session, Kenji Yoshino spoke about the demands institutions place on individuals to conform to a set of societal norms. The pressure to act White, straight, or more masculine is equivalent to checking your identity at the door.

He shared his views on the gay rights movement’s journey through conversion to passing to covering.

• Conversion – LGBT individuals were subject to aversion therapy, electric shock therapy, or more severe forms of conversions in order to embrace heterosexuality.
• Passing – The rise of gay rights movement attacked the need for conversion but moved us into passing. The Don’t Ask Don’t Tell era warned those in the military to stay in the closet all their life.
• Cover – The gay rights issue of the day is gay rights marriage. You can be gay and say that you’re gay but don’t flaunt it – cover it.

In his documentary, The Prep School Negro, Andre Robert Lee also spoke of his joys and struggles at the Germantown Friends School.  Mr. Lee felt embraced and at home at GFS. There were Educators of Color and White educators who had his best interests in mind and yet, he checked his entire identity at the door. On his website he writes the following:

“While at GFS, I also thought of the family and the community I had left behind. We had been trained to live as second-class citizens, and I felt guilty about gaining access to this world of privilege and knowledge. I wanted to share this new world with those who were not able to walk with me. The idea for The Prep School Negro grew out of my first days at GFS. It has been with me ever since. As I reflect back, I can see more clearly the internal struggles I faced as an adolescent and as a young adult.”

A friend spoke with me Tuesday night about hardships she encountered this fall at her new school. After sharing one particular experience she had with some of her colleagues we both agreed that a few strong White allies she could have called on would have made a difference.

What exactly is a White ally and why do Educators of Color working in predominantly White institutions need them to be STRONG? I have read or heard definitions of an ally from people like Paul Kivel, Beverly D. Tatum, Tim Wise, and Kevin Jennings.  I find the work of the Reverend Andrea Ayvazian, ordained pastor in the United Church of Christ and anti-racism educator since 1985, answers this question.

An ally is a member of a dominant group in our society who works to dismantle any form of oppression from which she or he receives the benefit. Allied behavior means taking personal responsibility for the changes we know are needed in our society, and so often ignore or leave to others to deal with. Allied behavior is intentional, overt, consistent activity that challenges prevailing patterns of oppression, makes privileges that are so often invisible visible, and facilitates the empowerment of persons targeted by oppression.

The Rev. Dr. Andrea Ayvazian

Interrupting the Cycle of Oppression: The Role of Allies as Agents of Change

From Fellowship, JanuaryFebruary 1995, pp, 710

I have the privilege of being in the company of strong White allies at my school and in the various local independent school associations I participate in or co-chair. These individuals have spoken to other White people, sometimes on my behalf, but often to address the institutional racism of which they and their White peers are victims. They have never been told they were too sensitive or don’t have a sense of humor. Their actions and words leave an impression on their White colleagues, students and parents while also supporting students, parents and colleagues of color.

The journey to becoming a strong White ally, I have been told by my White friends, is challenging. Yet the rewards, both personally and for the good of our institutions, often outweighs the hard work. I encourage you to make the most of the positive work that comes out of affinity groups. If you are not satisfied with the direction of the conversation then use the power of your voice to alter the course of the dialogue.

Thank you to my White colleagues at LREI and to the White participants who are with me in Denver. My work is aided by your strength.

• Paul Kivel – Uprooting Racism: How White People can Work for Racial Justice
• Beverly D. Tatum – Why are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria and Can We Talk About Race?
• Tim Wise – White Like Me and Between Barack and a Hard Place
• Kevin Jennings -Telling Tales Out of School: Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals Revisit Their School Days and Mama’s Boy, Preacher’s Son