LREI Diversity Blog

I rely heavily on the 22 NAIS/PoCC Community Norms when I conduct workshops and facilitate tricky conversations.  At LREI, I have asked parents, faculty, admin, and students to “say ouch,” when hurtful language is used, to lean into discomfort when they are feeling challenged, and to be crisp, a norm I try hard to practice (really I do).

With approval from Gene Batiste I adapted the adult language of the norms for my work with Second through Sixth Graders. Beginning Second Grade with the norms allows the teachers and I to fall back on them as the students get older and the potential for mistakes or hurtful incidences increases. Recently, when a Third Grader made a statement that was misunderstood by his peers, a student immediately said “ouch” and another came to get me in my office to help them make sense of what happened. Reminding them to say I saw or I heard statements (Speak from the “I” perspective) and to Be Here (Be fully present) we were able to get to the bottom of the situation.

The norm I am highlighting for myself this early morning is Don’t give up on the institution or each other. I will admit that at the end on our first affinity group I was not sure I understood the direction our facilitators were headed. For a split second I thought of skipping the second session for a nap, but knew that my need to escape had to be a call for me to lean into my discomfort. Half way through the second session I climbed a steady ascent to the summit of my Latina identity and was grateful to my Latina/o facilitators for carrying me through this part of the journey.

During the PoCC Reception I spoke to a White man who echoed my exact feelings about his two sessions with his White peers. Affinity work is essential to our experiences at PoCC so please don’t give up on the institution or each other. Lean into your discomfort (save the nap for later) and “Go tell it on the Mountain.”

Thank you to the over 1500 adults and 1000 students who remained challenged while in Denver.

Thank you to my Latina/o Affinity Group facilitators and to Caroline Blackwell, the co-facilitator of the workshop we conducted on Thursday morning.

Thank you LREI.        

Family Homestead: Lift-a-Hammer Project - Make a house a home for a homeless family by painting and cleaning an apartment for a new client family about to enter our emergency or transitional housing program.

share a story

tell me your name

a family moved on

with notebooks left behind

paint a room

clean a stove

strangers, colleagues, friends

NAIS volunteers working for the greater good

we told our stories

laughter and warmth filled the rooms

government cheese

how poor were you

privilege and out houses

moving back to Haiti for a better life

stories of strangers

working together for the homeless families we will never meet

but perhaps we cleaned our home and shared our stories

At this morning’s general session, Kenji Yoshino spoke about the demands institutions place on individuals to conform to a set of societal norms. The pressure to act White, straight, or more masculine is equivalent to checking your identity at the door.

He shared his views on the gay rights movement’s journey through conversion to passing to covering.

• Conversion – LGBT individuals were subject to aversion therapy, electric shock therapy, or more severe forms of conversions in order to embrace heterosexuality.
• Passing – The rise of gay rights movement attacked the need for conversion but moved us into passing. The Don’t Ask Don’t Tell era warned those in the military to stay in the closet all their life.
• Cover – The gay rights issue of the day is gay rights marriage. You can be gay and say that you’re gay but don’t flaunt it – cover it.

In his documentary, The Prep School Negro, Andre Robert Lee also spoke of his joys and struggles at the Germantown Friends School.  Mr. Lee felt embraced and at home at GFS. There were Educators of Color and White educators who had his best interests in mind and yet, he checked his entire identity at the door. On his website he writes the following:

“While at GFS, I also thought of the family and the community I had left behind. We had been trained to live as second-class citizens, and I felt guilty about gaining access to this world of privilege and knowledge. I wanted to share this new world with those who were not able to walk with me. The idea for The Prep School Negro grew out of my first days at GFS. It has been with me ever since. As I reflect back, I can see more clearly the internal struggles I faced as an adolescent and as a young adult.”

A friend spoke with me Tuesday night about hardships she encountered this fall at her new school. After sharing one particular experience she had with some of her colleagues we both agreed that a few strong White allies she could have called on would have made a difference.

What exactly is a White ally and why do Educators of Color working in predominantly White institutions need them to be STRONG? I have read or heard definitions of an ally from people like Paul Kivel, Beverly D. Tatum, Tim Wise, and Kevin Jennings.  I find the work of the Reverend Andrea Ayvazian, ordained pastor in the United Church of Christ and anti-racism educator since 1985, answers this question.

An ally is a member of a dominant group in our society who works to dismantle any form of oppression from which she or he receives the benefit. Allied behavior means taking personal responsibility for the changes we know are needed in our society, and so often ignore or leave to others to deal with. Allied behavior is intentional, overt, consistent activity that challenges prevailing patterns of oppression, makes privileges that are so often invisible visible, and facilitates the empowerment of persons targeted by oppression.

The Rev. Dr. Andrea Ayvazian

Interrupting the Cycle of Oppression: The Role of Allies as Agents of Change

From Fellowship, JanuaryFebruary 1995, pp, 710

I have the privilege of being in the company of strong White allies at my school and in the various local independent school associations I participate in or co-chair. These individuals have spoken to other White people, sometimes on my behalf, but often to address the institutional racism of which they and their White peers are victims. They have never been told they were too sensitive or don’t have a sense of humor. Their actions and words leave an impression on their White colleagues, students and parents while also supporting students, parents and colleagues of color.

The journey to becoming a strong White ally, I have been told by my White friends, is challenging. Yet the rewards, both personally and for the good of our institutions, often outweighs the hard work. I encourage you to make the most of the positive work that comes out of affinity groups. If you are not satisfied with the direction of the conversation then use the power of your voice to alter the course of the dialogue.

Thank you to my White colleagues at LREI and to the White participants who are with me in Denver. My work is aided by your strength.

• Paul Kivel – Uprooting Racism: How White People can Work for Racial Justice
• Beverly D. Tatum – Why are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria and Can We Talk About Race?
• Tim Wise – White Like Me and Between Barack and a Hard Place
• Kevin Jennings -Telling Tales Out of School: Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals Revisit Their School Days and Mama’s Boy, Preacher’s Son

I have just returned home from a weekend in the Catskill Mountains and let me tell you folks, those mountains are not easy to move. However, I did manage to relocate a few rocks and fallen leaves. As I watched the water around change direction I knew my small impact on this even smaller part of these mountains was about to have a domino affect. The water began to pick up speed as other rocks and leaves were pushed out of the way. While on this walk I spoke with my partner about life, work, my two children, personal growth and self preservation. This internal mining also has a domino effect in my life. It starts with the rocks of frustration I move out of the way and the fallen spirit I need to shift in order for me to see the clear water ahead gathering strength and making a difference.

My friends and colleagues, people of color and white people, adults and students, allies in the struggle for social justice for everyone, are you ready to Move Mountains and Mine Within? Are you ready to lift the rock that keeps you from seeing and hearing other people’s reality? Are you ready to lean into the discomfort of that stubborn and immoveable mountain in order to gather some strength from the waters that will fill your well?  Are you ready to accept the charge laid out for us by the PoCC and SDLC co-chairs to navigate these rapids of change?

I am!

20 Year NAIS PoCC Quilt

They are giants, my elders. Their words transform and refuel me. This summer, while working passionately throughout a weekend in July on the Call-to-Action committee, one of my PoCC and NYC elders reminded me to fill my well. I returned to NYC ready to do just that. As we enter into the second day of our conference, I am ever present of my well. If you see me, let me know if your well needs refilling. I am currently overflowing!

My Quilt Square

A dedication to my children, Sophia Rose and Andrei Tomas

I walk down the long, long, very long halls of the convention center and greet people I have known for many years. These friendly and familiar faces belong to the educators I have meet over the past 19 years. I ask for the Bendicion (a blessing from God) from my elders in the Latina/o Affinity group, kiss and hug the folks I haven’t seen since PoCC in Boston, Seattle, or Dallas, and then take a moment to look around for more of my friends.

Instead, I am struck by the sea of new faces at this year’s conference. There is that momentary pause as I think, “Do I know this smile? Have I heard this voice? Do I know this person?” I meet and greet the people with the “1st Year” tags on and I am reminded of my first conference so many years ago. The people who approached me and welcomed me into their conversations, circles, after dinner trips around an unfamiliar city, are some of my closest friends and esteemed colleagues.

To all you 1st years, Thank You. Thank you for painting the canvas with your smile and enriching our experiences with your presence.

To my PoCC “Mamas y Papas,” gracias. Your shoulders have carried me along for 19 years and I am ready to take on my share of the load while I care for and welcome the next generation of educators.

Can you tell how much Sir Sidney inspired me?

Sir Sidney speaks the truth
for who will prepare the way
for those here
for those coming
Sir Sidney speaks the truth
about a good education
which should be the
BIRTHRIGHT
of every child.
Sir Sidney speaks the truth
a child’s instincts bordering on genius
21 years of education
and snapshots along the way
Sir Sidney speaks the truth
about the need for the proceeding generations to try their best to
SECURE
that the children now and the next generation
are well educated and prepared
to be the
CITIZENS
who can take care of themselves.
Sir Sidney speaks the truth
the reservoir of hope
bit by bit one learns
bit by bit one pays
Sir Sidney speaks the truth
about the boy he was
the journey he made
and the man he is.
Thank you Sir Sidney Poitier
for speaking the truth.
I will honor your words by
speaking the truth.

We have all heard of, and some of us have personally experienced, sexism and sexists on construction/demolition sites.  I participated in the Habitat for Humanity project at Musician’s Village with four other women. My experience was NOT your stereotypic work environment. It did not take long for us to feel that we were important members of Brian’s team. Our skills, knowledge, and strength were as equally valued as the men’s. I learned to appreciate the beauty of my work from Dominic (see picture below) and the importance of precision and accuracy from Megan. Shout-out to Brian and Habitat for Humanity for creating such a humane workspace for us.

Painting room one

Painting room two

Working on kitchen molding

LUNCH!!

My mentor, Dominic.

I arrived in New Orleans Tuesday afternoon, eager to settle into my room and strategize about my week. When I showed some friends last night how I structured my day, they laughed. It was all in good spirits. These are friends who know I rely on order and structure (and that’s putting it mildly), and they appreciate me for it!

As educators, many of us are accustomed to planning our day and having it spread out in front of us. We even get used to odd times like 10:50 and 2:05. I remember how crazed I was during my first PoCC in Philadelphia trying to make sense of my day. This momentary chaos was not because the program wasn’t clear, but because I was moving around the hotel and/or convention center getting to affinity groups, workshops, speakers, book signings, networking room, lunch, dinner, and chaperone duties.

Below is my tip for newcomers and the organizationally challenged. Make a list in a notebook with the following headings and then fill it in as you browse through the program.

Day                Event                Location

Following one planner made it easy for me to tell friends where to meet me for social times and allowed me to see when and where I was supposed to and wanted to be.

There are so many thought provoking workshops and speakers this year that now I only wish I could be in three places at once!