LREI Diversity Blog

I’ve got the POCC Blues. I already miss the early morning breakfast with students, the sea of familiar faces from past conferences, and the moments of clarity and waves of knowledge pouring from a workshop facilitator.

I finished my conference survey (please do so as well), shared some of the materials I gathered with LREI faculty, set a date for the colleagues who attended POCC with me to continue our connection, and began a conversation with the 5 HS students who attended SDLC about the impact they  wish to leave on their peers and school community. This last blog is dedicated to them, Surayya, Niles, Danica, Steven and Leon.

While the adults were having their experience at the Convention Center, the students, over 1300 High School students from Independent Schools across the country, met in affinity and home groups for the Student Diversity Leadership Conference. Several years ago Call-to-Action, the group that helps structure POCC/SDLC, decided to unite the adults and students. On the final day, we meet early for a profound experience, our last affinity group session by gender and with the students. (On a side note, bravo/a to NAIS and POCC/SDLC chairs for embracing the gender spectrum during the affinity meetings.)

This final session is often an emotional experience as many of us hear students of color announce their surprise and relief to enter a room filled with people just like them. While it is always daunting to hear how the student’s struggles mirror what the adults experience, I am left hopeful when I hear of the leadership roles the students have at their schools. One of our own HS students this year expressed hesitation as we walked to the convention center saying to me, “I’m so used to being the only one it has been weird to be with so many people like me.” Imagine that.

From this hour or so affinity meeting, the entire conference, adults and students, assembled themselves by region. As I greeted my friends and colleagues from various New York Independent Schools, the adults began to settle in for the highlight of the conference, the Student-Led Adult/Student Dialogue. I am so proud of Danica, Leon, Surayya, Steven, and Niles. They set high standards for the discussion they facilitated with downtown NYC school adults, they planned and executed the session with perfect timing and provocative topics, they moved the adults along when we needed to transition, even when the adults did not want to, and they brilliantly showcased their leadership skills as they led us in an activity and follow-up discussion.

I have spoken to many adults in the 10 years I have attended POCC and they reflect my sentiment. It is difficult to put into words what transpired over the few days we shared. It is hard to translate a workshop when you are still making sense of how to implement the work into your own classroom, or your own life. It is challenging to explain what happened during the affinity group work because most of it is emotional and moving, not always a tangible outcome that can be put easily into words and action. Though many of us will share our experiences, please understand that it is difficult to express in sound bites what happened during POCC/SDLC over lunch, while transitioning from a class or prior to a meeting.

One thing is for sure, POCC is not solely a social gathering of Educators of Color and it is not a place where we see much of the state we are visiting. It is less a place and more of a space. A space to be greeted by faces, names, languages and clothing that are more familiar than not. A space to “let down your hair” and be embraced, supported, validated, and encouraged. There were many waves of opportunities encountered by the participants of POCC/SDLC and I look forward to slowly emptying my well and sharing them with you.

Rosetta taps into her own crafted facilitation skills as she trains a large group of participants on how to facilitate conversations about race. She reminds us that “authentic friendships” across race implies that regular discussions occur around race; otherwise, she questions how authentic these relationships really are.

A few great moments:

• Privilege is like fish seeing the water.
• Be mindful of “Leadership Oppression.”
• It’s not about blame, and it’s not about personal guilt.

One of my NYC mentors, Jaqui Peltzer, Executive Director of Early Steps and PoCC Veteran has taught me the value of filling my well, meaning that the spirit and energy of being with Educators of Color from Independent Schools propels me forward as a Latina in our schools and in my social justice and equity work. She made this reference to the well at a meeting of the People of Color in Independent Schools of NY more than 15 years ago. Today we talked about how important it is for us to empty our septic tanks in order to keep our wells clean and open for the rejuvenating waters.

Zeny Muslin, Diversity Coordinator of The Bank Street School for Children, is my Independent School mother.  

Her presence fills my well with her inspiration, motivation, mentoring, advice and friendship. For 21 years Zeny has nourished my family and my work.

I enjoyed today’s Affinity group work and look forward to reading the encouraging words left in my pamphlet by other Latinas, one of whom was Zeny.

Ernest Green

Janice prepares us to

“anchor ourselves for a moment

for someone who helped get us here”

Ernest Green

living up to

holding onto

humbling and inspiring

unbelievable experiences

members of an

exclusive club

opened and closed on

sept 5, 1957

what’s changed

and what hasn’t changed enough!

central to the issues that has most

plagued

America

the issue of

Race

hundreds of slaves

plantation owned founding fathers

governors stopping education

for field hands

let me tell you

as a child

turned away

let me tell you

stories of my grandfather

guns turned on him for voting

a jeep in front

a jeep behind

we were going to school and

that’s when I realized the full

extent of what was wrong

they wanted us to fail

our families and communities were not going to let that happen

WE 9 students

were not going to let that happen

we had math to do, papers to write

Sputnik in Russia

just another matter in the paper

Dr. John Hannah

picketer and benefactor

all wrapped in one soul

50 years ago

50 years later

9 scared kids

willing to follow the path

don’t pat us on the path for what we did

but for what we must do now

THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME

YOU ARE THE RIGHT PEOPLE

Shannon Yee, Marine Debris and Outreach Intern with the San Diego Coastkeepers, got our team of six PoCC participants to work right away. With grabbers, gloves, plastic bags to collect our debris, and a tally sheet, we walked along the rocks to gather up several pounds of trash. Digging under the rocks to pull out other people’s litter was gratifying, for I knew that the small section we cleared had a larger impact on the earth. The work was also rather symbolic.

When I put together a workshop, either for educators from across the country or for my own colleagues at LREI, I often feel like I am digging deep into rocks and tugging at layers of junk society has piled on us in order to clear the way for richer understandings and a tangible impact on people’s lives. Sometimes I am successful. Like the time when a long time member of the LREI community thanked me for helping him understand systemic bias and the impact it has had on his life as a White male as well as on mine.

Other times, I have to satisfy myself with the piece of the plastic bag I was able to free from the rocks and not fret the rest. The clutter of bias, prejudice, hate, and inequities is so grand and our work to clear the way is a lifetime commitment. We only covered a few yards today. The San Diego Coastkeepers will continue providing opportunities for others to tug, dig, remove, and clear the way. This is how I see my commitment to equity and justice. I’ll keep tugging. I hope you will, too.

My answer – The San Diego Coastkeeper. The Two people are the original founders of this community-based advocacy group which is now the 15th Waterkeeper organization in the country. They are now a 15 team organization that relies on 7 values to reach its mission. These values are Impactful, Thoughtful, Courageous, Transparent, Collaborative, Passionate, and Exemplar.

These values resonated with me. Change a few words of their descriptions and I feel they are speaking to my commitment to creating schools that are diverse and socially just. After browsing their website, I am confident I picked a community service project for Wednesday, December 1 that will speak to more than my passion for helping others and the environment.

It is not too late to join the NAIS community in one of two community service projects. Come on, PoCC and SDLC participants, get your grove on in San Diego.

I rely heavily on the 22 NAIS/PoCC Community Norms when I conduct workshops and facilitate tricky conversations.  At LREI, I have asked parents, faculty, admin, and students to “say ouch,” when hurtful language is used, to lean into discomfort when they are feeling challenged, and to be crisp, a norm I try hard to practice (really I do).

With approval from Gene Batiste I adapted the adult language of the norms for my work with Second through Sixth Graders. Beginning Second Grade with the norms allows the teachers and I to fall back on them as the students get older and the potential for mistakes or hurtful incidences increases. Recently, when a Third Grader made a statement that was misunderstood by his peers, a student immediately said “ouch” and another came to get me in my office to help them make sense of what happened. Reminding them to say I saw or I heard statements (Speak from the “I” perspective) and to Be Here (Be fully present) we were able to get to the bottom of the situation.

The norm I am highlighting for myself this early morning is Don’t give up on the institution or each other. I will admit that at the end on our first affinity group I was not sure I understood the direction our facilitators were headed. For a split second I thought of skipping the second session for a nap, but knew that my need to escape had to be a call for me to lean into my discomfort. Half way through the second session I climbed a steady ascent to the summit of my Latina identity and was grateful to my Latina/o facilitators for carrying me through this part of the journey.

During the PoCC Reception I spoke to a White man who echoed my exact feelings about his two sessions with his White peers. Affinity work is essential to our experiences at PoCC so please don’t give up on the institution or each other. Lean into your discomfort (save the nap for later) and “Go tell it on the Mountain.”

Thank you to the over 1500 adults and 1000 students who remained challenged while in Denver.

Thank you to my Latina/o Affinity Group facilitators and to Caroline Blackwell, the co-facilitator of the workshop we conducted on Thursday morning.

Thank you LREI.        

Family Homestead: Lift-a-Hammer Project - Make a house a home for a homeless family by painting and cleaning an apartment for a new client family about to enter our emergency or transitional housing program.

share a story

tell me your name

a family moved on

with notebooks left behind

paint a room

clean a stove

strangers, colleagues, friends

NAIS volunteers working for the greater good

we told our stories

laughter and warmth filled the rooms

government cheese

how poor were you

privilege and out houses

moving back to Haiti for a better life

stories of strangers

working together for the homeless families we will never meet

but perhaps we cleaned our home and shared our stories

At this morning’s general session, Kenji Yoshino spoke about the demands institutions place on individuals to conform to a set of societal norms. The pressure to act White, straight, or more masculine is equivalent to checking your identity at the door.

He shared his views on the gay rights movement’s journey through conversion to passing to covering.

• Conversion – LGBT individuals were subject to aversion therapy, electric shock therapy, or more severe forms of conversions in order to embrace heterosexuality.
• Passing – The rise of gay rights movement attacked the need for conversion but moved us into passing. The Don’t Ask Don’t Tell era warned those in the military to stay in the closet all their life.
• Cover – The gay rights issue of the day is gay rights marriage. You can be gay and say that you’re gay but don’t flaunt it – cover it.

In his documentary, The Prep School Negro, Andre Robert Lee also spoke of his joys and struggles at the Germantown Friends School.  Mr. Lee felt embraced and at home at GFS. There were Educators of Color and White educators who had his best interests in mind and yet, he checked his entire identity at the door. On his website he writes the following:

“While at GFS, I also thought of the family and the community I had left behind. We had been trained to live as second-class citizens, and I felt guilty about gaining access to this world of privilege and knowledge. I wanted to share this new world with those who were not able to walk with me. The idea for The Prep School Negro grew out of my first days at GFS. It has been with me ever since. As I reflect back, I can see more clearly the internal struggles I faced as an adolescent and as a young adult.”

A friend spoke with me Tuesday night about hardships she encountered this fall at her new school. After sharing one particular experience she had with some of her colleagues we both agreed that a few strong White allies she could have called on would have made a difference.

What exactly is a White ally and why do Educators of Color working in predominantly White institutions need them to be STRONG? I have read or heard definitions of an ally from people like Paul Kivel, Beverly D. Tatum, Tim Wise, and Kevin Jennings.  I find the work of the Reverend Andrea Ayvazian, ordained pastor in the United Church of Christ and anti-racism educator since 1985, answers this question.

An ally is a member of a dominant group in our society who works to dismantle any form of oppression from which she or he receives the benefit. Allied behavior means taking personal responsibility for the changes we know are needed in our society, and so often ignore or leave to others to deal with. Allied behavior is intentional, overt, consistent activity that challenges prevailing patterns of oppression, makes privileges that are so often invisible visible, and facilitates the empowerment of persons targeted by oppression.

The Rev. Dr. Andrea Ayvazian

Interrupting the Cycle of Oppression: The Role of Allies as Agents of Change

From Fellowship, JanuaryFebruary 1995, pp, 710

I have the privilege of being in the company of strong White allies at my school and in the various local independent school associations I participate in or co-chair. These individuals have spoken to other White people, sometimes on my behalf, but often to address the institutional racism of which they and their White peers are victims. They have never been told they were too sensitive or don’t have a sense of humor. Their actions and words leave an impression on their White colleagues, students and parents while also supporting students, parents and colleagues of color.

The journey to becoming a strong White ally, I have been told by my White friends, is challenging. Yet the rewards, both personally and for the good of our institutions, often outweighs the hard work. I encourage you to make the most of the positive work that comes out of affinity groups. If you are not satisfied with the direction of the conversation then use the power of your voice to alter the course of the dialogue.

Thank you to my White colleagues at LREI and to the White participants who are with me in Denver. My work is aided by your strength.

• Paul Kivel – Uprooting Racism: How White People can Work for Racial Justice
• Beverly D. Tatum – Why are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria and Can We Talk About Race?
• Tim Wise – White Like Me and Between Barack and a Hard Place
• Kevin Jennings -Telling Tales Out of School: Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals Revisit Their School Days and Mama’s Boy, Preacher’s Son