Category Archives: Humor

Jun
09
2017

My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish Live and Let Swim by Mo O’Hara

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This book I read is called My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish Live and Let Swim by Mo O’Hara. This book has two parts to it. The first part takes place in Acuram. The first part is about the zombie goldfish Frankie who is being attacked by a psychic octopus named Antonio. Antonio can tell the future and Sanj and Mark kidnap Antonio and Frankie. The second part takes place in a TV show scene. The second scene is a crazy scene where Marks cat Fang turned into a zombie cat that hypnotizes people too. Mark was also trying out for the addition against Frankie,who is owned by Pradeep, Samy and Tom. Mark and Fang are cheating.

Tom, Pradeep and Samy are all smart because they always find a way to stop their older brothers from doing something evil. In the book they stopped them from stealing the octopus from the Acuram while hanging over a pit of hammerhead sharks. They are foolish because they let Frankie go into the tank where they needed were feeding the octopus and Frankie nearly died. They are not afraid because they go into spaces they’re not allowed to without really caring. In the book they went into the staff only place a couple times.

One of the most interesting parts is when Fang turned into a zombie cat. This is interesting because Fang was so cute the way they described. I would’ve never thought that Mark would turn Fang into a zombie goldfish because Fang is his pet. Just picturing Fang with zombie glowing eyes and hypnotizing powers looks wierd to me. I can’t really see Fang with glowing eyes and hypnotizing powers because he is so cute. There are even some pictures and I still can not imagine it because Fang was so cute then he turns into a zombie. A quote from the main that describes the book is “this octopus is a psychic octopus.” This is that describes the book because it helps me get an understanding that he is psychic. It also helps with later in the book.

I really enjoyed this book because there a lot of funny parts and there are a lot of turning points happening. It was so much fun reading this book for me. I would would recommend this book because there are a lot of events in this book, that’s what kept me on my toes while I was reading this book. I would also recomend this book because it is super funny. This book reminds me of a two parted episode of a show because this book has two parts that kind of relate to each other. I would rate this book five stars which means I loved it

Jun
09
2017

Shadowmagic by Joshua Khan

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The book I read is called Shadowmagic by Joshua Khan. The book is about a boy named Thorn and the leader of Gehenna, (grand city) Lilith (Lily) Shadow. There is a person trying to kill Lily Shadow and Thorn arrives and they find out who the killer is. In the book it takes place in Gehenna. To be more specific it takes place in Port Cutlas before moving to Castle Gloom and ends in the City of Silence. I have a zero percent clue of when it takes place.

Thorn is a smart, fearless, and a strong boy. Thorn is smart because he figured out who was trying to murder Lily. Thorn is fearless because he defeated a few of Gehenna’s and Lumina’s (also a grand city) soldiers while trying to get into Castle Gloom. Thorn is strong because he fell off a roof and did not break any bones or injure himself.

THE REST DOES CONTAIN SPOILERS.

Three important parts that happened were when Thorn found his father, when Lily used magic and when a guard said to Thorn, “Your father murdered Lady Shadows family.” It was important when Thorn found his father because he said he did not kill Lily Shadows family. It was someone else! It was also important when Lily used magic because boys are only allowed to use magic. This was important because if a girl uses magic they would be sentenced to die but she summoned a ghost puppy named Custard and nobody knew!!! Lastly it was important when a guard said to Thorn, “Your father murdered Lady Shadows family.” Even though this is not true it was important because it made Thorn look like a bad person even though he is a great hunter and was trained and raised in the woods and he knew his father wouldn’t do that.

I enjoyed Shadowmagic because it always left you hanging so it really didn’t matter where you ended. For example when you finish chapter 47 which is the end of being in Castle Gloom and move into the City of Silence, Thorn realizes that Lily’s uncle (Pan) is using the Mask of Azeroth or the mask of the ,undead, to kill Lily and Thorn jumps on a  bat that is dying named Hades to save Lily. I would recommend Shadowmagic because it always gives enough detail to make you feel like you are there. For example on page 293 it says “The spectators surrounded them on all sides. She tried to back away but it was too late. They caressed her with icy fingers.” This made me feel like I was actually there that is why I recommend this book. This book reminds me of Heroes of Olympus: the House of Hades because it mostly takes place in the underworld and that is where it probably takes place (look at the map in the front if you read it). I would give it an infinity star rating but I can only give five so five!

Jun
09
2017

The Wishing Spell, by Chris Colfer

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The Land of Stories

Image result for the wishing spell cover

When I was little I wondered what happened to characters like Cinderella and Little Red Riding Hood after their stories ended. Well in the Land Of Stories series, you can find out. The book I read is called the Wishing Spell and it is written by Chris Colfer. This book is about two kids, Alex and Conner, who are brother and sister. They are going through a hard time because there father recently died. For their 12th birthday, their grandma gives them a book called The Land of Stories. One night the book starts humming. Weird right? Alex then starts dropping her pencils on the book and they fall into the book! Eventually Conner and Alex jump into the book! When they land into the different world they realize that all fairy tale characters they knew growing up are real. As much as Alex and Conner enjoy this world they realize the only way back to the old one is to get the Wishing Spell.

Alex is smart, brave and cautious. She is smart because she remembers thoughts and lessons from the past and uses that to help her in the future. She is in the top of her class (unlike her brother) and pays attention to things. She is brave because she takes risks to do things that pay off in the end. She is cautious because she doesn’t trust everyone and makes plan B’s.

I thought the most interesting part of the book is when they realize their family used to live here. I thought it was interesting because the way the two twins reacted differently tells a lot about their personality. Alex is surprised and happy, she feels like she finally has a connection to some place because for the past year the twins had to move around a lot. Conner on the other hand doesn’t want his friends to know and is highly embarrassed. I think that Conner has less confidence and sometimes does things he might not necessarily want to do, for other people.

I enjoyed this book because I thought the ‘after stories’ made a lot of sense and by the end of the book I felt like I knew each character. I would recommend this book as well as the other two books. (A new one is coming out shortly.) Chris Colfer is in many shows and movies such as glee and struck by lightning. I think the Bailey twins are very unique because they share both many similarities and many differences. They each know so much about each other, but respect their differences. A quote from the book that I think would best explain Alex would be, “I think what I’ve learned from all of this is that villains are mostly people villainized by circumstance.” I think this explains a lot about her personality because in the beginning of the book, Alex only thought that the heros or princesses were the good people. But in the end like it said in the quote, they were mostly villainized by circumstance. They were originaly good people and something they did wrong made them an outcast. Even if Alex is wrong, she would usually not admit that she knew she was wrong. She learned that its OK to be wrong after her experience in the fairy tale world. I would rate this book 5 stars because of the creativity and the bonds between characters.

 

 

 

Jun
09
2017

The First Last Day By Dorian Cirrone

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The title of the book is The First Last Day. The author is Dorian Cirrone. This book is about a girl named Haleigh who never wants the summer to end. But she has to be careful what she wishes for because she finds a set of oil paints and decides to use them. When she uses them, she makes a wish that the summer will never end. The wish comes true. But instead of it being a good wish, it turns into a bad wish and the same day repeats over and over and over again. Haleigh gets bored because every day she has to do the same thing. She hangs out with her best friend Kevin, but she also finds out that her mom may be pregnant and Kevin’s grandma gets a stroke every night. When that keeps on repeating, Haleigh tries to undo the wish so that she can meet her baby brother or sister. Kevin, her best friend, helps her by figuring out where the oil paints came from and how to undo the spell. This book takes place on the New Jersey shore in a beach town. I believe this is happening in modern times because it has a boardwalk and cell phones.

Haleigh in kind, determined, and fearful. She is kind because she never gets extremely angry. When she knows Kevin wants a DVD disc to watch a movie, the next day she takes her dad’s wallet and buys the movie for Kevin because she cares a lot about Kevin. She is determined because when the day keeps on getting repeated over and over, she doesn’t give up. She just keeps on going. Although it’s not that easy for her, at the end everything still turns out alright. Finally, she is fearful because she thinks that when the summer ends she won’t see Kevin again and this makes her a little worrisome. This is why Haleigh is kind, determined, and fearful.

This book is mainly about Haleigh wanting the summer to never end, but also not wanting to repeat the same day over and over. One part of the book that I thought was interesting was when Kevin jumped out with a cow suit and they started saying puns about cows. It was really funny. During this scene, Haleigh said a pun and this is what it is, “I eyed him up and down. ‘I see you beefed up your wardrobe.’” This helps me understand that Haleigh is very funny because she said a pun that I laughed at when I was reading it. One thing that I thought was pretty interesting was when Haleigh and Kevin were writing down all of the suspects for who gave Haleigh the oil pants. Kevin kept thinking that it was Marty the Magician. When they asked Marty, he said no. So Kevin was wrong. This was important because their plan backfired and I can imagine being shocked when this happened.

I really enjoyed the book because it was hilarious. It made me laugh out loud. The reason why is because the book had so many puns and the characters both had a really good sense of humor. Another reason that I liked the book was because there were moments that really touched me. For example, when Haleigh felt sad because Kevin’s grandma kept on having a stroke. I would definitely recommend this book. I would recommend this book for kids who like sad, funny, and happy stories because it’s a combination of all of those put together. It’s also about time travel and magic and I think how they put reality and magic together was very cool. This book is a little bit like The Invisible Day because Haleigh is also as determined as Billie to undo magic. I would give this book three stars because it was pretty good but I didn’t love it. It just didn’t interest me as much as some other books.

Jun
07
2017

DIARY of a Wimpy Kid by JEFF Kinney

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Image result for diary of a wimpy kidThe book I read is Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney. It’s the first book of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. It takes place in some town in the United States during the present day. It’s about a boy named Greg Heffley who hates middle school. Some of the main characters are Rowley, Rodrick, Manny, Greg’s mom, and his dad. Greg writes his important things in his life in a diary, which he calls a journal, because he thinks that diaries are for girls. Some of the important things are what he thinks about other people and some personal things. Greg is trying to get more popular by making funny comics for the school paper but the teacher in charge of the paper always changes the comics and makes them bad. Every time Greg tries to do something to make himself popular, it fails.

Greg is curious, clever, and he does a lot of things to get into trouble. I know he is curious because he wants to know about what his friend is talking about and about other people’s lives. The way he is clever is he creates comics. One of the ways Greg gets himself into trouble is during a school play he does not do what he is supposed to and he throws an apple at someone. He throw the apple when he was singing a song in the play. He did not sing because his brother is recording him. Advensholey the other people singing the song stopped singing too. Like 10 minutes later someone Greg did not like popped out from the curtains and Greg found an opportunity to throw an apple at her, so he did.

Some of my favorite parts of the book involve both Rowley and Greg getting in trouble with other people or with their friendship. My first event is what happens on Halloween. Greg and Rowley are trick-or-treating late and high schoolers come over to them on a truck and spray them with a hose. When they are leaving, Greg yells, “I am calling the cops,” and regrets it two seconds after. Greg and Rowley have to hide in Greg’s grandma’s house for most of the night. They get away but they run into the high schoolers again. Another favorite part of mine is when Greg and Rowley get into a small fight because Greg says a lie and gets Rowley in trouble. Rowley finds a new friend and they have a sleepover. After Greg finds out, he gets jealous and goes over to a kid across the street from Rowley to show him he has other friends too. The kid’s name is Fregley. Fregley has no friends so he does not have the best experience with other people and does some nasty things to Greg. Greg reacts to them by jumping out the bathroom window and running back to his house.

I enjoyed this book and encourage you to read it. This book is funny and I learned not to lie in certain situations like when it has to do with friendships and really important things. This book relates to Diary of an 8-bit Warrior. They are both written in the first person and the main characters are a lot alike and they both have the same problems. I would rate this book 4 stars.

Jun
06
2017

As Brave as You, By Jason Reynolds

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As Brave as You, by Jason Reynolds

This book is called As Brave as You. The (awesome) book is by Jason Reynolds. I chose this book because from the moment I picked it out and read the first page, I saw that it had that hilarious and sarcastic aura to it, and I really like those types of books.  This book is about Genie (age 11) and Ernie Harris (age 13 about to turn 14), who go to North Hill, Virginia, and they stay with their grandparents for a whole month.

 

North Hill is a small town in the middle of Virginia. At first, Genie and Ernie are like “Dude, what is this place? Nothing like home, man.” They hate North Hill. Ernie and Genie are from Brooklyn. They miss the shade coming from the tall buildings cooling down the streets. They miss the ice cream truck coming to the sidewalk every day. Something that they really hate in North Hill, is the sunlight. Imagine the sunlight coming from your bedroom window, except 30 times brighter. That’s how bright the sun is there. There are a lot of steep hills, woods and forests in North Hill.

 

When Ernie and Genie arrived in North Hill, they hung out with their grandparents the first few days and they thought it was boring because there were no other kids their age there. Their grandparents literally live on the ‘North Hill’ of North Hill. They live on the top of an actual hill. There are no other houses on top of the hill.

 

Over the next few days, they wandered around aimlessly not knowing what to do (except for Ernie, he mostly played with the dog, Samantha, for the majority of the first few days). One day, Genie was looking over the side of the cliff and saw a little tiny row of houses he had never seen before. In front of a red house, he saw a girl around Ernie’s age. They walked down the hill (Genie tumbled) and met the girl.

 

Her name is Tess. Tess lives down the hill from them. They became friends and Tess took them to the local tavern where they drank the North Hill “special”. It turns out to just be ginger beer. Ginger beer is kind of like ginger ale, I think. They chatted for a bit, went to her house, and after a while Ernie and Genie left. Their grandma was hollering their names from the top of the hill like a mad woman, so they ran back up. For the rest of the vacation, the three of them hung out, got into big pickles and made DIY items.

 

Finally, Ernie’s 14th  birthday comes up. Grandpa Brooke (that’s his first name. Weird, right?) decides that he wants to teach his oldest grandson how to shoot! Grandpa Brooke decides to teach him how to shoot in the forest, so no bullets would do any harm to outsiders. Grandpa Brooke was a sniper in the Vietnam War!  He taught some of the best shooters in North Hill how to shoot.

 

IF YOU DON’T WANT A KIND OF BIG SPOILER, SKIP THIS ENTIRE PIECE OF INFORMATION!!! I’M WARNING YOU!!!

 

It’s kind of surprising that Brooke is a blind man! Yep, blind, and he still knows how to shoot. Kind of crazy. Grandpa Brooke is also scared of going outside because the last time he was outside, he had just become blind (because of Glaucoma), and he was sitting on the front steps of his house. All of a sudden, a poisonous snake came out of nowhere and bit Brooke. He had to be rushed to the hospital, and ever since then, he was scared to go outside.

 

NOW YOU CAN READ YOUR HEART OUT!

 

Brooke, Ernie, Genie, and Crab (a shooter in North Hill who is a good friend of Brooke’s), all go to the woods to teach Ernie how to shoot. Genie isn’t old enough to learn how to shoot, so he just goes to watch Ernie.

Everyone Is oblivious to Ernie’s nervousness, except for Genie. That’s right, Ernie is nervous. The weird thing is, Ernie is never nervous about anything. Nothing at all. As soon as Ernie held the gun in his hands, he started to get really shaky and his hands trembled. Once he pulled the trigger the gun slipped backward from his hands, sending the bullet behind. It didn’t hit anyone, luckily. However, the gun slammed into Ernie’s mouth, knocking out two of his teeth. He had to go to the Emergency room and get braces. This is the kind of pickle they would get into.

 

About two weeks later, the brothers’ parents come back to get them, and Ernie and Genie can’t deny that they had a good time. Just as they were getting to like North Hill, they had to leave. Sad, right?

 

I would definitely recommend this book if you like sarcasm and wit. Also if you like some sort of tame adventure.

Again, this book is AWESOME! I would give it ????? out of ????? stars. THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS I HAVE EVER READ!!!

 

Jun
06
2017

Dairy Of A Wimpy Kid: Double Down

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Greg Heffley is an ordinary middle schooler who prefers video games over phys Ed. one day he watches this TV show about this guy who’s life is secretly being filmed. He wonders if his life is also being secretly filmed so when he is standing in the shower he gets a bit nervous. “Diary of a wimpy kid: Double down” is about Greg Heffley struggling with everything from his future to him having a girlfriend and a motorcycle. Greg is funny, desperate for a decent life, a “loser” at his school.

 

If There is a movie about someone’s who’s life is secretly being filmed then isn’t there a pretty good chance that Greg’s life could also be being filmed? The creepy thing is though, that all the other people in the tv show besides the main character aren’t actually being secretly filmed they’re actors! So that means that gregs family could be ACTORS. Like his brother always fights with him but if he’s just an actor then who KNOWS, maybe one day him and Greg will be…buddies! But if Greg’s parents are actors then that’s just messed-up! I mean if they watch you while you’re in the shower and pick out your  clothes then…I don’t even know what to say.

 

Sometimes Greg Heffley wonders if his life is really good enough to be on a TV show, so every now and then Greg will do something that will get the people at home watching a laugh, like falling on purpose of slipping in dog poo. Because in his opinion: “who wants to see a movie about some kid who stays up till midnight doing homework?”

 

I would give this book ten stars out of ten because it’s HILARIOUS! This book is pretty easy to read though so it’s definitely not the best book to read for reading thirty minutes a day. You should REALLY read this book and the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid series. This is the last book for now. It’s at the end of the series. You don’t have to read all the books before this one in the diary of a wimpy kid series though. It will make perfect sense even if you don’t. Please comment and let me know what you think of this book review!       

 

 

 

 

Jun
06
2017

I Funny by James Patterson

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The book I will be talking about today is called “I Funny.” It takes place in high school in the present. The main character’s name is Jamie Grimm who enters a comedy contest in NYC. He is really excited to be in the contest.

 

Jamie is very funny, nervous from stage fright and is “old-school” as you can probably tell by the book cover with the mustache and glasses and fuzzy eyebrows. Every single time Jamie performs, he is sweating so much that his clothes become wet. In the book he does a lot of research on old comedians and their work. He is also funny for that same reason. Here is one of his jokes: “So a woman and her baby walked into a bus. And the bus driver said ‘Man, that’s one ugly baby!’ So the mom’s all angry and grumpy and says to the man next to her ‘That bus driver insulted me!’ So the man said ‘Go tell him that. I will hold the monkey.’” Pretty funny right?  

 

Jamie’s family died in an car accident but he survived with an injury to his butt. Jamie’s injuries have left him in a wheelchair though. He lives with his aunt and uncle. They are really very boring! They don’t laugh at all until the middle of the book.

 

My rating is ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ because it really cracked me up. To be honest, this is probably one of the most funniest books I have ever read. It is amazing and I highly recommend it.

May
04
2017

The Penderwicks, By Jeanne Birdsall

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THE PENDERWICKS

By Jeanne Birdsall

 

Can Mrs. Tifton get the Penderwick family out of Arundel before their vacation is up? Jeez, I honestly don’t know. The Penderwicks can honestly be a pretty big handful that will not  fit in your hand. If you keep reading, you may or may not find out whether she kicks them out. This book is the third in the series  called The Penderwicks. It shares the same title as the first book does, which can be a little confusing if you’re writing it down on paper (which, in this case, I am).

 

In this story, the important main characters are Rosalind (she’s the oldest Penderwick sister), Skye (second oldest), Jane (the middle one), and Batty (the youngest). Mrs. Penderwick died of cancer when Batty was two weeks old.

 

When they start out, Hound (the family dog) had eaten the map to Arundel. It turns into a major problemo. They finally find their way to Arundel cottage, and then they see that it is next to  a mansion. Kind of a bad place to put a cottage, don’t ya think?

 

Anyways, Skye goes exploring and bumps into a kid who lives at Arundel Mansion. She calls Mrs. Tifton snooty and stuck-up. The boy’s eyes widen and Mrs. Tifton calls his name. “Excuse me,” the boy says. “My mother is calling me and you’re in my way.”

Skye is ina  heck of a lot of trouble, or so she thinks..

 

As soon as Skye gets back to the cottage,  she calls an emergency MOOPS (Meeting Of Older Penderwick Sisters). She explains what the problem is, and they decide to send Jane to Arundel Mansion to make up with Jeffrey.

 

Jane and Jeffrey come back only to discover that Skye had burned the cookies. Skye goes on  rampage as Jane and Jeffrey enter. She calls Jeffrey a stuck-up boy with a rich, snooty, mother.

 

Finally, they get on good terms. After a while, Jeffrey turns eleven, and it has to be his worst birthday ever. He finds out the hard way that his mother is engaged.

 

About three days later, Mrs. Tifton finds Skye and Jeffrey wrestling on the ground. Just like, playful wrestling.

Mrs. Tifton kicks Batty (she was there too) and Skye out of the music room (what a terrible place to wrestle).

Mrs. Tifton doesn’t know that Mrs. Penderwick is dead, so she goes on throwing insult after insult at her. Naturally, Skye was eavesdropping. She couldn’t stand it anymore and burst into the music room. Skye shouts at Mrs. Tifton “My mother is dead, you hear me, DEAD!! She would never leave us like that, because she was the best mother in the world, unlike you, who won’t even listen to your own son!”

 

Mrs. tifton feels a hint of remorse for the Penderwicks. But, alas, she still send them home to the cottage. They are on sort of okay terms now.

 

Sadly, a few weeks later, the Penderwicks leave, and they all agree that they had the best time of their lives!

 

I would give this book ????? stars;  I love IT! (This is like, the 7th time I’m reading it…)

May
04
2017

The Terrible Two Get Worse

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If you like pranks then keep reading; if not, then keep reading anyway– because there is so much more than just pranks in this book! I am reading the The Terrible Two Get Worse, the second book in the series The Terrible Two, by Jory John and Mac Barnett. The book takes place in Yawnee Valley and the year is around 2016. Miles and Niles, the two main characters, are clever pranksters but during school they are the teachers’ pets. Miles and Niles mostly pull pranks on Principal Barkin, a blowhard who bosses people around a lot.

 

Miles, one of my favorite main characters, is sneaky, smart, and clever. He is sneaky when he and Niles creep into their school about fourteen hours early to pull a prank. The reason why I think he is smart, is when they are doing a quick prank he thinks of one fast. Finally, why I think he is clever is he and Niles can do pranks and nobody ever knows it’s them. They are the best students and fool everyone at the meetings where they try to figure out who did the pranks.

 

One of the most important parts of the book is when Niles and Miles do a prank and it gets Principal Barkin fired and Barkin’s father, who used to be the Principal, replaces him. That is important because the bossy Principal Barkin is really easy to prank. At first, Miles and Niles were a little happy about Principal Barkin leaving, but when they realize Principal Barkin’s dad turns the school into a boot camp, they try to get Principal Barkin back. The reason why they don’t want Barkin’s dad to be Principal is because he is harder to prank then they thought and they want to bring the fun back to their classmates.
I liked this book because it has what I like in a book–it’s funny, at times it’s suspenseful, and there are pranks! I also enjoyed this book because there is always something going on that keeps you entertained. I recommend this book to anyone who likes fun books. It’s also the perfect  book for a reader who wants interesting characters. I think this book is similar to The Twits by Roald Dahl because they both have a lot of pranking in it. I would rate this book four stars.