Category: English 10C
Grade 10: Final Critique Checklist
Final Critique: Example Outline & Body Paragraph
English 10
Example Outline and Body Paragraph 1
Intro
Thesis: Even though Whitman and Gatsby have an openness to life and an appreciation of those around them, the former recognizes and fortifies the ideals of an inclusive and attainable happiness that are at the heart of the American dream, while the latter strays from what the American dream is about, getting caught up in the view that attaining worldly goals will lead him to the happiness the dream promises.
Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence: The American Dream is based upon the democratic inclusion of all people – an ideal that Whitman celebrates, but that is ignored in Gatsby’s world.
Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence: Whitman recognizes that the happiness offered by the American dream can be found only within oneself, not through chasing after things outside oneself as Gatsby does.
Body Paragraph 3
Topic Sentence: Although Gatsby strays from the American dream that Whitman articulates, there are times when he does embody the ideal American Whitman describes in his poem.
Conclusion
Final Sentence: Fitzgerald, in creating the character of Gatsby, was pointing out the corruption of the American dream, especially in such a time of consumerism as the 1920s. Gatsby’s eventual unhappiness, in contrast to the happiness Whitman is able to achieve, shows us that we must not forget or ignore the American dream as it was originally meant to be.
Body Paragraph 1
The American Dream is based upon the democratic inclusion of all people – an ideal that Whitman celebrates, but that is ignored in Gatsby’s world. Whitman believes in the principle from the Declaration of Independence that “all men are created equal.” In his idea of America, he includes even those looked down upon in society, saying “the keptwoman and sponger and thief are hereby invited… the heavy-lipped slave is invited… [and] the venerealee is invited” (Whitman, 19.375). Here he has a group of people looked down upon in society: an adulteress, someone who takes advantage of others, a slave, and a diseased person. They are all invited to this metaphorical “meal” – a symbol of the equal opportunity the American dream offers (19.372). His choice to use the word “meal” implies a familiarity among these Americans – they would be eating together, so to speak, and partaking in the dream in a communal fashion, rather than competitively. His use of the word “invited” is ironic, because he is speaking of a lack of exclusiveness. For one person to be invited usually implies that there is another person being excluded. However, Whitman invites everyone, as he feels that all are worthy of partaking in the opportunity America provides. However, this inclusiveness does not translate into Gatsby’s world. There, not everyone is invited, even though his large parties suggest otherwise. Those whom Gatsby perceives as living the American dream are the elite. He sees wealth and status as the realization of the American dream and as the portal to gaining happiness. But this interpretation of the dream is an exclusive one, and leads him to suffer. Gatsby thinks that the benefit of working his way up in wealth will be that he is accepted into this elite group. However, he comes to realize that status is something you must be lucky enough to be born into. This realization directly contradicts the equal opportunity the American dream suggests. Much as Gatsby hopes that being a wealthy self-made man will give him an open invitation to the “big dinner party” Mrs. Sloane drunkenly invites him to, it becomes apparent that for him the many benefits he feels he attained by becoming wealthy are still unreachable (Fitzgerald, 103). Mrs. Sloane really “doesn’t want him” at her party (103). He is not really among her circle – if he went, he “wouldn’t know a soul there” (103). This is in stark contrast to Whitman’s dream where everyone is invited, regardless of status. In the world Gatsby lives in, the American dream means having the privilege to exclude. It only applies to the lucky few. In the end, Gatsby “pa[ys] a high price for living too long with a single dream,” because when his dream crashes, he is in a world that is “material without being real” (167). Nothing Gatsby strives for has any relation to the ideals of the American dream. Ultimately, Whitman’s inclusive view brings him more success than Gatsby’s belief that exclusiveness is synonymous with happiness.
Final Critique: Sample Introduction
English 10
Example Introduction
The American Dream is a notion of happiness or greatness created by social institutions and social movements. In this land of freedom, ordinary people are supposed to be able to strive for and achieve their goals through hard work, perseverance, and moral behavior. However, the ideals that society creates can be misleading and even unattainable. They appear to be utopian yet they are not always in the interest of the common person; instead, they form a “master narrative” that authoritatively rules over a society and suppresses individuality, possibly leading to damnation rather than salvation. In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novel The Scarlet Letter, the self-righteous magistrates create a rigid standard of life based on the ideal of pious simplicity. In this model, the townspeople are supposed to strive for religious wholeness, or the 17th-century Puritans’ idea of the American Dream. Since the founding forepersons escaped religious persecution to create a better community in America, the townspeople conform to the Boston colony’s unified quest for purity, putting aside their own individual aspirations. Whereas Hawthorne’s novel represents the American Dream as a religious expectation enforced by social institutions, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby depicts the dream as a consumer-centered social movement. The materialistic values of the characters in The Great Gatsby reflect the freedom, decadence, and self-expression of 1920’s America. The wealthy elite embody a dream that happiness can be achieved through affluence. In both texts, the main characters strive to overcome social adversity and pursue their own dreams, but in doing so, Hester twists and defies the Puritan ideal, while Gatsby follows and is engulfed by materialism. The end results for the two protagonists highlight the importance of being independent from society’s prescribed ideals. Rather than trying to assimilate into “the master narrative” of their respective societies, individuals must create their own American Dream or else face self-destruction.
Supplementary Texts for Final Essay Assignment
“Mosque Madness at Ground Zero” (The New York Post)
“Zero Grounds” (The New Yorker)
“American Muslims Ask, Will We Ever Belong” (New York Times)
Images from Image Unit (Robert Frank, Dorothea Lange, Met Museum paintings)
“Cosmopolis 1919-1931” in New York: An Illustrated History and accompanying video
F. Scott Fitzgerald, “My Lost City”
Dick and Jane Primers
Rafael Casal, “Barbie and Ken 101”
Shirley Temple and Bojangles in The Little Colonel
Shirley Temple and Jane Withers in Bright Eyes
Toni Morrison, “Afterword” from The Bluest Eye
Oprah Interview with Toni Morrison
English 10 — Final Essay Assignment
Vanity Fair Article: “Rethinking the American Dream”
“Rethinking the American Dream” by David Kamp
English 10 Syllabus 5/16- 6/3
English 10C
Jane Belton
Syllabus May 2011
Monday 5/16
In Class: Sharing of WJ#18. Begin reading “Rethinking the American Dream” by David Kamp (Vanity Fair, April 2009).
Assignment: Finish reading and annotating Kamp article. As you read, please try to identify Kamp’s thesis. Mark the line(s) you think articulate his thesis. How is this article a critique? How does he structure his argument/build his critique? What evidence does he use to support his critique? Then select 3-5 moments in the article that you think connect to the texts and/or themes of this course. Be sure to bracket and annotate these moments, for discussion on Wednesday.
Tuesday 5/17
In Class: Discuss Kamp article. In-class writing: How is the Kamp piece a critique of the
American Dream? What evidence does Kamp use to persuade his reader of his critique?
Assignment: WJ#19: To what extent do you agree/disagree with Kamp’s critique? What are your critiques of the American dream? What do you think are its failures and flaws? Where do you see these failures and flaws playing out in the works you’ve read this year? Be sure to cite specific evidence from the article and the course texts in your response.
NOTE: Please bring all your texts to class on Wednesday!
Wednesday 5/18
In Class: Share WJ#19. Finish discussion of Kamp article. Writing Workshop #1: Gather all the works you’ve read this year and your WJ#19. Look for passages in the
works that support your critique of the American Dream. Select the two primary works and one supplementary work you want to use to support your critique.
Assignment: Continue work from today. What is your critique of the American Dream? What evidence/texts will you use to persuade your reader? Refine your critique into a thesis, finalize selection of texts, and select textual evidence.
Thursday 5/19 – No Class
Friday 5/20
In Class: Writing workshop #2: Share thesis statements and texts in small groups. Work on finalizing passages you will use as textual evidence.
Assignment: Continue work from today. Finalize the three texts (two primary and one supplementary) you will use as a lens to critique the American Dream. Choose 3-4 pieces of evidence from each primary text and 2-3 pieces of evidence from your supplementary text and analyze those pieces of evidence, keeping in mind your critique. This is WJ#20. 2 pages typed, minimum.
Monday 5/23
In Class: Writing workshop #3: Bring in evidence and analysis of evidence. What trends do you see in your analysis? How might your analysis inform the structure of your body paragraphs? Write outlines and topic sentences.
Assignment: Finish outlines and formulating topic sentences for your body paragraphs. Using the analysis from WJ#20, write at least two body paragraphs. 3 pages, minimum.
Tuesday 5/24
In Class: Writing workshop #4: Work on formulating introductions and thesis statements. Write introductions.
Assignment: Finish the first draft of your essay, minus the conclusion. Revise intro, thesis, topic sentences, analysis, and citations. Add more evidence as needed, deepen analysis for each body paragraph.
Wednesday 5/25
In Class: Work on conclusions. Discuss drafts as a whole.
Assignment: Complete first draft for Tuesday. WJ Portfolio 17-20 due Tuesday.
Thursday 5/26 – No Class
Friday 5/27 — NO CLASS – FIELD DAY
Monday 5/30 NO SCHOOL – MEMORIAL DAY
Tuesday 5/31
In Class: First Draft Due. WJ Portfolio 17-20 due. Introduce Process Piece. Individual Conferences.
Assignment: Continue revising your essay.
Wednesday 6/1
In Class: Individual conferences.
Assignment: Continue revising your essay.
Thursday 6/2 – No Class
Friday 6/3 — READING DAY. Final day to meet with me about your essay.
FINAL ESSAY PORTFOLIO DUE ON EXAM DAY
English 10 HW: Due Monday May 16
Friday 5/13
In Class: Introduce final essay assignment. Begin WJ#18 in class: What have the texts we’ve read this year taught you about the American Dream and the American experience? How have the texts challenged or reinforced your initial assumptions about the American Dream and the American experience? In your response, please address at least 4 of the 6 texts of the course specifically, using specific examples.
Assignment: Finish WJ#18. 2 pages typed, minimum.