Final Critique: Example Outline & Body Paragraph
English 10
Example Outline and Body Paragraph 1
Intro
Thesis: Even though Whitman and Gatsby have an openness to life and an appreciation of those around them, the former recognizes and fortifies the ideals of an inclusive and attainable happiness that are at the heart of the American dream, while the latter strays from what the American dream is about, getting caught up in the view that attaining worldly goals will lead him to the happiness the dream promises.
Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence: The American Dream is based upon the democratic inclusion of all people – an ideal that Whitman celebrates, but that is ignored in Gatsby’s world.
Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence: Whitman recognizes that the happiness offered by the American dream can be found only within oneself, not through chasing after things outside oneself as Gatsby does.
Body Paragraph 3
Topic Sentence: Although Gatsby strays from the American dream that Whitman articulates, there are times when he does embody the ideal American Whitman describes in his poem.
Conclusion
Final Sentence: Fitzgerald, in creating the character of Gatsby, was pointing out the corruption of the American dream, especially in such a time of consumerism as the 1920s. Gatsby’s eventual unhappiness, in contrast to the happiness Whitman is able to achieve, shows us that we must not forget or ignore the American dream as it was originally meant to be.
Body Paragraph 1
The American Dream is based upon the democratic inclusion of all people – an ideal that Whitman celebrates, but that is ignored in Gatsby’s world. Whitman believes in the principle from the Declaration of Independence that “all men are created equal.” In his idea of America, he includes even those looked down upon in society, saying “the keptwoman and sponger and thief are hereby invited… the heavy-lipped slave is invited… [and] the venerealee is invited” (Whitman, 19.375). Here he has a group of people looked down upon in society: an adulteress, someone who takes advantage of others, a slave, and a diseased person. They are all invited to this metaphorical “meal” – a symbol of the equal opportunity the American dream offers (19.372). His choice to use the word “meal” implies a familiarity among these Americans – they would be eating together, so to speak, and partaking in the dream in a communal fashion, rather than competitively. His use of the word “invited” is ironic, because he is speaking of a lack of exclusiveness. For one person to be invited usually implies that there is another person being excluded. However, Whitman invites everyone, as he feels that all are worthy of partaking in the opportunity America provides. However, this inclusiveness does not translate into Gatsby’s world. There, not everyone is invited, even though his large parties suggest otherwise. Those whom Gatsby perceives as living the American dream are the elite. He sees wealth and status as the realization of the American dream and as the portal to gaining happiness. But this interpretation of the dream is an exclusive one, and leads him to suffer. Gatsby thinks that the benefit of working his way up in wealth will be that he is accepted into this elite group. However, he comes to realize that status is something you must be lucky enough to be born into. This realization directly contradicts the equal opportunity the American dream suggests. Much as Gatsby hopes that being a wealthy self-made man will give him an open invitation to the “big dinner party” Mrs. Sloane drunkenly invites him to, it becomes apparent that for him the many benefits he feels he attained by becoming wealthy are still unreachable (Fitzgerald, 103). Mrs. Sloane really “doesn’t want him” at her party (103). He is not really among her circle – if he went, he “wouldn’t know a soul there” (103). This is in stark contrast to Whitman’s dream where everyone is invited, regardless of status. In the world Gatsby lives in, the American dream means having the privilege to exclude. It only applies to the lucky few. In the end, Gatsby “pa[ys] a high price for living too long with a single dream,” because when his dream crashes, he is in a world that is “material without being real” (167). Nothing Gatsby strives for has any relation to the ideals of the American dream. Ultimately, Whitman’s inclusive view brings him more success than Gatsby’s belief that exclusiveness is synonymous with happiness.