Final Update: Allow for the Transformation

When I went into this self study, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do: I would carve out time for myself to write more during the year, attend to and nurture the writer in me that seemed on a distant but parallel path to my teacher-self.  Running on what seemed like two parallel lines, these two selves rarely seemed to touch. In the end, while I didn’t actually end up writing, I discovered more points of convergence between teacher Jane and writer Jane than I had thought possible.

In an earlier post, I wrote about my self study through the metaphor of “driving at night with headlights,” a mantra that my teacher E. L. Doctorow used to use, and one that I had always found particularly centering.  These words capture most of my process as a writer.  Now, after my work this year, I also know that they inform my teaching practice more than ever.

Yesterday, as I sat down to write for the first time this summer, I read back through a notebook of mine from last summer, in which I’d written about a drawing I’d done.  Here are some of the notes I took on my process of creating the drawing:

“I chose the chalk so I could layer and smudge and change, and I did — outlining and then filling in and transforming the image over time, making it something else entirely. ….So this is my process and in the end I created beautiful things. I just needed to give myself the time to fill in the pieces… So what I can take from this is keep at it, don’t doubt myself, and allow for the transformation.”

I think this captures quite well my journey these past few years and serves as a guide for how I will approach what comes next.

 

Final Critique: Example Outline & Body Paragraph

English 10

Example Outline and Body Paragraph 1

Intro

Thesis: Even though Whitman and Gatsby have an openness to life and an appreciation of those around them, the former recognizes and fortifies the ideals of an inclusive and attainable happiness that are at the heart of the American dream, while the latter strays from what the American dream is about, getting caught up in the view that attaining worldly goals will lead him to the happiness the dream promises.

Body Paragraph 1

Topic Sentence: The American Dream is based upon the democratic inclusion of all people – an ideal that Whitman celebrates, but that is ignored in Gatsby’s world.

Body Paragraph 2

Topic Sentence: Whitman recognizes that the happiness offered by the American dream can be found only within oneself, not through chasing after things outside oneself as Gatsby does.

Body Paragraph 3

Topic Sentence: Although Gatsby strays from the American dream that Whitman articulates, there are times when he does embody the ideal American Whitman describes in his poem.

Conclusion

Final Sentence: Fitzgerald, in creating the character of Gatsby, was pointing out the corruption of the American dream, especially in such a time of consumerism as the 1920s. Gatsby’s eventual unhappiness, in contrast to the happiness Whitman is able to achieve, shows us that we must not forget or ignore the American dream as it was originally meant to be.

Body Paragraph 1

The American Dream is based upon the democratic inclusion of all people – an ideal that Whitman celebrates, but that is ignored in Gatsby’s world. Whitman believes in the principle from the Declaration of Independence that “all men are created equal.” In his idea of America, he includes even those looked down upon in society, saying “the keptwoman and sponger and thief are hereby invited… the heavy-lipped slave is invited… [and] the venerealee is invited” (Whitman, 19.375). Here he has a group of people looked down upon in society: an adulteress, someone who takes advantage of others, a slave, and a diseased person. They are all invited to this metaphorical “meal” – a symbol of the equal opportunity the American dream offers (19.372). His choice to use the word “meal” implies a familiarity among these Americans – they would be eating together, so to speak, and partaking in the dream in a communal fashion, rather than competitively. His use of the word “invited” is ironic, because he is speaking of a lack of exclusiveness. For one person to be invited usually implies that there is another person being excluded. However, Whitman invites everyone, as he feels that all are worthy of partaking in the opportunity America provides. However, this inclusiveness does not translate into Gatsby’s world. There, not everyone is invited, even though his large parties suggest otherwise. Those whom Gatsby perceives as living the American dream are the elite. He sees wealth and status as the realization of the American dream and as the portal to gaining happiness. But this interpretation of the dream is an exclusive one, and leads him to suffer. Gatsby thinks that the benefit of working his way up in wealth will be that he is accepted into this elite group. However, he comes to realize that status is something you must be lucky enough to be born into. This realization directly contradicts the equal opportunity the American dream suggests. Much as Gatsby hopes that being a wealthy self-made man will give him an open invitation to the “big dinner party” Mrs. Sloane drunkenly invites him to, it becomes apparent that for him the many benefits he feels he attained by becoming wealthy are still unreachable (Fitzgerald, 103). Mrs. Sloane really “doesn’t want him” at her party (103). He is not really among her circle – if he went, he “wouldn’t know a soul there” (103). This is in stark contrast to Whitman’s dream where everyone is invited, regardless of status. In the world Gatsby lives in, the American dream means having the privilege to exclude. It only applies to the lucky few. In the end, Gatsby “pa[ys] a high price for living too long with a single dream,” because when his dream crashes, he is in a world that is “material without being real” (167). Nothing Gatsby strives for has any relation to the ideals of the American dream. Ultimately, Whitman’s inclusive view brings him more success than Gatsby’s belief that exclusiveness is synonymous with happiness.

Final Critique: Sample Introduction

English 10

Example Introduction

The American Dream is a notion of happiness or greatness created by social institutions and social movements. In this land of freedom, ordinary people are supposed to be able to strive for and achieve their goals through hard work, perseverance, and moral behavior. However, the ideals that society creates can be misleading and even unattainable. They appear to be utopian yet they are not always in the interest of the common person; instead, they form a “master narrative” that authoritatively rules over a society and suppresses individuality, possibly leading to damnation rather than salvation. In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novel The Scarlet Letter, the self-righteous magistrates create a rigid standard of life based on the ideal of pious simplicity. In this model, the townspeople are supposed to strive for religious wholeness, or the 17th-century Puritans’ idea of the American Dream. Since the founding forepersons escaped religious persecution to create a better community in America, the townspeople conform to the Boston colony’s unified quest for purity, putting aside their own individual aspirations. Whereas Hawthorne’s novel represents the American Dream as a religious expectation enforced by social institutions, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby depicts the dream as a consumer-centered social movement. The materialistic values of the characters in The Great Gatsby reflect the freedom, decadence, and self-expression of 1920’s America. The wealthy elite embody a dream that happiness can be achieved through affluence. In both texts, the main characters strive to overcome social adversity and pursue their own dreams, but in doing so, Hester twists and defies the Puritan ideal, while Gatsby follows and is engulfed by materialism. The end results for the two protagonists highlight the importance of being independent from society’s prescribed ideals. Rather than trying to assimilate into “the master narrative” of their respective societies, individuals must create their own American Dream or else face self-destruction.

Poetry Syllabus REVISED

Poetry Writing Workshop

Jane Belton

Syllabus May 2011

REVISED

Thursday 5/19

In Class: Exercise 10 due (typed). Workshop Day 1

Assignment: 1) Begin focused revision work on Exercise 11 (Freewrite 5). Your revised exercise 11 (typed) and your focused revision work (Freewrite 5) will be due Wednesday 5/25. Read your classmates’ poems for workshop.

Friday 5/20

In Class: Workshop Day 2

Assignment: 1) Work on revising your exercises/workshopped pieces according to feedback. 2) Read and annotate classmates’ poems for workshop. 3) For Monday, bring in exercises you can work on in class (I have reserved laptops, if you want to work on revisions on computers)

Monday 5/23

In Class: Work period: Work on revising exercises and workshopped pieces for Portfolio II. You can also work on Exercise 11 and Freewrite 5, which is due Wednesday.

Assignment: 1) Read and annotate classmates’ poems for workshop. 2) Complete Exercise 11 and Freewrite 5 3) Work on revising materials for Portfolio II (see checklist).

Tuesday 5/24 – No Class

Wednesday 5/25

In Class: Exercise 11 and Freewrite 5 due. Workshop Day 3

Assignment: Read and annotate poems for workshop. Work on revising your exercises/workshopped pieces according to feedback. Prepare materials for Portfolio II (see checklist).

Thursday 5/26

In Class: Workshop Day 4

Assignment: 1) Complete Portfolio II, due Friday by 8:30 in my office.  2) Complete Focused Freewrite #6 due Wednesday 6/1 (2-3 pages, typed): Part I: Closely examine the outside poetry collection you’ve chosen for the trimester.  What do you notice about how the book of poetry is organized? Are there clearly defined sections (defined by the poet with section titles, for instance)? What are the arcs, transitions, movements, shifts within the collection as a whole?  Is there a clear journey the collection follows, a clear story it tells (a beginning, middle, and end), a clear “thread”? Are there recurring themes, images or concerns that tie the pieces together? Part II: Now, look back at all of your own writing this trimester. What themes, images, or concerns do you seem interested with in your work? What “threads” do you see in your own work? What do you want to showcase or highlight in your final portfolio? How might you organize this work? What journey/story/thread do you want your reader to take or follow in reading your final collection of poems? How do you want your final portfolio to begin and end? What additional poems do you need to write now to fit into this final portfolio collection and help complete this “journey”? Then: Write at least one of those additional poems for Wednesday 6/1.

Friday 5/27  — No Class — Portfolio II due by 8:30 am in my office

Monday 5/30 – No Class

Tuesday 5/31 – No Class

Wednesday 6/1

In Class: Freewrite 6 due.  Work period/conferencing

Assignment: Work on organizing and revising work for Portfolio III. Work on introduction to your final portfolio (see checklist for details). Prepare to read a selection of your work (5-7 minutes) at our scheduled exam time.

Thursday 6/2

In Class: Work period/ conferencing

Assignment: Complete final portfolio. See checklist for details.

Friday 6/3 – Reading Day: Schedule an appointment with me in advance!

Your final portfolio is due at our scheduled exam slot

Supplementary Texts for Final Essay Assignment