I think that I have improved on editing and revising other piers work. It’s also a lot of fun doing it too! The challenging part of revision is to not make edit’s like mechanics and focus more on run on sentences, or description. I think I’m good at finding a place with less description, and then changing it. I’m excited to write more writing pieces, essays or more!

I’m proud of my creative writing piece because I think that it is really creative and fun. It’s a story about what happens to me with 100 balloons. I learned how to tell a story about something I didn’t have any idea of how to. It was challenging to find a story involved with 100 balloons, even though the beginning was easy. I wrote about myself floating up into the sky and landing in all different countries, it was hard to decide how to leave the country or what my story was going to be there. I think that I can improve on being more descriptive and say how I felt when I did something. Here it is!

It was a hot summer day, when I was going to get some ice cream with my friends. Right next to the ice cream truck, was a man selling balloons. They seemed very interesting because some of the balloons were in shapes of houses, animals, people and so much more. The man selling them seemed very hot and sweaty because his face was so red. I could see sweat dripping down his face, it looked like he needed a nice ice cold bottle of water.

“Balloons, come get colorful, joyful balloons!” The man said trying to get people’s attention.

I walked towards him because he started waving to me. I wasn’t so sure if I should go towards him because he seemed a bit awkward.

“Come my dear, buy some balloons! We have all different colors, shapes, and sizes,” The man said. Then he whispered something, I couldn’t hear it very well but I think he said “They’re magical.”

I was pretty convinced so I was about to pick one, when the man said,

“Can you hold these balloons? I just need to grab a bottle of water. It’s really hot out here, it will just take a second.”

“ I don’t know if I am heavy enough to keep myself down,” I said not wanting to let the man down. I knew he was thirsty, so I said “Okay.”

He put all the strings in my hand and rushed away. I waited with my friends, until they started to say,

“Olivia, can we go now?”

Then I said “No, I told the man that I would hold these balloons for him.”

When he was out of sight, I started to feel lighter and lighter, until my toes started coming of the ground. I was going tip toes to point and then off the ground. I wanted to scream the balloon man’s name, but I didn’t know his name. I started to make motions with my body so the weight would bring me back down, but it didn’t work. When the man came back, I was about ten feet high. I didn’t want to drop because that could cause to an injury. The man stepped onto the bench and tried to get a hold of my feet, but he wasn’t fast enough. I was almost as high as an apartment building. I started going into clouds, then I saw rainbows!

I went through some more clouds, and I started to see some mountains and some snow. Where was I? The balloons started lowering me down to the ground, but I still held tight to the balloons. “I know this place! It’s the Hotel that I stay in while I’m in Aspen.” I walked around the place, I was excited but nervous. I was thinking of why did the balloons bring me here? Was in some kind of adventure?

After I went to some of my favorite places there, the balloons started floating up again. I saw rainbows in the sky and then the balloons started going down again. I could see a little brown triangle from far away, as I got closer I noticed that it was the Eiffel Tower! Now I was very curious of why I was in these places. Then one balloon popped, I wasn’t very nervous because I still had 99 left. But then another one popped, then another until I had 80, 70, 60, then 50. I tried to lift myself back up, so the balloons would pick me up and bring me to the clouds. I wasn’t light enough anymore.

Now I was stuck in Paris. I took french class, but I don’t know how to say “I was on a journey with my balloons and they all popped. It’s kind of magical, do you know where I could find more of these balloons?” Then I overheard some people talking in american, so I decided to walk up to them.

“Hello, I’m sorry to interrupt, but do you know where a balloon store is?” I asked.

“Um… I can ask my friend here, she speaks french and knows this place very well,” The girl said, looking like I was a crazy person.

“ Ah, oui. I mean yes, there is not a store, but there is a man selling them. There are rumors saying that they are magical. Last time I saw him, he was standing around the corner.” She said politely.

Then I felt a little excitement, but I also felt a little confused. From what the girl told me, it sounds like the man on the street back in New York. But it couldn’t be, I was in Paris right now. As I walked forwards and around the corner, there was a man. I could only see his back, but as he turned around I noticed that it was ‘the man’. He didn’t see me at first, but then he looked at me, actually happy that he saw me.

“Hello?” I said quietly.

“Little girl!” The man said. “Don’t you remember I said that these balloons are magical? Since you were too high, I decided to take some of my balloons and find you. Well guess how lucky I was!” The balloon man said.

“Well, I’m glad that you found me. Half of my balloons popped and I can’t come up again. Is there a chance that you have extras?” I said nervously.

“Yes! I do have extras. Your balloons popped because of the pressure in the sky. Here, I will give you 50 balloons. Hold onto them tightly, and I set them to go back to New York. Goodbye!”

I guess that the man was magical because right after he said goodbye, he either turned invisible or disappeared really fast. I noticed that 50 balloons were in my hand. I don’t even remember him giving them to me. Then my feet lifted off the ground, I went through the clouds, into the rainbows, and started to float back down again. I was back where the ice cream truck was and where all my friends were. It was strange because the man was selling balloons, but I thought he was in Paris!

“Olivia you’re back!” My friends said.

“Yeah…” I said really surprised.

Then I looked back at the balloon man, he gave me a smile and a wink. Then I gave him a smile and a wink back.

THE END!