A lot of people think that revisions and editing are the same thing, they are not! Editing is fixing grammar, punctuation, and juicy words. Revision is like taking something bumpy and making it smooth, it is completely transforming your piece. For example dding more drama, a new obstacle, or maybe a new character, or even changing your story arch.

The First Night

The following night, when Scheherazade was in bed, her sister Dinarzad said, “Please, sister, tell us another one of your wonderful little stories to pass the night.” The king added, “Let is be even more amazing than the last tale.” Scheherazade replied, “Very well!”

It is said, O’great King that not very long ago and not very far from here just past the waterfall and the hill side there lived a young princess. This Princess name was Ammara, her mother, Queen Karina and her father, King Abbas lived in a stunning palace that out shined the sun, and towered over the little village houses and even other kingdoms. Ammara had everything and anything anyone could ever dream of, but she wasn’t happy. Her parents begged her and begged her to atleast show a smile but she would not. The King and Queen didn’t know why she was so miserable because every time they asked she would say, “I am ashamed of the reason therefor I will not share it with you.”

Word Spread throughout the kingdom, peasants, merchants and every other royal families would bring her gifts but she would not accept. A royal ball was thrown to make the princess smile, jesters from miles away came, The walls were draped with the finest silk and the tables were lined with the shiniest silverware. All this work for one glorious night, but the princess did not even attend. The king and queen were ashamed of their daughter and you could tell by the looks across the faces of the guests that they were too.

But morning drew near at this point in the story, and Scheherazade fell silent, leaving King Shahryar burning to hear the rest of the tale. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and lovely story!” Scheherazade said, “This is nothing compared with what I will tell you tomorrow night, if the king spares me and lets me live. It will be even more exciting and and entertaining.” The King thought, “I will spare her until I hear the rest of the story. Then I will have to put her to death the next day.”

The Second Night

The next night, when Scheherazade lay in bed, her sister Dinarzad said, “Please, sister, tell us the rest of that tale about the Girl who could never be happy!” The king added, “Let it be the end, for I have got to know how it ends.” Scheherazade replied, “As you wish!”

The King and Queen started to turn sad themselves, and they knew it. When the clouds rolled over the sun and dark drew near, Karona and Abbas crept out of the sleeping kingdom, over the hill side and through the waterfall to find a demon. They were gone for almost a week, that made the little princess miserable, she cried and cried for three days straight, until her parents appeared with a man in the doorway. Ammara hugged her parents, the crying stopped but she still didn’t smile.

Her parents knew what they had to do, they didn’t like it but they did what they thought would be best for their daughter. Karona and Abbas pulled the demon aside after Ammara had left dinner. “Are you sure this is what you want?” the demon clarified. “We believe that she will be happier with Allah,” said Abbas. “But let us say our farewells to our beloved daughter.” The King and Queen sat down with Ammara and talked the night away, but when the sun began to rise they left.

But morning drew near at this point the story, and Scheherazade fell silent, leaving King Shahryar dying to hear the rest of the tale. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and lovely story!” Scheherazade said, “This is nothing compared with what I will tell you tomorrow night, if the king spares me and lets me live. It will be even more exciting and entertaining.” The King thought, “I will spare her until I hear the rest of the story, for I have to know how it ends. Then I will kill her the next day.”

The Third Night

The night after, when Scheherazade was in bed, her sister Dinarzad said, “Please, sister, tell us the rest of that tale about the Girl who could never be happy!” The king added, “Let it be the end, for I am desperate to know how it ends.” Shahrazad replied, “With greatest pleasure!”

The demon lead the small princess behind the waterfall where no one could see them. There he told her he must kill her and when the princess asked why he said, “you parents have asked me to kill you, they don’t know why you are so sad and it breaks their heart, they believe that you will be happy with Allah and the rest of the spirits. So tell me Princess why are you so sad?” The little princess said, “I am ashamed of the reason therefor I will not share it with you.” So the demon raised his ax but the princess cried out for help. “Why do you cry for help young girl? Don’t you agree with your parents? Everyone is happier with Allah.” “I do agree with my parents. I want to be with Allah, just not yet.” Argued the Princess.

The demon raised his axe once more but the princess cried for help. “I want to live, I really do! I’ll do anything, I really will!” “Hmmmm”, thought the demon “you can live if you tell me why you are so sad. “I am ashamed of the reason therefor I will not share it with you.” So the demon raised his ax once more but the girl cried for help! “I have always longed for someone to play with, all my life. Finally my mother was pregnant and I smiled and danced all around the house. But my mother received sickness and couldn’t have another baby. I grew more and more sad each day. My mother and father never had time to play with me. They were always off and away doing official business. The maids tried to play with me but I just refused. By this point I was just too sad. So, now when my parents ask me, why are you so sad, I can’t answer because they would not be able to live with themselves.”

The demon understood the princess and accepted her story. “I will not kill you, but you have to promise me one thing. Be grateful for your life, because you only have one of them, and never be sad again.” The princess jumped up and hugged the demon, she thanked him and waved goodbye. She ran back to her kingdom as fast as she could. Her parents couldn’t believe their eyes, their daughter was leaping and smiling and running straight towards them. “I will never be sad again,” she cried! “I will wait for my time again to see Allah.”

The King and Queen supplied the Demon with enough food and money to last a lifetime. They didn’t know how he did it, but he had made their daughter happy and that is all they could ever ask for.

But morning drew near at this farin the story, and Scheherazade fell silent, leaving King Shahryar satisfied and in tears. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and wonderful story!” Scheherazade said, “This is nothing compared with what I will tell you tomorrow night, if the king spares me and lets me live. It will be even more exciting and entertaining than that story.” The King thought, “I will spare her until  tomorrow night for i am amased with her ability to tell stories. Then I will have my men kill her the next day.”

the end

Grace I thought this story was engaging and follows the story arc well. You should work on proofreading your work- make sure that things are grammatically correct and you are using punctuation correctly. (Using quotation marks for example.) I also think you could have used stronger vocabulary throughout the piece. For example, you should try to avoid the word “got” when writing.

I really liked the unicorn tapestries because they were very detailed and they didn’t look very old. How did they keep is so preserved? It connects to social studies because it was freemen hunting with deer, hawks and dogs. The freemen had to use swards and bow and arrows to hunt the unicorns instead of gun like they do today.

I am proud of my castle drawing because I included all the Defense Mechanisms we learned in class and in all the books/videos we watched. I am proud of all the and time I put into it.  I was really happy with the grade I got so I will include that effort in every thing I do.