Prepare for a Pakistani wedding!

By Phulan

I am just so excited for my wedding! Dadi refuses to let me see Hamir, soon to be my husband he says it’s bad luck. Dadi tells me about his handsome face and his strong muscles, for the last time I saw him was last year at my cousin’s wedding. Dadi says he looks like a whole new man. He says, “He is wild like Shabanu, he loves horses and rides them hard. But he’s insensitive, coming back with his horse lathered and breathing heavy. He is handsome and tall like me, and impatient, a dreamer.”

When Dadi and Shabanu went to the Sibi Fair, they brought me back a brand new chador. I assume it is for me to wear during the wedding. The only thing that mama and all the woman talk about is about “dresses and bangles.” Shabanu worries for me, she says that mama never talks about “Hamir or how I should behave towards Hamir’s mother after wedding is over and we all are living together.” 

Hamir and his family are building a cottage for me and him to live in. It is just like any other farm house only its mine. Meanwhile the hot summer days are spent by weaving and dyeing turbands for the men. We make dresses for all the woman in Hamir’s family.

How to get over the death of a family member

By Phulan

When Grandfather died we spent most of our time praying. He had wished to be buried in Derawar in a specific grave yard so he could meet with his brothers who fought in the war with him. Dadi says that Allah would have kept him on earth if it was necessary. He says that it was meant to be, and even if he says he is not very sad I can tell he is really grieving. The first step every one goes through is denial. The first step is one of the worst and last longer than the others. The only way to get ride of denial is to convince your self that life will go on and to GET OVER IT! The second phase is sadness, and I know that, that may seem obvious, but when you are in denial, your thinking and wishing that it never happened. The third step is revenge. even though Grandfather died in a sand storm, Dadi wants to blame someone. I know from experience that its easier to blame someone, instead of it being an accident. And once you have finished al three phases, they all come back at once giving you sadness, denial, and revenge. We all helped him and each other work through our emotions, me mommy and Dadi crying the most. So if you want to ever got over the grief of a family member dying there is only one thing to do…get help from the people who love you the most!