During this self study, I noted that I wanted to think about the following questions:

• What pleasant surprises did I discover this week? 
• What lessons did my work teach me that I could build upon next week?
• What could I have spent more or less time doing?
• How did fear and uncertainty affect what I did or didn’t do?
• Are there any new opportunities for growth? How do I feel about that?
• In this moment in time, what do I notice about my own learning and teaching?
• What motivates me to take risks? What is my reaction to this change?

When I reviewed the entries I made in my journal, I noticed a few different things. First, I noticed that there were many pleasant surprises when I allowed myself the time and space to reflect on both my practice (choices I made for myself and/or the children) and my feelings in those moments.

I have spent a significant amount of time intentionally building a sense of community in the classroom where all identities feel seen and valued. As I looked through my entries, I noticed that making difficult choices with scheduling can be challenging for myself and for teachers in general. I decided early on that I would take risks and do whatever it took to try to meet the needs of everyone in my space, including the adults. It’s one thing to discuss with children how they can and should interact with each other in a community, but it is also important to provide the space to do so. That said, I decided that frequent trips outside to the Houston Ball field, as well as to the roof, would provide them with opportunities to practice and develop social skills after being in separate spaces for the past two years during the pandemic. I decided early on that SEL and DEIJ learning, both intertwined, would lay the groundwork for all to feel seen in a way that would encourage risk taking on a consistent basis. The outcome was incredible. By providing them with ample unexpected space, there were children playing organized games on their own, collaborating together to create dance pieces, laughing and joy. 

Second, I noticed I felt good about the choices that I made. I didn’t feel like I had to rationalize the “why” to myself or anyone else. I didn’t question or hesitate in my decision of why it was important to go out during a time when we usually don’t go out. Lastly, I felt good about the decision to respond to the needs of the children and take a risk and go out. We then used the time upon our return to talk about what worked and what we might do differently next time. 

Moving forward, I don’t want to be in a place where I feel I need to “overthink” decisions that I make. In taking risks, I am showing myself that I am capable of making informed decisions based on best practices that will elevate the children and myself. I want to trust my inner voice and know that there will be bumps along the way. I have noticed that this mindset has also carried over into my personal life. Before this project began, I would have never slid down a mountain backwards! I just kept saying to myself, “just do it”. I have noticed that there is always this initial fear and then once it is done, I feel so proud of myself for making the choice to just try. Overthinking decisions does not bring me joy.

The choices that I have made in regards to my own health and teaching have made me feel surprisingly reinvigorated. Through this work, I have found myself having more opportunities to brainstorm what I need and what motivates me as a teacher and learner. As a result of this project experience, I am now looking for other opportunities to grow as a learner and educator. I would like to use the skills that I have developed to help mentor other educators. A goal for myself is to focus on seeking out opportunities that will allow me to assist in further developing the mentoring program at LREI or establish a Critical Friends Group.