Here is a list of some things that we came up with individually on which we want to work:

  • Feeling good doing things alone
  • Be more helpful to others around me
  • Work on being friendlier
  • Be more polite
  • Being more popular with kids my age
  • Making more friends
  • Resisting pressure from friends/peers
  • Having a good reputation
  • Build stronger relationships with teachers
  • Not talking too much
  • Working with others
  • Talking to others
  • Knowing if someone is serious or not
  • Getting along with influential students
  • Expressing my feelings
  • Being without my parents
  • Calling someone I want to know better
  • Having a best friend
  • Improving my image
  • Understanding the effects of my actions
  • Being able to settle arguments peacefully
  • Doing what I want to do
Here is a ranking of somethings we said we might try individually to work on these areas of challenge?
  • Goal Setting — 13 — Think about what you want to accomplish socially – such as maybe having just a few close friends – and then find ways to meet those goals.
  • Self-Coaching —  12 — Develop a voice inside of you that keeps reminding you of your social weaknesses and strengths when you’re with other people (for example, it might say, “Don’t be shy,” or DOn’t hog this conversation,” or “Don’t act too tough with these folks.”) Let this voice help you to make better social decisions.
  • Using Your Strengths — 12 — Think about your strengths and about what you can do for others. then develop some relationships by collaboration and altruism – helping others with your knowledge or your abilities. Use your strengths to reach out to potential good friends.
  • Experimenting — 9 — Think of new ways you could seem, talk, or act. Write these down and try them out. Then observe how they’re affecting others and how they make you feel.
  • Interest Sharing — 8 — Find others who have interests like yours and get into activities with them that you enjoy. Build social cognition while having fun.
  • Confiding — 7 – Talk with a friend, brother, sister, or someone else you can trust about different social life challenges and the best ways to handle them.
  • Counseling — 7 — Find an adult you can trust and see if that person can give you social advice and coaching.
  • Evaluating — 5 — Find some kids who are having social problems and try to figure out what they are doing wrong and whether you’re doing the same things. Then think about how they (and maybe you!) should be trying to make changes in seeming, talking, or acting right.
  • Modeling — 3 — Spy on some kid(s) who you think are close to the way you would like to be socially to see how they see, talk, and act (what is it they do right). try out some of their ways.
  • Record Keeping — 3 — Maintain a social diary. Each night review the day’s important social events and describe how you did with your social challenges. Then write about what you might do differently next time. Rate your success daily.
What are some things that we can do as a community to support each other as peers try to get better at these things? What can/should happen quietly? What can happen more publicly?
We already know that a big part of being successful socially is having friends and knowing something about friendship and how it’s supposed to work. In what ways are friendship and popularity different?  What are some other things that you get from being part of a group? How do we decide what group to be in?

Peer pressure is the pressure to seem, talk and act a certain way, a way that fits with what others expect from you. Sometimes kids put pressure on each other on purpose and sometimes it just happens. What if you don’t happen to agree with or like what others want you to be?

There are a lot of different ways to be normal in middle school. Everyone has a right to be different — as long as it’s not harmful to them or anyone else. Kids often experiment with or try different ways of fitting in. Some of these experiments are safe and others have too high a price to pay for fitting in.

Consider any of the question above and or the topics addresses in chapter 2 and leave a comment. Try to add on or reply to comments that have already been left. You can start your response with something like, “I agree with this idea because,” “I see things differently,” “This makes me think that,” or “Another example of this is . . .”