My First Time Story

This is a piece I wrote about snowboarding for the first time. Julia said that we could add a little bit of fiction so I did. I actually got lost, but I didn’t get really hurt when I fell. I don’t love this piece, but I don’t hate it. I like that I explained how I was feeling a lot. I don’t like that it has two conflicts. I would improve it by taking out the part where I fall and get really hurt because that didn’t happen in the first place. I thought that it would make my piece better, but it made it worse. 

I clipped into the snowboard and I was off, or at least I thought I was off. I actually fell on my face. I felt my uncle’s hand on my back. I looked up at him. He was wearing green snow pants and a red jacket. “Are you okay?” He asked me. “Yeah I’m fine.” I replied. My uncle motioned for me to grab his pole, so I did. He hoisted me back up to my feet and pulled me over to the magic carpet that brings people back up to the top of the bunny hill. My cousin didn’t fall on her face so she kept boarding all the way to the green hill with my aunt. When I got back to the top of the hill, I felt my legs start to shake. I knew that when I fell I didn’t get hurt, but I also knew that I could. I guess my uncle saw it on my face because he asked me what was wrong. “I’m fine, I’m totally fine” I said. “Ready to try again?” He asked in a soothing voice. “Yes” I answered.

My uncle gave me a push to get me going. I tightened my legs to stop them from shaking. I put my arms out to the side to help me balance. I imagined myself being an amazing snowboarder. That was when I realized I was on the green hill. “I’m doing it!” I yelled to my uncle. The only problem was my uncle wasn’t there. I felt my body hit the snow. Where could he be? I thought to myself. I felt a tear drip down my pink cheek. I decided to ask somebody for help. I saw a group of kids from ski school coming down the mountain. I couldn’t stand up so I had to wave the instructor down. The instructor had long blonde hair, red snow pants, and a blue ski jacket that said Beaver Creek, Colorado. It took a while, but eventually she saw me waving and came over to help. “I can’t find my uncle.” I said while more tears dripped down my cheeks. “It’s Okay. I will take you to the bottom of the mountain with my ski group and then we can take it from there.” She said. That calmed me down. “I’m Katy by the way.” She said.

Katy helped me up and gave me a little push just like my uncle had before. I fell a couple times, but it was okay because Katy helped me up. About halfway down the hill, I saw a man with green snow pants and a red jacket. “Uncle Adam?!” I yelled. The man turned around to look at me. I felt myself fill up with relief when I saw that it was indeed my uncle. “There you are. I have been looking for you everywhere” he said when he saw me. I thanked Katy for her help and snowboarded over to my uncle. I guess neither of us wanted to discuss what had happened because we didn’t talk about it.

I felt the cold snow hit my back. My uncle gave me his pole and pulled me back up my feet. I couldn’t catch my balance so I held on to his pole. “Emma you need to let go of my pole. I am going to fall.” He said very seriously. I tried really hard to pull my hand away, but I couldn’t. I needed his pole to balance and I didn’t want to fall. BOOM! First my back then my head hit the hard snow. Then there was a lot of weight on my stomach. I couldn’t breathe. That was probably the scariest moment of my life. I remember thinking this is the end. It happened so fast that my brain didn’t have time to react. I figured out that I was ok when I felt the weight leave my stomach. I saw a big shadow come over me. “Emma, are you okay?” “Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” “Do you need me to take her to the bottom?” “Let me carry her” “Does she need help?” I heard a lot of words echo through my ears. I tried to stand  up, but I just fell down. I felt my body leave the snow. Someone must be carrying me I thought.

After a couple of minutes I was finally able to get some words out of my mouth. “I I I a a am am f fi fi fin fine.” I blurted out. I wondered who was carrying me. It can’t be my uncle, he doesn’t smell like tuna fish. Nothing was really hurting me, but the world was spinning. “I need help!” The person who was carrying me yelled. I stopped smelling tuna. My uncle’s familiar smell filled my lungs. I think he was carrying me over to the paramedics. I thought I was fine so I kicked and squirmed. He let me down. My feet hit the ground hard. I took a step. The world slowly stopped spinning. After a couple of minutes I could see clearly again. “I’m fine now,” I said to my uncle. “Good!” He replied. “I am really sorry about letting you fall,” he said after a few seconds of silence. “It’s okay. It was my fault.” I answered. “Let’s get you some hot chocolate.” He said in a soothing voice. “Yay!” I said excitingly.