Take a look back at your essential question. Did you answer it? Do you think that question was a good frame for your Senior Project? If not, how would you phrase that question now?
The COVID-19 version of my essential question was, “How can I share my excitement about learning with a wider audience (through podcasting)?” The podcasting component became more loosely interpreted as time went on, and I started focusing less on less on the excitement part per se, as I was dealing with the ennui of being stuck inside indefinitely during a pandemic and the uncertainty that accompanied that. I started focusing more on the teaching component, so what I would do is that I would go I would learn about something or I’d research something for a week, and then after I would make a presentation or record an episode and try to explain it to my listeners. I think looking back at it I would try instead to zero in on the technical and the practical skills so maybe something more accurate would be, “How can I better express myself to my audience?”
You had a sense of what you would learn and do during Senior Project. Did you have to adjust your expectations?
Yes. Both the initial project, wherein I was supposed to have greater breadth of mobility in researching communication, and the current iteration wherein a number of extenuating circumstances, both personal and technological, forced me to adjust how I approached my project. I think I had to be a lot easier on myself, because the circumstances both on a macro and microlevel were not “fair” — there was no way I could operate at my absolute best. I had to say, “You’re not going to be able to get as much done as you thought you would and that’s fine. You can get this really big presentation on this super dense topic done then, ‘what can you explain to yourself? What do you understand of the topic? How would you word it to others?’ and we’ll just go from there.” I was a lot less harsh about time and elected to just get my work done first and foremost.
Did you meet your goal(s) for Senior Project? Explain in detail.
I feel like, along the way, while I carried out the form of my project, the spirit was lost. but that’s not something that I felt like I was able to control because the spirit is like, how can I feel excited about something when there’s so many horrible things going on around the same time in everything that I would normally be over the moon and talking about just feel so banal and empty. I carried out my project to the best of my ability, even when there were circumstances limiting me at home and in general. I feel a little sad about the way that my senior project had to change in both iterations, but I think it’s fine. I was able to practice some things, I was able to get a little bit of my original project back, so I think I’m satisfied with where I am right now. I don’t necessarily regret what I’ve been able to accomplish in these circumstances.
What challenges did you face throughout your project? How did you overcome those challenges?
Without going into too much depth, a lot of things happened all at the same time. My mother had contracted coronavirus, which marked the onset of problems. A lot of mental health things were going on both in my life and for the people around me, so I had to worry about that. I had a lot of interpersonal conflicts that came with being stuck with only the same people, for an indeterminate amount of time that kept getting extended longer and longer. Technologically, I lost a save file, it got corrupted so the weekly episode was gone. I lost about four hours worth of raw audio. I also ended up losing all four years of the data on my phone, and I only got some of it back. I wasn’t really able to use my computer because I was worried that like, I wouldn’t be able to recover anything. There’s a lot of things that were going on at home that were really overwhelming because they all happened at the same time. Additionally, the format of doing work at home really doesn’t suit me and who I am as a learner. Normally, in order to learn or process, I need another person. I’m not really good at monologuing. But I had to find ways around it. I talked with my cohort leader and my advisor. We talked about new guidelines that I could be using instead. I also met with the Learning Center, and tried to include more people in my project. I think it got easier as I was able to adjust.
What risks did you take, especially for those who created a product? How did those risks pay off?
The whole project was kind of a risk because I’m not good at extended speech/monologuing. That’s just not my forte. I ended up finding a happy medium in presentations, which gave me something visual to focus on and use as a guideline rather than fully audio. Additionally, I picked hard topics. I kind of threw myself into it headfirst, which I had to l roll back later on. I gave myself really hard topics to research because those were things I found interesting, but I also didn’t really know how to use all the tech, but I also only gave myself a limited amount of time to learn a new medium. Switching format from podcasts to presentations became a lot easier for me. I then found ways to have fun within that so that was like a nice return to the original with my project.
What growth or understanding did you experience through Senior Project? How has the experience changed you, or your concept of yourself? Consider skills, attitudes, habits, resources, capabilities,, etc. Are you more confident of your abilities?
I know more about how to just talk. I rely on a system called otter.ai that really helps with capturing my thoughts and allowing me to be free form, so even if I’m unable to talk at someone, I’m able to talk through it. I also have a surprising knack for editing, coming from someone who’s technologically challenged. I know a bit more about my limits as a learner and how I can better accommodate that.
What surprises did you experience? What were the unexpected moments of learning or experience?
The communication I was envisioning wasn’t the communication I got. I went into it thinking I was going to talk without it being too quick and fast too follow, but it started to look more like moderation and diplomacy skills.
What questions has Senior Project raised for you? (Personal, institutional, philosophical, global, etc.)
I keep thinking about what might my project have look like if I was actually able to do the things that I wanted. How might my understanding of communication have changed if I was able to pursue it in the way that I intended to pursue it— by interacting with a number of different people, rather than just an internal monologue made external.
Has your Senior Project experience influenced your future planning in terms of work, education, or the development of personal interests?
I wanted to use my senior project to practice my different forms of communication skills and looking at different careers. Do I really want to go into speech language pathology? Maybe I wanted to be a speech writer. It would have given me a chance to look at all the professions I had been considering, and get some hands-on experience before I decided whether or not they were for me. That didn’t happen. For better or for worse, I’m still going into it blind. I’ve been set back a lot. I’m probably going to try and find ways to make up for it like in college but it leaves a little bit of a bitter taste in my mouth that I wasn’t able to do what I wanted.
When you reflect on the entire process, of what are you most proud? Least?
I think I’m most proud of my ability to keep it together. Honestly, I already knew going into it that a ‘from home’ model was not optimized for my learning skill set. I can’t do ‘not being able to go to a physical location’; it really impacted my productivity. Having all this other stuff happening at the same time added to that. I feel most proud of the fact that I was able to get through it and I was able to take care of myself. I don’t really feel a sense of least proud, just a profound sense of tiredness and a little bit of comfort in that it’s almost over.
What would you do differently if you could do Senior Project again?
I think I’d be a lot less wound up about it. I would tell myself, “You know you can take it easy, right? You can take it a little easier.” I was putting so much stress on myself, and it would have just been fine if I simply relaxed a little bit. You don’t have to be so wound up about it.
What was the hardest aspect of the Senior Project process and experience? Most rewarding?
The circumstances weren’t optimized for my success. I didn’t have the best environment to work with. The most rewarding part is the fact that I know that it’s almost over. It felt like each week I was just taking it one step at a time. I didn’t know what was gonna happen but I managed to get through it.
What is the one thing you want your audience to learn or understand from your presentation on Senior Project Evening?
As long as you’re actually listening to your audience, you’re halfway there. The most difficult part of communication is that people don’t want to listen (both to the issue and the other person’s needs). Communication is about respecting the other person, and that means respecting the ways in which they need to communicate. If they’re not making eye contact with you, it’s not about you, it’s just that they find it uncomfortable to make eye contact. Maybe they just can’t. Another thing is, if you don’t listen, they will make you listen. You have to give in order to get or expect to receive. Listening to your needs means you listen to mean, which sounds transactional, but isn’t entirely wrong. Also, you need to clearly define the terms that you’re using and the ways you’re using them. This is more interpersonal but for example, respect. If you’re in an argument with a parent, or a boss, or superior of some sort, respect as an authority figure is not the same as respect as a human being. Some people use those two senses of respect interchangeably and that’s not really fair because both people should expect respect as a human being. Only when that has been established can anybody reasonably expect to be respected as an authority figure. You need to extend respect and kindness and a willingness to listen to your other audience. As long as people understand that, then it’s fine, like you’re probably going to figure it out, and any problems that come up, you can resolve because that baseline has been established.
How might you demonstrate your learning?
I think I would like to demonstrate it by talking about the mistakes that I made. Or perhaps what I learned through the “monster of the week” type of approach that I took to my podcasting and presentations. I’m a little more shaky on demonstration of my learning, because it’s something that’s so personal or so small scale so as to be only applicable on a personal level.