On February 18, my group (consisting of Bay, Skyler, Jaquie, and myself) interviewed Nigel Barker. Nigel is a former model and a photographer, and a spokesperson for HeForShe and Girl Up. Both these organizations are part of the UN. The goal of HeForShe is to encourage men to stand up and be a voice for equality for women and Girl Up is an organization that encourages girls to stand up for other girls and start to change the world. Nigel joined both these organizations in order to show that women and girls weren’t the only ones who could fight for these rights; he showed that men could stand up and fight as well.
Nigel shared his opinions about the name HeForShe, and he believes that it should be called WeForWe, because we are standing up for each other, and that it shouldn’t just be men standing up for women. He also talked to us about how he doesn’t like the word ‘feminist’. He told us about how words like ‘feminist’ discriminate against men, when the whole reason is to fight for equality. “It’s not a feminist issue, it’s a humanist issue.” However, Nigel also believes there is no such thing as equal, because men and women are all different; everyone is different.
Nigel described some of the most influential women in his life, and those women included his mother and grandmother. He explained how his mother allowed him to play with dolls when he was younger, when she was pregnant with her younger sister, and that he changed it’s diaper, fed it, and when his sister got the measles, he got a blue marker and drew spots all over the doll, but when his sister recovered, he couldn’t take the dots off, so the doll went away. He also talked about his grandmother, who was the first woman to drive a car in Sri Lanka, she cut her hair short, which was unusual because women kept their hair long because it was beautiful, and she was kicked out of the house because she was going against what her family was used to, as well as going against society’s norms, and she went on to marry a white man. Nigel talked about how his grandmother realized she was the only one doing these things but she believed it was the right think to do, and that society’s norms weren’t fair, and that she instilled fairness into him.
“Because I think people are scared of stepping out of the stereotype,” was Nigel’s response to the question of why people had different opinions on what young boys and girls should be interested in. People are scared that their kids won’t fit in and he told us that people like to be in groups and be part of “everyone”. He told us that he believed that religion and fashion are all about groups and that because of these groups, we are constantly pigeon-holing ourselves and holding ourselves to one thing. One of the most impactful things that Nigel said was that the mind set many people were in is that once a woman has a child, she is expected to stay home, but if she works, she is going to be considered subordinate because she doesn’t have enough time. This really impacted me because it made me realize that I didn’t want to be thought of subordinate, that I would and should be viewed as equals to men.
