Throughout the whole year in Humanities, we have spent a lot of time writing all different kinds of writing pieces. I wrote a lot that I’m proud of, but there is one that I really worked hard on and I am very proud of it. I am very proud of it because I think it has a lot of description. It also showed improvement in my writing, because I usually describe every little thing, but this time I think I only described everything where the description was important to the story. Here is my piece:
“For homework, read pages 68 through 98 of Pride and Prejudice,” Ms. Clarkson said. Zoe was holding her breath and looking at the clock. Zoe has thick and straight dark brown hair. Her eyes are light blue. Today, she is wearing a lime green dress with a thick fabric. She is wearing her favorite glossy red Doc Martens. Right then, it was 3:14 and 48 seconds. Right before Ms. Clarkson was about to assign more homework, the loud bell rang. Zoe’s bag was already ready, filled with all her notebooks and folders, so that she doesn’t forget anything. When the bell rang, Zoe threw on her coat and sprinted out the door. She ran through the large hallway with all the lockers, and through the door leading outside to the park. When she was outside, she smiled when she felt the crisp fall air. She jogged out the park fence, and down the narrow sidewalk.
The colored trees made Zoe smile. The sunlight illuminated them and made them glow. Her feet clattered along the cobblestone road as she jogged, and stopped clattering when she got back on the sidewalk. She went on this way for around fifteen minutes until she got to the coffee shop. She ran inside, and saw tall Tom. She ran up to the cash register.
“Would you like your usual of hot cocoa with extra whipped cream?” Tall tom asked.
“Yes please!” Zoe exclaimed. Zoe watched as Tall Tom mixed in the Hershey’s cocoa powder and the hot milk. Then Tall Tom passed Zoe the can of whipped cream, and hot cocoa. Tall Tom always let Zoe do the whipped cream. Zoe squirted the whipped cream onto her hot cocoa. Zoe passed Tall Tom the whipped cream after she was done.
“3.75,” Tall Tom said. Zoe payed and put 1 dollar in the tip jar.
“Bye!” Zoe yelled as she was leaving.
“Bye!” Tall Tom said back. Zoe managed to run and drink her hot cocoa at the same time. She slurped it down in three huge gulps. After she drank all of her hot cocoa, Zoe walked up to a jewelry store. She looked through the window at one of those manikin necks, and on it hung half of a heart that said best friend on it. She walked into the store, and heard the bell on the top of the door ding. A woman with dirty blonde hair and piercing blue eyes stood at the register. Besides her, there was nobody else in the small store.
“How can I help you?” the woman asked.
“Can I please see your half heart necklaces please?” exclaimed Zoe. The woman held out six necklaces. Each were halves of a heart. There was one pair made of bronze, one pair made of silver and one pair made of gold. Zoe chose the one made of gold. The lady held both of the halves, and put one of the halves in its own velvet box.
“Do you want a box for the other one?” the woman asked.
“No thanks, that one’s for me. I’m giving one to my friend for her birthday, and keeping one so that we could each have half.”
“When’s your friend’s birthday?” the woman asked not very excitedly.
“Tonight, so I’ve gotta get there quick.”
“In that case, I’d better give you your necklaces.” the lady said, this time more excitedly. After she payed, Zoe went sprinting out the door and heard the bell as she was leaving. It was shocking how cold it was outside compared to how warm the shop was. Next stop, home, Zoe said to herself as she was leaving. She ran to her apartment building and poked her key in the slot. When she came in, it smelled like something cooking. She saw her mom standing at the kitchen counter, stirring pasta sauce. Her dad and sister were playing scrabble, her dad obviously winning. Zoe paced into her room, and picked up an orange backpack. She packed pjs, clothes, a toothbrush, toothpaste and a hairbrush. After she finished packing, she calmly walked into the living room.
“Hi Mom,” Zoe said as she collapsed on a comfy green chair.
“Hi sweetie,” Her mom exclaimed, obviously preoccupied with adding the rigatoni to the marinara sauce. Zoe took the necklace that was in the box, and placed it on the table, next to her half of the necklace and tried to piece them together. After she pieced them together, she walked to the kitchen, necklaces in hand and dipped a finger in the pasta sauce to try it.
“Very good,” Zoe said with a satisfying look on her face.
“Am I allowed to go to Bridgette’s party by myself?” Zoe asked.
“I’m not sure…” said her mom.
“C’mon mom, it’s three blocks away.”
“Do you even know the way there?”
“Yes! I’ve walked there with you a million times!”
“Fine, but be careful crossing the street.” Her mom gave in.
“THANK YOU SO MUCH!!” Zoe screamed as she kissed her mom goodbye.
Zoe picked up her backpack and sprinted out the door and went back into the refreshing air. In the park right outside of Bridgette’s house, Zoe sat on one of the benches to check her phone. It read 3:12. 3 minutes until the party. She decided to look at the necklace again. She reached in the bag that she received from the store to put the necklaces in, but they weren’t there.
Zoe flashbacked to when she walked into her house. She remembered walking into her house, necklaces in hand. When she came home, she tried to piece her necklaces together. Then she went to try her mom’s homemade tomato sauce, with her necklaces in her hand. Then she left.
“Okay, so I had them when I came in, and then I had them when I pieced them together, then I tried the tomato sauce, and left. Oh no. OH NO!!! THEY LANDED IN THE TOMATO SAUCE!” Everyone in the park started staring at her, and she realized that everyone in the park just heard her. She sprinted back home, her hair blowing around in her face. When she got home, there were bowls of pasta on the table, each plate with tons of tomato sauce, drowning the pasta.
“Why did you come back home? Did you leave your toothbrush?”
“No. I think I dropped the necklaces in the tomato sauce.”
“What? I just put all of the tomato sauce on the pasta. When did they fall in the tomato sauce?
“When I came over to taste it.”
“Oh no.” Zoe’s mom said.
“Oh no.”
Five minutes later, Zoe, her dad, her sister and her mom were all scooping through the pasta, looking for the necklace. Even though there were only three bowls, there was a lot of pasta to be checked.
