Arabian Nights story/ Revision

Revision is the final tweaks that change a story from good to outstanding. Revision is smoothing out the bumps in a carpet turning it from a story somebody wants to like to a story that people actually like. It makes the story great and basically is one of the most important steps in writing. Think of it like every piece of writing before revision is like a very long outline and after you have revised it is a story.

 

Before we made this story we read the book Arabian Nights. Then we took themes from the book and wrote our own chapters.

ARABIAN NIGHTS STORY:

 Long ago in Arabia in the town Petzi there lived a king named Abdul. He had a wife and a sprouting boy at the young age of 16. Abdul was generous to his people, but when it came to his family he was cruel and draconian. His wife, Kamma, was a quiet women that made little to no decisions for the family. But Abdul’s son Abbas was brave, stout and handsome. He was a good student well mannered and very active. Unfortunately Abdul was jealous of Abbas’ growing power and felt threatened by him. So he pushed his dreams down and ignored Abbas. One day, during a leisurely nap Abbas was having, he saw a silhouette of a group of what seemed to be small children. When the creatures got closer he recognised them from the fairy tails. They were the 99 red demands of Petzi. They protected the town from any rath allah might have against the town. They visited people’s dreams and told them how to make up for their sins. They red demons came to Abbas. Abbas said,” my kind demons, why have you come to me. Have I sined?”

”No.” What seemed to be the head demon declared, “but your father has. He has disobeyed the 5 pillars of Islam and shall be punished if he not fix his mistakes.

“ May I ask what pillar my father has disobeyed?”

”The zakat. Not once in his life has he given a scent to charity.”

“Oh no. I truly am so sorry for my father’s disobedience.” Abbas said, what does he have to do to fix his mistakes?”

“For the next 99 days a beggar will come. Every day your father must put 99 coins in a bag and leave it outside the palace. “

“What is the consequence if he does not follow these steps?”

“Allah will slaughter both your mother and father!” Abbas told his father what the Demons had said and Abdul immediately refused. Abbas pleaded, but still Abdul said no.  Abbas ran into his room wailing for 3 days. Finally his mother snuck the money out of Abdul’s money cellar and cautiously gave it to Abbas. He was overjoyed and hid the money under his bed. the next day Abdul found the coins and was furious. But morning approached and Sheherazad ended her story. the next night she said oh happy king this is what Abdul did to Abbas and Kamma.

 

Abdul was so enraged that he threw both Abbas and Kamma in the town jail. Abbas was used to having lavish and expensive item, but when he saw the jail he was shocked. The walls were made of hard stone, the beds were stained with the blood of the sick, and the bathrooms where in the middle of the room with no walls for privacy. Abbas was appalled. His mother on the other hand had lived a life as the daughter of a poor merchant in Medina. She slept in the same bed with her 6 sisters until she was 16 and was married to the king. After a few days abbas and Kamma decided to introduce themselves to the other inmates. After a few people Abbas ran into a demon. His scales had the same rigid patterns as the red demons. He also had the same doll like head and short stubby legs as the red demons. Abbas introduced himself and the demon said with with a peppy amount of surprise of surprise,”are you the prince!”

“Why yes.” Abbas exclaimed, “and this is the queen.” Abbas swiftly grabbed a hand out to Kamma and pulled her out of a conversation that she was having with another inmate. The demon hollard a stout hello and then asked why the prince and queen were in a jail cell. Abbas explained and asked why the demon was in jail. The demon explained how he was part of the red demon pack and was the 100th demon. He explained how Abdul had locked him in the cell for stealing 2 dollars from one of Abdul’s guards. The red demon explained how he could help kamma and Abbas.

“ You first need to tell Abdul this story. It will open his heart and he will surely want to follow the Zakat. Long ago there lived a rich man named Bagni N. He lived in the heart of Mecca in the grandest house. He was cruel and hated children but his worst sin was that he followed none of the 5 pillars of Islam. One day in the month of Ramadan when he was waiting for the call of prayer he heard a sound. It was coins. He rushed out of his house looking for where the coins were coming from. When he saw a group of people laughing and throwing their gold coins in a big pile. He asked one of the men what this madness was, and the man answered, “Well it’s the monthly charity service. We do it once a month following the customary zakat rules. We all take 20 coins from our monthly prophet and we put it in the moneybag.” Bag Nin smirked and started to walk away until he heard the sweet laughs of the homeless children. Many people were handing them a coin or two and they were jumping up and down. Bagnin looked at them and felt something, Happiness. He ran into his house and grabbed a chest of gold coins. He put it in the town square and let the people take it for themselves.” Abbas thanked the demon for helping them and then forced Abdul into letting him explain what really happened. Abbas told Abdul the story. Abdul’s heart opened and he found every beggar in the city and gave him a sack of gold coins. Abbas and Kamma requested that the 100th demon be let free from the jail and Abdul set him free immediately. Abbas and his family lived a happy Muslim life in the town of Petzi.

I feel as though my Arabian nights story has changed drastically over a very short period. I made a short outline for it but somehow wrote a completely different story. I handed it in and was happy with it but then we got another assignment that was to revise in great detail. Thanks to revision I found that my story was not as good as I thought. I had little to know dialog and skimped through very important parts. After I revised I felt as though I my story is 100 times better.

One comment

  1. Julia Wilson

    This is a good reflection, Liam. It’s always interesting when you think your piece is good but then realize that it could be much stronger with revision.

    Quick editing- In the last paragraph it is “no” not “know.”

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