Dear Uncle Tootsie,
I have noticed my girlfriend and I are becoming more and more distant recently. I don’t know that I’m doing anything different, and she says she’s fine, but I can feel it that things have changed. Any advice?
Lovelost in Lincoln
Dear Lovelost,
Every relationship has its rough moments, but I think you may have answered your own question when you said that you weren’t doing anything different.
Relationships require work, and without that work, they stagnate. It’s quite possible that your lady friend has gotten a little bored with the same old same old and needs something new. When’s the last time you did something exciting or had a night out on the town? Most relationships need more than endless Netflix marathons.
Does she have a hobby? A favorite place to visit? A new restaurant she wants to try? Take her on an adventure, and see how quickly that distant shell cracks.
Of course, as I don’t have a lot of information to go on, it’s possible there are bigger issues at hand. If things still aren’t going the way you want them to, it’s time for a real relationship talk, to make sure you two are on the same page.
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Dear Uncle Tootsie,
My sister is planning her wedding and has become a real bridezilla. She expects all of our family to essentially work as hired help so she and her fiance can pinch pennies on the big day and spring for a lavish honeymoon. We’re all willing to lend a hand, but we also want to enjoy Rachel’s big day. How can I tell her she needs to cool it without causing a nuclear meltdown?
Beleaguered in Boise
Dear Beleaguered,
It’s possible your sister doesn’t even realize that she’s putting you all down. Perhaps she thinks nothing would make you and your family happier than helping her on her big day. However, if you would rather sit at a table than serve one, you need to let her know.
Try to have the conversation one-on-one, if you can; you don’t want your sister to feel like your entire family is ganging up on her. Explain that to her kindly and that you are still willing to help, but in a less controlling and time consuming way. You also want to have time to make memories as a family. That won’t happen if you’re all running around like chickens with your heads cut off.
Be careful though. You don’t want to present problems with no solutions, especially if she’s in bridezilla mode. Suggest ways you and your family can help before the big day instead. Maybe you can all stuff invitation envelopes or meet with caterers. If the major obstacle is the bride’s lack of funds, ask if you could hire some extra help as a wedding gift to her. That way, you could all enjoy her wedding together.
If all else fails, she’s your sister, and your relationship with her is more important than this one day. You might have to do some grinning and bearing, but you’ll make it through.
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Information on Uncle Tootsie:
Uncle Tootsie is a ananymous student in the middle school at LREI. Who can answer any questions you are confused about. If you have a question that you would like answered, send an email to 21sylvieg@lrei..org or 21georgiag@lrei.org and they will forward it to me and it will be in next week’s addition.
