by Betty Fox
Do your parents constantly want to control your life and your choices? Are your parents overly involved in your academic life? These can be signs of helicopter and overbearing parenting. An overbearing parent is one who wants to control their kid’s life choices, according to MedicineNet. Helicopter parents often want to help if their child is going through any inconvenience, making it challenging for kids to learn how to be independent.
The 11 respondents to the form choose to be anonymous for the entirety of the article. Sophomores, juniors, and seniors were more likely to say that their parents or parents are overly involved with their child in an academic setting, while most freshmen who responded said that their parents allow them to make their own decisions and do not intervene with their academics unless it is necessary. One freshman said, “sometimes my parents want to control my life and choices because sometimes they think having a kid gives them a second chance at life. While in reality, I am my own person.” Another said, “As a kid, I would say yes ‘my parents are controlling my life but sometimes I think about how I would feel if my parents didn’t care and just let me do whatever I want, I would feel neglected…”
“What one person calls a helicopter mom or dad, another might simply view as involved parenting,” wrote GoodTherapy. According to the Reading School of Psychology’s study called, Don’t Aim Too High for Your Kids, children of parents who have higher expectations get better grades. “However, when we examined the parents whose aspirations exceeded realistic expectations, children’s academic performance was damaged. This could be due to children experiencing anxiety, low confidence and frustration brought on by pressure from overbearing parents – but more research is needed” said a Reading School researcher. Helicopter parents often exert more control over their child than is developmentally necessary often in an academic context. For example, if a parent wants to write their applications to college, or do their schoolwork for them.
The University of Virginia led a study looking at the issues overbearing parenting creates for children, from education to romantic relationships. The studies involved 184 young people from around Charlottesville with participants aged 13 to 32. Half of the participants were female, and half were male. One of the university researchers named Loeb wrote how “it is very important that parents let kids think for themselves and let them express opinions that are different from their parents. Independence of thought and action in teen-hood makes for a healthier adulthood.”
LREI can not fully change the parenting methods of LREI’s parents. However teachers, mental health counselors, and administrators can lead talks, and lessons for parents on how not to be overbearing. LREI faculty and students can always work hard to create a safe environment for students because we never know everything that is going on at home.