By: Sarah Katz
Authentic. Open-hearted. Sunny. Genuine. Thoughtful. Kind. A passion for life. These are all descriptors members of the LREI community used to characterize Nicholas Cleves a valued member of our own community from Kindergarten through 12th grade. “He was just an incredibly kind person, consistently kind,” remarks Nicholas’ college counselor Carey Socol. “He listened; he wanted to know how you were–authentically. Just a warm sweet guy who felt like a peer very quickly rather than a student…he was a role model of a person and when you lose someone who was so innately good it is just heartbreaking.”
On October 31st, Nicholas Cleves was biking home from Whole Foods where he had picked up avocados for his mother. He headed down the New York City bike path when a truck came barreling down hitting pedestrians in its path. This horrific act of terrorism claimed eight victims that day, one of whom was Nicholas Cleves, a man who means so much to our community. Jacob Farkas, Director of Technology at LREI as well as Nicholas’ employer and friend speaks about how much Nicholas’ passing impacted him. “Nicholas’ death was unpar in terms of grief and the aftermath of how it affected me” said Farkas. “It has to do with a combination of factors. Number one, I’ve known him since he was a kid and I’ve seen him grow up. I was a major part of his life, he really really liked me and I really liked him. We had many shared interests and we did great work together. Second, the way how he died, in a terror attack that had, relatively speaking, few deaths. This was so upsetting. Out of the 8 and a half million New Yorkers he was the one on the bike path at that time. It brings up the question why him?”
School director Phil Kassen watched Nicholas grow up during his many years at LREI and saw how Nicholas became a great friend, not just to teachers but to all. “His senior page in the yearbook is a whole page of little pictures he had with every other kid in the class” said Kassen. “This truly shows how he was everybody’s friend. I think they felt, and I think the teachers saw this too, that when he was in the room there was this kind presence there that affected everybody.”
A couple of weeks after October 31st, Nicholas’ mother told Kassen something that he believed showed how special Nicholas was. “She told me that if Nicholas had bumped into the person who killed him in a deli, he would have struck up a conversation because he was truly interested in speaking with everybody. I don’t think there are a lot of people like that.”
Nicholas’ 5th grade math teacher Ana Chaney still remembers Nicholas and the lasting impact he had on her now, over ten years later. Over email, she recalls one of the fondest memories she had of him. “Nicholas saw me twirling a pencil between my fingers once and it became a thing we talked about. He researched competitive pen-twirling (yes, that’s a thing!) and even taught himself some I think. It was just one example of how genuine and connected he was. I’m sure he had a little inside joke, a little running conversation with every person he knew. It was real and fun and effortless. He was never too busy for that connection, never in too bad a mood. He reached out unfailingly, unselfishly. With a smile, or an anecdote. Every time. We could all be more like that. And the world would be a better place.”
Nicholas’ advisor for the 2007-2008 school year Leila Sinclaire over email explains how at a young age she already saw big things for Nicholas’ future. “Nicholas was an engineer, an inventor, a visionary—he was going to build something for the world that we need … [he] was big-eyed and shaggy-haired like a Golden Retriever puppy. He was friendlier than most boys his age, more open and innocent. He was goofy and deeply kind.”
Another lower school teacher, Harriet Lieber also cared for Nicholas. “Nicholas was one of the kindest, gentlest, most genuinely nice people that I have ever known,” Lieber said over email. “He was a goofy kid who loved to be silly. A loyal friend. Smart … I will miss his cheerful good nature and the exuberance with which he always greeted me every time we passed on the street.”
After graduating from Skidmore college, Nicholas came back to work part-time in the technology department at LREI. Therefore, he was constantly in the building and got to speak with his teachers, some of them now his colleagues, on a monthly basis. High school math teacher Sergei Mikhelson recalls how his relationship with Nicholas turned into a friendship when Nicholas came back to work at the school. “He would always stop by, he would ask about math here, about the students, what they were learning, he was just genuinely interested in what was going on” said Mikhelson, “He was a great colleague, he was a great person to talk with and to work with and to have around, if not as a close friend then as meaningful person.”
Farkas also developed a close relationship with Nicholas. Starting when Nicholas was in seventh grade they became increasingly close through the years. Just like Mikhelson, their friendship grew when Nicholas came back to work alongside Farkas.“I was here for 11 years and there are very few students who I talked to that much, there were some but he took the cake, especially our work relationship as well,” said Farkas. “He would ask me little questions because he was comfortable to talk to me at the level … As a dad, and I don’t have kids that age yet, but Nicholas gave me kind of a preview of what I want our relationship to look like when my kids get older.
Tenth-grade dean and high school history teacher Thomas Murphy still misses Nicholas. “When somebody dies young, it is always a shock and a loss and it is a cliche to describe the person you lost as really kind and nice but those cliches, they were actually true for Nicholas. I think the world is sadder without him.”
Nicholas loved technology and took every single class high school media arts teacher Stephen MacGillivray offered. Throughout the years they developed a close relationship and a tradition surrounding every school break. “He used to do this one thing before we had a break, winter, spring, Thanksgiving, he would always want to shake my hand so wherever I was in the building he would always stop me and shake my hand and say have a nice break” remembered MacGillivray. “He would ask, can I have a hug and I would say no, no hugs until you graduate. And then when he graduated we hugged. I always liked that he would want to do that.”
Nicholas’ middle school French teacher Sharyn Hahn still remembers Nicholas’ great personality. “He was very upbeat and optimistic. Love his smile” Hahn said over email. “I saw him recently at school and he gave me a BIG hug and smile. He was a passionate learner- learned Italian because he wanted to” She also remembers buying berets with Nicholas in Paris on their eighth-grade trip. “He was so excited and wore the beret EVERYWHERE after that!”
Weeks after October 31st, many in the LREI community, like Sergei Mikhelson, still remember their last conversation with Nicholas. “A couple weeks before everything happened I was talking to him because he was developing some software and he showed it to me and there was actually some math behind it, math that could be understood by sophomores” recalls Mikhelson. “So I actually asked him if he was willing to come to my 10th-grade class to talk about the software and what math he used and how he as a professional uses math. He was very excited about that and we were about to meet and start planning this visit but that, unfortunately, did not happen…the fact that it was the last conversation I will have with Nicholas will make me remember it for a long time.”
Phil Kassen says that his last conversation with Nicholas is something he will always carry with him. “The Saturday before he died we were both working here and I was on my way out and saw him, we were the last ones in the building,” said Kassen. “I was going to the Halloween fair and I stopped to chat with him about this really nice mad scientist laboratory his dad had made for the Halloween fair one year and we had this really nice conversation (…) and then I walked off and I never saw him again.”
Mark Bledstein, a high school history teacher who has worked at LREI for 50 years remembers the impact Nicholas made on him. “I treasured Nick’s ever gentle, ever caring and intelligent presence,” said Bledstein over email. “Since Nick’s graduation we often greeted one another with a hug, then, we exchanged thoughts about books, ideas, politics, history, educational experiences. I loved Nick. Nick’s sudden, tragic and senseless death is a profound loss for me personally as it is a profound loss for the entire LREI community.”
Over and over, every teacher, colleague, and friend spoke about how they would miss Nicholas’ contagious positivity. “What I’ll miss most about Nicholas,” said Murphy, “is that he never had a negative word to say about anybody and he always met you with a big smile. He was literally one of the nicest kids I think I have ever taught. Just a genuinely good soul. He was one of those people that when you saw him you felt like smiling too.”