At the start of the year, or even really, before the year began, the questions that framed my self study were fairly general. I have been thinking about how over the past few years, my students have accomplished less in the course of a year. I wondered about my teaching, my approach, my materials, and I wondered about my students learning. Are students coming in with the same ability to learn and are they learning in the same ways as they have in the past? Do I need to do more because they are coming in with less? Do I need to change what I do because they need something different and how people are learning has started to shift in ways that I do not yet fully understand?

Each question that I had for myself gave birth to so many other questions.  This “blossoming” was both exciting as an intellectual exercise, and overwhelming in terms of moving my practice in new directions. The group feedback was helpful in encouraging me to pick one place to direct my focus rather than thinking about how to affect change in a broader way.

Then of course there is the reality of the day to day. Each day, four times a day, I walk into a room of six or seven year olds who need to be taught how to read, spell, write and effectively communicate their thoughts. I can’t push a pause button or isolate a skill. Each day is a whirlwind of both their needs and behaviors and my ability to have an agenda and respond in the moment.

Ultimately, I decided to attempt change where change was most needed. My focus has been on one particular group of students who have been struggling to transition from Kindergarten into the more academic demands of First Grade. It has been difficult to abandon what is considered standard practice and to follow my students lead, and along the way I have had to think of ways to balance meeting their academic needs against what they are able to manage.  My job is to give my students ways to learn things that are difficult for them to learn on their own. I am used to push-back and I am used to resisting resistance. This year I let go and gave in, following the lead of one particular group of students who were not responding well to the pace of my teaching.

A map of my year would show the early months of getting to know my students, the mid year months of trying to work within a more traditional framework, the late winter months of talking to teachers, attending a conference, thinking about student learning in new ways based on information and conversations from the conference, and spring, when I abandoned my plan, attended another conference, brought more new information into my thinking, and struggled to find a way to comfortably move forward, respecting where my students are and what they bring into my room, while still preparing them for Second Grade.

I am not sure where all of this is taking me. I know that next year I will have a “part 2”, when this group of students returns. I am still reading and thinking and plotting and planning.