October 15, 2010
Dear LREI Community,
We hear fairly often of questions from thoughtful members of the LREI community about the School’s participation in discussions of equal rights for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. Having these questions is understandable as our classroom conversations are somewhat different from those in some of our colleague schools.
However, when college freshmen feel that it is okay to humiliate a gay roommate to the extent that he sees no option but to jump off of the George Washington Bridge, it is time for all of us, regardless of belief, to put questions aside and to rise up as allies and say, “No more. We stand together.” When a candidate for governor of New York State talks about being gay as a “less successful option,” it is time to say, “No more. We stand together.” When a group of young men kidnaps and tortures three of our fellow New Yorkers because the victims were assumed to be gay, it is time to join together and say, “No more. We stand together as allies. We will take care of each other.”
I wish these were the only three examples of this sort of behavior, but if we reach into the not too distant past, or if we could see into the not too distant future, we would easily find others. Whether in the media or in the supposedly civil discourse in our governing bodies it is all too easy to find examples of sexuality, gender, masculinity and femininity being used as punch lines and cudgels. Your children are not immune to these societal pressures. As much as they have discussed social justice in school, we hear, from time to time, put-downs and jokes based on sexuality in our hallways and on the playground. It is impossible to put an end entirely to these comments in the world outside our doors. It might be impossible to entirely put an end to them within our community. That does not mean, however, that we ignore our responsibility, and our duty, to try.
We will continue to have conversations with our students about respect, tolerance and empathy for all people. We will continue to organize gatherings in all three divisions, such as the lower school Families Assembly. We will continue to host, “Visibility: Gay and Lesbian People We Love, our biannual photo exhibit. We will continue to march in the Gay Pride Parade. These events allow us to celebrate all that is so wonderful about loving families and communities that are accepting of all. We will continue to welcome, support and care for all members of our community equally.
I invite you all to join me next week, Ally Week, in wearing an “Ally” sticker. Wear it to work and share one with a colleague. Wear it in your neighborhood and explain to friends that you are spending a week publicly being an ally to all who have to hide a piece of themselves or risk discrimination and violence. Wear it in your home and take time over breakfast or dinner to speak with your children about what your family believes. (Stickers will be available at the reception desks in both buildings.)
We understand that these conversations may make some adults uncomfortable and that this discomfort may begin with the assumption that we are discussing sex with your children. While we do, at appropriate times, discuss sex with your children, it is important to remember that discussions of sexual orientation are not always discussions of sex. While the kids understand this, it is we adults who are sometimes made uncomfortable. Lets look to the children to find the simple truth-we are discussing fairness. Nothing more. Nothing less. At LREI, our conversations begin from the point of accepting as fact that being lesbian or gay is what people are, not a choice one makes.
It is time for each of us to support our children in creating a more just future where discomfort gives way to equality. It is time for us to say, in no uncertain terms, bigotry in any form, against any one, is wrong. Hatred is wrong. We stand together to protect the rights of each and all.
If you would like to join me for a discussion of any issue reflected in this letter, I will be in the Sixth Avenue cafeteria on Wednesday, October 20th at 8:45 AM. I look forward to seeing you then.
Warmly,
Phil Kassen
Director