November 1, 2024
Dear Families,
Greetings. I am sharing this week’s newsletter one day late as yesterday was a busy day and we did not want this note to get lost in the Halloween hubbub.
We find ourselves in the final days of a complex and divisive campaign season, consequential and compelling whether you are considering the presidential election, state and local elections, or ballot initiatives. Our conversations in the three divisions will continue as we approach Election Day and certainly for some time after. Our goal is for students to understand the electoral process, the workings of government, the issues at hand, and the impact that these issues and this election will have on their futures. We also want them to develop the skills needed to deepen their knowledge in years to come and to better understand how individuals can have an impact.
It can be hard to begin these conversations with our children, though it has never been more important. To that end, I share a few thoughts, informed by conversations with my colleagues:
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As we often suggest in moments such as these, it may be best to limit your child’s access to “the news”. I am not suggesting that you keep information from them but am suggesting that for many it is best to take occasional news-breaks and to encourage older students to take social media breaks from time to time. Good advice for many adults, as well. If you feel that you need a break, then the children definitely do.
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Check in with your children to make sure that they understand what they are seeing and hearing. Work to have the messages that are coming your way be discussion starters, not discussion silencers. Ask for your kids’ opinions and questions, ask them to teach you, and generally engage in active conversation, not solely passive absorption.
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If there is an issue about which you feel especially strongly, maybe now is the time to explain why your beliefs are as strong as they are, if you have yet to do so and it is age appropriate. This is an excellent opportunity to ask the children to use their skills and understanding to grapple with topics that are just beyond their horizons.
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How will you handle a topic about which you disagree with an older child? If possible, a conversation regarding a topic about which you both feel strongly, though differently, will provide opportunities for them to practice “talking across difference”. Your loving relationship may provide a comfortable place to practice this important skill.
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How can you prepare your child for conversations with relatives with whom they disagree? What if you and your spouse/partner disagree? How do you explain this difference of opinion/belief to your children? How can you use these conversations to practice listening skills?
When children are learning to participate in conversations in which there will be disagreement it is important to remind them to treat all with dignity. Dignity is “the glue that holds all of our relationships together” and “the mutual recognition of the desire to be seen, heard, listened to, and treated fairly; to be recognized, understood, and to feel safe in the world.” (Author Donna Hicks, via LREI visiting speaker Jason Craige Harris)
Children are never too young, nor too old, for a trip to the polls. Invite them along. Though, as we heard from visiting speaker Peter Horn, “The essential unit of democracy is not the voting booth, but the conversation.” (William Greider.)
Our goal should be to engage our children in conversation and questioning and to help them to see themselves as active participants in our democracy. If we avoid the conversations when our children are young, we are missing opportunities to practice these skills and we are sending a message about the importance of being an involved citizen.
Conversations in uncertain times also allow for practice imagining the futures we hope for. This is an ever-moving horizon and is a real challenge for children. What a terrific opportunity to practice thinking about our individual and collective futures.
We are always happy to speak about any individual issue. Please be in touch. That said, remember that you are each other’s best coach in this work. To that end, I reiterate my invitation for you to join a conversation on Wednesday, November 6, from 8:30a.m.-9:30a.m. in the Sixth Avenue Cafeteria. I hope to see you there.
A reminder that early voting continues through Sunday, 11/3 (Marathon Day) in NY and NJ, and, of course, Election Day is November 5. (LREI is open on Election Day.)
