March 7, 2024
Dear LREI Community,
One month ago, on February 7, 2024, Nex Benedict, a 16-year old high school student, died in Owasso, Oklahoma, a long way from our corner of the world. That said, we should pay attention to their passing (Nex Benedict used they/them pronouns). There is a lot that we don’t know about this situation. We may learn more, though we will have to be comfortable with some of the details not being shared as they are not our concern. More specifically:
- We know that Nex Benedict identified as non-binary.
- We know that Nex Benedict reported having been bullied.
- We know that there was an incident between Nex and a few others in a bathroom.
- We know that Nex Benedict was sent to the hospital from school and then went home.
- We know that sometime the next day Nex Benedict was rushed to the hospital where they died.
- We don’t know the cause of Nex’s death.
One news report stated that “it is unclear if Nex was beaten because of their gender identity” and also that the altercation may have stemmed from Nex pouring water on the three girls who attacked them. Nex indicated that these students teased and maligned them and their friends.
We all know that bullying, harassment, and other forms of direct or digital confrontation and conflict are hurtful and dangerous. While these incidents do not always lead to injury and, thankfully, less frequently lead to a death, they leave a lasting impact on the student who is the victim of the bullying – harassment, assault or otherwise singling out a particular person or group for torment in an ongoing and persistent fashion. In those cases in which schools ignore these incidents, or if there are systemic reasons that students feel unprotected, the results can be devastating. This may well have been the case in the death of Nex Benedict.
In Oklahoma, students are restricted from using bathrooms that don’t “align with their sex assigned at birth”, in addition to other prohibitions that diminish the dignity of those who share this identity. These regulations, as well as other examples of proposed legislation, have and will create additional barriers to full participation and may well add to school environments that are hostile to students and may lead to an increase in bullying behaviors.
I have been thinking about the impact that Nex’s death may have on our students, some 1,337 miles away from Owasso. As we head into the heart of the Presidential election season I am concerned about the impact of what will surely be an increase in the frequency and volume of comments and conversations regarding gender. Whether the conversation is about gender-affirming healthcare, participation in school sports, bathroom use, or what books one can choose to read, I am concerned about the impact that this targeted and persistent questioning of the validity of one’s identity will have on our children.
We will continue to do our very best to support our students. We know that there are ways in which we are being supportive and inclusive and that there are areas in which we need to improve. We start by listening to what our students tell us about who they are, about what they need, and about how we can support them and their families. When we have questions, or if something makes us uncomfortable, or when we don’t understand, we work to learn and grow. We also acknowledge that growth is our responsibility and not that of the person who needs our support and acceptance.
Peace,
P.S. To see LREI’s Bullying/Harassment policy, as well as our Anti-Discrimination policy, among others, click here.