Hatred

May 26, 2021

Dear LREI Community,

I am sick of hatred. Is that a ridiculous thing to say? Maybe it is. Maybe you’re thinking, “Of course he is. We all are.” And, yes, of course, I am and I hope we all are. Maybe my hatred of hatred should be questioned as I am not all that personally targeted by the true intense animosity in the world. While there are some folks who may not like me, I like to think that I earned their frustration or whatever they are feeling. I recognize that my ruminations on hatred come from a place of comfort and safety. In my role, I have to listen to the experiences of others and do my best to respond and to lead in a way that honors their experiences and de-centers mine. I see hatred from the outside and can disengage if I choose to. How different must it feel not to be able to avoid the hatred of others? While I try to hear and learn from those who have this experience, I will never experience it myself.

What I am thinking about is real hatred. Emotions, wherever they come from – fear, misunderstanding, ignorance, etc. – that propel acts that alter others’ lives, that cause lasting and ongoing hurt. I am thinking about the hatred that 100 years ago incited the Tulsa Race Massacre, that a year ago caused the murder of George Floyd, that has caused the sharply rising tide of antisemitic attacks, that has led to the many instances of anti-Asian violence this year, as well as incidents of Islamaphobia, anti-LGBTQ+ crimes, and on and on.

With each act of hatred, with each shift of the sands of who is up and who is down, who is attacked, and who is the attacker, I feel compelled to “put pen to paper” and to share my thoughts with you. I have to admit to also feeling that I don’t want to. My thoughts and comments seem so naive. Of course, I feel this way. Hatred = bad. That said, one complication is that the hatred in question often gets assigned to a person. Fix the person, lose the hatred. That is not often the whole story. There are systems upon systems that ensure the future of discrimination and these have to be addressed, as well. In this season of ongoing strife, of increased tension and violence, of politicians leading the divisiveness with an equal opportunity assortment of racist, sexist, antisemitic, anti-indigenous comments, and increasing ease and willingness to say the unsayable, I share these commitments to LREI’s families and ask for others in return.

Our commitments to you:

Our first commitment is that in challenging times we are thinking of affected members of our community and we are here to support you in any way we can. You are on our minds and in our hearts.

Commitment #2 – We will maintain our focus on the role that our progressive curriculum plays in supporting your children as they find their place in the world, as they work to understand who they are now and who they will be as they mature. We will use this understanding along with the skills and content area knowledge that your children gather each day and we will demonstrate our shared belief that we are all equal even if to be cared for means being treated differently. We will work to lead impactful lives, whether one’s impact ends up being on a grand scale (I cannot wait to see an LREI alum in the White House!) or with less fanfare in a single community, bringing individuals together in peace and love and harmony. I also commit to becoming better at hearing voices that find it hard to speak up and out in our community.

The commitments I ask for in return –

#1 – Join us in demonstrating the belief that we must center each person’s humanity, equally.

#2 – For students, work hard and participate honestly. Listen to your classmates when they share of themselves and be generous, sharing yourself with them in return.

#3 – Families, please have these conversations at home. It is hard to talk about hate and sadness and intolerance. That said, you have to do it. Silence in our most cherished places (and family is THE most cherished place) and from the most important people speaks loudly about what we believe and what we expect. For those of you who have these conversations, thank you. We know you do and we know that you are at LREI because we do too. For those of you who are tentative, wade in. These conversations about your family’s beliefs and values and actions will be among the most meaningful you will have. Need help starting? Give me a call.

With wishes for peace and love,

Phil

Hatred

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