LREI@home

June 1, 2020

Dear LREI Community,

I hope this note finds you well. We are now officially in the home stretch. Please read all of the way through this letter. After I share some thoughts you will find three important notes – one focused on now, one on the summer, and one on the fall.

I was copied on an email yesterday that asked for us to think about how we can help the students sort out their thoughts and feelings, their goals, and opportunities for participation, when grappling with the protests happening now in response to the deaths of black men and women at the hands of the police and their fellow citizens. “How,” this mom asked, “can we help students figure out how to respond to and act upon the rage they are feeling?” This was a good question and I want to share a few thoughts in response.

To begin, LREI reaffirms its deeply held belief in the equality and dignity of all people. Black Lives Matter and we must continue to demonstrate this in word and deed. We live this commitment in our policies and practices, and we can always do more.

1. First, the answer to the question above depends on your identity and that of your child/children. For families of color, and I am making an assumption here, many have ongoing discussions about race. For white families, again an assumption or maybe an educated guess, the percentage of families who have ongoing discussions about race and their family’s racial identity is likely lower. We who live in primarily white families have given ourselves the illusion of time to wait. We cause damage by doing so.

2. Now is the moment to start or to re-start this conversation. I don’t think those of us who assume we are not touched by race or bias because of skin color, age, or economic status can choose to protect our children from the facts of racial life in America any longer. It is important to remember that our children learn from what we don’t say as much as from what we do say.

3. I imagine that what I feel now as a white man – the anger, fear, sadness, concern, and sense of powerlessness – is nothing compared to the ways in which many black and brown skinned people have these and/or other feelings every day. So maybe one answer to the question that was asked is, “Maybe these protests, maybe the rage you feel has brought you a little bit closer to knowing the rage of people who are criminalized due to their skin color, every day.”

4. Do something. What?

   • See #2 above.

   • Join a protest.

   • Learn and share your learning. There are many ways to deepen your understanding of race, of your race, of bias, and of your biases. At this point, learning is not enough. It has to translate to action, to change the patterns of our beings, and the lenses through which we consume news and judge the world.

   • Learn and find ways to have this conversation with your kids. Learn and join an LREI affinity group next year. Learn and find ways to engage on a wider level.

   • Respond when a friend or loved one questions the motivation of the protestors or the rights of people of color.

   • Call or email your elected officials.

   • Vote.

5. Protests? Should you allow your older children to attend protests? Given the centrality of the issue of race to our future, it seems hard to say, “No.” Given the actions taken by the authorities and the injuries to some participants, hard to say, “Yes.” Add a global pandemic on top of this and you have an incredibly fraught conversation/decision. This has to be left up to individual families to decide. Don’t hesitate to be in touch if we can help.

6. Join the appropriate one of these discussions:

Is the world safe for me and the people I know?
Will this happen to me?
Will this happen to someone I know?

how to engage in conversations with your parent peers and with your children.

White Parents – join the White Anti-Racist Parent Affinity Group (WARPAG). Zoom link on the Resource Page.

Parents of Color (Black, African American, Asian, Pacific Islanders, Latinx, Biracial, Multiracial, Native American)

– join Chap Zoom link on the Resource Page

To support your work, I share a few resources. These are by no means the only resources available, simply a few that I have found useful or that came recommended.

• Resources for Talking about Race, Racism, and Racialized Violence with Kids

• Your Kids Aren’t Too Young to Talk About Race: Resource Roundup

• A guide to how you can support marginalized communities

• 100 Race Conscious Things You Can Say to Your Child to Advance Racial Justice

• The Dos and Dont’s of Talking to Kids of Color About White Supremacy

• Being Antiracist – To create an equal society, we must commit to making unbiased choices and being antiracist in all aspects of our lives.

• Embrace Race – Let’s Raise a Generation of Children Who Are Thoughtful, Informed, and Brave About Race.

• Raising Race Conscious Children  – “WHY BRING IT UP?” PUSHING BACK AGAINST WHITE SUPREMACY Excerpt:…the conversation about race and identity isn’t one 100-minute conversation. Thankfully, it’s more like “100 one-minute conversations.”

Angela Davis (LREI ‘61) said, “In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist, we must be anti-racist.”  We feel strongly that this needs to be the school’s orientation, as well. If you want to learn more about this distinction, I suggest reading Ibram X. Kendi’s How to be an Antiracist. LREI’s mission statement says that our students will graduate “as active participants in our democratic society.” One must actively oppose bigotry in order to fulfill this mission. Our diversity statement adds that, “LREI is committed to each of its community members, each of whom has a responsibility to both the community and the wider world.”  This statement seems to demand action at moments such as the one we are in. Throughout the school, teachers and students are having conversations, some in homeroom groups, some in affinity groups, and these will continue this week. It will also demand action in the future and we will create time and spaces for this in the weeks and months ahead.

To end where I began, the answer to the question that I was so glad to be asked is, continue your journey and bring your children along. Start talking about race and racism, justice, and injustice. Make this conversation one that you have frequently. Signal its importance. Already do? Keep going. Feeling rage? Good. You should. As Maya Angelou said, “The truth is, no one of us can be free until everybody is free.”

Peace,

P.S. I have included music in a few of my letters to you in the past months. As I was checking the Maya Angelou quote to make sure I had it right, I found this song by one of my favorite gospel/rhythm/blues singers, Solomon Burke.

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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

• As I noted in my letter last Thursday, we are putting together a new program, LREIremote, that will support those families that are reluctant to return to NYC or who have a family health situation that precludes a fall return to continue on at LREI. If you would like me to add your name to the list of families to whom I will send more information about this program, please let me know ASAP.

• This link will take you to the registration page for LREI Summer@home. You will find a long list of offerings for children of all ages, from the youngest right up through high school. There will be three two-week sessions, each class meeting each day, for a total of ten gatherings per class. Check it out!

• As you heard from Board Chair Jim Harris on Friday, we are turning our full fund raising attention to the emergency coronavirus relief effort, The LREI 360 Support Fund. There are families in our community whose lives and livelihoods have been disproportionately impacted by the pandemic. The LREI 360 Support Fund was created to help cover essential expenses, including food, rent, and healthcare. Additionally, we are now fielding unanticipated and unprecedented requests for tuition assistance for the next school year. Our school is here today because nearly 100 years ago, a group of parents gathered in a local ice cream parlor and pooled their funds to save it. We tell our students this story of our community’s resilience every Founders Day. We teach them to work together and care for one another. We see these values reflected in their actions inside the classroom, in the world around them, and now, via Zoom. At this time, we adults must also support one another. Your generosity shows that we are all in this together. You can make a gift here, via wire transfer, stock transfer, or at PayPal.me/lreinyc.