Adolescent Issues Are In The Air

Dear Families,

On Monday and Tuesday night, Middle School psychologist Andrew Weiss and I enjoyed spirited discussions with fifth-seventh grade parents as part of our annual Adolescent Issues Parent Evenings (click here for an overview of topics being explored in Adolescent Issues classes). In these discussions, we spent much time talking about the many ways in which adolescents seek to test boundaries and that this can invariably lead to a certain level of conflict. As Andrew astutely observed, the goal for parents and teachers is not to find ways to avoid this conflict, but rather to work through it. For it is precisely these moments of conflict that define where the boundaries are and how they connect to the values that serve as a foundation for your family and for us at LREI. Navigating through these waters is certainly difficult for both kids, parents and teachers, but is is essential. We also acknowledged that these values may differ from family to family and with the school and that this can create additional challenges.

We talked about the challenge of responding to difficult questions that we may not want or feel prepared to answer. We agreed that acknowledging the significance of a question is important, but that we may want to let our child know that we want to think about it for a bit to figure out the best may to respond. In this way, we can model thoughtful and reflective thinking for our child as we look for the best way to enter into the conversation. We talked about the importance of finding a response that was honest, but that also felt comfortable with regard to what you may or may not want to share with your child.

Many parents felt that their child’s “need to know” was also challenged by the ease with which information can be accessed in a digital age. Whether intentionally or by accident, it is surprisingly easy for children to stumble upon information that may be misleading, confusing, or scary. While we might want to try to limit what a child can access so only that which is developmentally appropriate can be found, we acknowledged that this is probably impossible. We also talked about the challenges that online communication can create for authentic and meaningful dialog between peers and friends. These challenges make it all the more important for parents to understand and to become comfortable with the information/entertainment tools that our children are using. Knowing how to IM, text, blog, and access social networking sites is crucial. Let your kids teach you these skills and while they are teaching you, you can help them to understand how you expect them to use these tools in ways that are consistent with your values. You’ll probably also have a lot of fun in the process.

On a related note, there was much conversation about how parents can keep a pulse on what their child is thinking and wondering about as they move through adolescence. Many parents commented that this is compounded by the fact that as their child is seeking greater independence s/he may appear unwilling to want to share what is going on in his/her life. Many of you commented about how important it is to keep trying, but not to push too hard. The metaphor of a set of closed doors surrounding the adolescent was offered. we agreed that it is important to knock regularly on these doors and to not always knock on the same door. And despite all this knocking, we need to be okay with the fact that the child may not always open the door. This regular knocking lets them know that when they are ready to talk to us about an issue, we will be there ready to listen. As it is in the classroom, the student wants to know where the boundaries are and wants to make sure that they are enforced. When the boundaries are vague and inconsistent students tend not to feel safe and will find it hard to take the risks that are required to do good thinking. In the same way, the regular knocking on the doors of adolescent issues creates a sense of safety and consistency that is so important. Each time you knock, you also send an important message about what you value.

Towards the end of our conversation, I commented that one of the things that so impresses me with our students is that when the stakes are high and a friend is at risk they really do rise to the occasion. We often become aware of issues because students tell us. They tell us because they know that we care about them and want to help, but at a deeper level, they tell us because they truly care about their classmates. This caring for others is hugely significant. For parents, adolescence marks the beginning of a “letting go” and by the end of adolescence, your young adults will be very much responsible for their lives. Because we/you can’t always be there for them, we hope that the values that we have worked to instill in them hold fast and guide them through their difficult moments. This is the clearest evidence that that you and your child are productively making your way through adolescence. I see ample evidence of this in our students and it is a reflection of the hard work that you do at home and that we reinforce at school.

Keep knocking and talking!

Of General Interest . . .

1) Congratulations, Seniors!!  Click here to see the latest update of our College Acceptance List.  We will send home a list of the schools in which our seniors enroll in a few weeks.  We are so proud of the class of 2009!

2) Next Monday evening, April 20th, the Literary Committee invites you to stay home with your family and enjoy reading together.  Choose an old favorite, try a new story, or browse some poetry to get ready for our schoolwide Poem-in-Your-Pocket Day the following day, Tuesday, April 21st.  Please click here to view the flyer.

3) On a related literary note, do you have any books at home that you would like to freecycle?  As part of Earth Day, we will be having a Lower School/Middle School book swap.  Every child is encouraged to bring in ONE AND ONLY ONE gently used book that he/she no longer wants, to exchange for another book to take home.  The book swap will take place Wednesday, April 22, in the Sixth Ave. library from 2:45-4:00 PM.  Literary Committee members will be on hand to make sure every participant takes home an appropriate book.  If you have more books, please donate them to Alison and Becka’s Third Grade class book drive for Homes for the Homeless.

4)  Red is Green Committee Updates:

• Save the date: Wednesday, April 22 is Earth Day. Join committee members an parent and student volunteers for our First Annual Earth Day Celebration for lower and middle school kids in the Sixth Avenue auditorium from 2:45-4:00PM. There will be a range of fun and exciting interactive workshops and a Earth Day themed book reading corner for our youngest green LREIers. If you are interested in volunteering to help, there is a sign-up sheet in the Sixth Avenue lobby.
• And don’t forget to check out Lets Go Green’s website for eco-friendly water bottles, garbage bags, light bulbs, paper goods etc. LREI receives 25% of all sales as profit. Thanks for all your help. Start collecting and keep recycling!
• If you have any questions or suggestions, please email the Red is Green committee (lhommen@hotmail.com or kbeck2@nyc.rr.com).

5) From the LREI Lesbian Gay Straight Alliance (LGSA): Join us for  Marriage Equality: A Civil Rights Issue an evening event sponsored by the LGSA and scheduled for Monday April 27th from 6-8PM at the Charlton Street PAC. Marriage equality would insure that every American, regardless of sexual orientation, is treated equally under the law. Topics for the evening will include: why marriage matters, what laws are being enacted nationally and locally, how this effects our families and children and how to get involved. The evening is open to the public and we encourage everyone in the LREI parent body to attend.  We would also ask them to bring friends who know the issues, but want to learn more; and, maybe even more importantly, we ask them to bring  people who don’t understand the issues but could become allies if they knew more. It’s like election day and we need to get people to the polls!  Every civil rights issue was won beginning at the grassroots level. For additional information, see the attached  press release and poster for the event. Parents should RSVP to MarriageEqualityEvent@gmail.com if childcare is needed.

6) Hall Auction: Don’t miss out–you still have a chance to bid on great auction items! You can choose from: a week-long vacation in Oaxaca, Mexico; cupcakes and conversation with Atoosa Rubinstein, former editor-in-chief of Cosmo Girl and Seventeen magazines for your child and up to 19 of her/his friends; 4 VIP tickets to the 2009 Great Night in Harlem Concert at the Apollo Theater; fashionable apparel for women and men; and much more. Head over to the bulletin boards in the lobby of the Sixth Avenue building to start bidding!

7) For updates on faculty performances, openings, presentations, and publications visit the Faculty in the News page on the school web site.

8) LREI is a member of NYC-Parents in Action (NYC-PIA). NYC-PIA provides parenting education, information and a communications network to help parents prepare their children and teenagers to cope with social pressures and to make sound choices towards a future free of alcohol and drug abuse. Please read the attached flyer to view their 2008-2009 calendar. You can also access their website at http://www.parentsinaction.org/.

This Week’s Attachments
General:
Eighth Grade:
Seventh Grade:
Fifth Grade:
Sixth Grade:

For All Grades . . .
1) We are looking forward to the upcoming Family Conferences, which are scheduled for this Friday, April 17th, from 12:15-3:15PM and on Friday, April 24 from 8:30AM-3:30PM (there is no school for students on these two days). These conferences will be with your child’s advisor and will address work completed in all subjects. Students and their advisors have been reviewing work completed in all of their classes over the past quarter. They have identified areas of strength and challenge and work samples that provide examples of these strengths and challenges. Students  have also done reflections in each of their classes and they will share some of these in the conference. We expect students to take the lead in this conversation and the advisor’s role is to help guide them through this process. We hope that the developing holistic picture of who your child is as a learner will emerge.

With regard to the third quarter reports you have just received, it is likely that your child’s teachers’ comments on his/her work may answer many of your questions. If you have specific questions that are not answered by the end of the conference, we ask that you contact the relevant teacher directly as s/he will be best able to answer the question. The conference represents a moment to celebrate good work and to think about how the school and home can work together to support your child as we move towards the end of the year. If you have not done so already, please read my previous posts about Progress Reports and Family Conferences (and some additional resources). The structure of our Family Conferences is always an evolving one and I encourage you to let me know about your conference experience. Your feedback is tremendously useful in helping us to shape this experience so that it is a meaningful and productive one for all.

A number of you have inquired about ERB scores. We will recieve these scores in the next week or two and my hope is to get them out to you by the week of April 27th.

2) While there is still much to be accomplished in the 2008-2009 school year, spring also signals the beginning of our formal planning cycle for the 2009-2010 school year. A crucial piece of this planning is the hiring process, which is just getting underway. I thought that it would be useful to update you on where we are in this process.

Middle School learning specialist Jennifer Haakmat will take a one-year leave to continue her graduate work and to be with her family. This year, Jennifer worked with our eighth grade students and teachers and was joined by Susannah Flicker who worked with our seventh grade students and teachers. I have asked Susannah to take on the learning support services for both the seventh and eighth grades and she has accepted the position. We wish Jennifer the best for the coming year and are excited that Susannah will be able to continue on in an expanded role to support our ongoing efforts to meet the diverse learning needs of our students.

Finally, seventh grade core teacher Victor Diggs has let me know that he will not be returning next year. Victor has decided to pursue teaching opportunities that will allow him to focus on his true passion, which is the teaching of reading and writing. I know that Victor’s work teaching social studies and English will only enrich the experience for his future language arts students. I would like to thank Victor for all that he has contributed to to the middle school program over the past four years. Whether in the classroom as a teacher or advisor or on the courts and mats as a coach, Victor has demonstrated true dedication to his students. We will miss him and wish him the best of luck in his future endeavors.

We are in the process of identifying a set of promising candidates for interviews and demo lessons. I have already spoken with a number of strong candidates and hope to conclude this search soon. That we are only looking to hire for this one position is a true testament to the quality and strength of the Middle School program. I am honored to work with such outstanding and passionate educators all of whom are equally committed to serving your children and to supporting each other in their own professional growth. Setting aside any pretense of modesty, the Middle School faculty really is an exceptional team!

3) Mark your calendars: Just a heads up that the MS Art Show is scheduled for Thursday, April 30th and Friday, May 1st. The Art Show is a wonderful opportunity to explore the impressive art work that middle schoolers have created so far this year.

For Eighth Grade Families . . .
1)For students moving on to the high school: The math placement exam for incoming students will be given on Tuesday, April 28th from 3:30-4:30PM.

2) Please check out music teacher Matt McLean’s blog for an update on the current music class project.

For Seventh and Eighth Grade Families . . .
1) Middle School Softball: This year’s coaches are Matthew Rosen and Lynne Cattafi. Practices will be held on Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 3:15-4:45PM from April 14th to May 20th.  If the weather prevents a practice from happening, then Thursdays will be the alternate practice day.  All interest players should have a glove, athletic pants/shorts, and athletic shoes.  Baseball cleats are not necessary as most games are on concrete or artificial turf. Click here to download a permission form. The game schedule can be found at http://lrei.org/athletics/ms_softball.php. If there are any questions, please contact the Athletic Director, Peter Fisher (pfisher@lrei.org, 212-477-5316 ext. 233).

For Seventh Grade Families . . .
1) From Matthew and Victor: We are excited to inform you that in conjunction with our current study of the American Revolution and our upcoming study of the Constitution itself, on Thursday, April 23rd the seventh grade will be traveling to Philadelphia for a day-long trip. We will visit to the National Constitution Center, where we will participate in 4 events that will help us better understand the founding and establishment of our country and its constitution. We will also visit Independence Hall and, time permitting, other historical sites. Like our trip to Williamsburg, the trip to Philadelphia will give us a first-hand understanding of important events in Colonial American history. Students should arrive to LREI on the morning of April 23rd by 7:00AM. Our chartered bus will be departing promptly at 7:15AM. Students should be sure to bring their writer’s notebook, a bag lunch (with an extra snack for the return trip — we will not stop at a rest stop on the return trip — and as always no nuts, seeds, or glass bottles), an extra sweatshirt and a backpack for these items. Cameras and some spending money (no more than $10) are optional. Students should dress as appropriately for that day’s predicted weather, and they should be sure to wear comfortable walking shoes. We will be departing from Philadelphia at around 2:45pm, and expect to return to LREI by 4:15PM. Please don’t hesitate to contact us with any questions or concerns. Thank you.

2) Our annual High School Arts Festival, is scheduled for May 1st and our seventh graders participate in this exciting event. The Arts Festival is a day dedicated to art during which visiting artists run workshops with students. Students take a three hour class in the morning led by the artists, which gives students the opportunity to focus on one area of interest. In the afternoon there is an assembly where performing arts workshops can present and perform and special guest performers inspire. This is a wonderful day for art and for the seventh graders to get a taste of the high school experience.

3) Please check out music teacher Matt McLean’s blog for an update on the current music class project.

For Sixth Grade Families . . .
1) Just a reminder that this Friday, April 17th, the sixth grade will have its annual DISC Dance with students from VCS, St. Lukes, Grace Church, Friends Seminary, and City and Country. This year’s dance is being hosted by St. Lukes (click here for directions). The dance will run from 7-9PM. Permission slips and the $6 dance fee shoudl have been returned today. If not, please make sure it is turned in tomorrow morning. If you have any questions about the dance, please contact Lynne Cattafi at lcatttafi@lrei.org.

2) Please check out music teacher Matt McLean’s blog for an update on the current music class project.

For Fifth and Sixth Grade Families . . .
1) Intramural Softball: Practices are scheduled for Tuesday and Thursday mornings from 7-8AM. Practices will take place at the Houston Street ball field. Once we are a bit further into the season, we will move to the JJ Walker field. The first few sessions will be used for skill work and to set up teams. Once the teams have been created, games will be played each Tuesday and Thursday. At each morning session, two of the teams will play each other and the third team will have a skills session. The teams will rotate through these game/skill sessions. As a result, players are encouraged to attend both sessions even if they are not scheduled for a game on a particular day. We do understand that scheduling may be an issue and understand that you child may not be able to attend every session. If your child has a glove, s/he should bring it with her/him to the practice/game. If your child does not have a glove, s/he will likely be able to borrow one from another player. Click here to download a permission form. If you have any questions, please contact Larry Kaplan at lkaplan@lrei.org.

For Fifth Grade Families . . .
1) Please check out music teacher Matt McLean’s blog for an update on the current music class project.

============= For additional information, follow these links: =============

• View important middle school dates here.
• View all events with the LREI On-line Calendar
• Click here to see the 2009-2010 calendar.
• LREI Athletics. For general LREI Athletics news go to this link . This page will provide general announcements, game summaries, league standings and season recaps.
• Click here to view the Middle School Photo Gallery.

A reminder that the individual homework blog and the “feeds” for every class can be accessed from the Digital Classroom link on the sidebar (you may want to bookmark this page for easy access). These feeds provide an easy “one-click” solution to find out what has been assigned for homework. Keep in mind that a feed will only show what has been posted as of the time you check it.

Don’t forget to check the LREI website for updates and other interesting school-related information.

Be well,
Mark