By Tatsuya King
It’s hard to imagine a world without words. Words are how you talk, how you read, and for most, even how you think. But in this world of sprawling words, which words are most worthy of writing? Surely not all words are equal, some words are even so horrible that they barely deserve the time it takes to enunciate their syllables in full clarity. But this article isn’t about terrible words like ointment, it’s about the good words. Good words are words that cause squirts of serotonin in the brain like rabid sugar butterflies scoring along the sides of one’s skull. In some miracle of sonic vibration, some words stumble upon a perfect combination of sounds that work in beautiful harmony. These words are hard to come by, but their presence in any vernacular is reminiscent of a delectable flourish upon an otherwise standard meal. There are too many good words out there in the world to cover every facet of a successful word conception in one concise body of writing. Instead, this article will focus on a select few words whose beauty is diverse in utility and harmonics. And from such examples, perhaps a broader conclusion on the quality of words can be drawn.
Word number one: dubious
The word dubious is a good word for many reasons. Most notably, dubious is just a fun word to say. Dubious. Say it out loud right now while you read this article! Dubious! Something that is dubious is something suspicious or worthy of doubt, but this definition can be applied in a plethora of ways. You can call anything dubious and you’ll be sure to have a fun time. Call your parents dubious, your dog dubious, even your dubious school teachers can be called dubious. But why is dubious so fun to say? Well that would be a mystery that humans may never solve.
Word number two: laparoscopic cardiology
Admittedly, word number two is actually two words. On their own, though, laparoscopic and cardiology aren’t all that exciting of words. They each have some interesting technical annunciatory quirks but there is not much excitement beyond that. But together, oh boy do these words work well when put together. Laparoscopy is a type of operation performed on the human pelvis or abdomen through small incisions and cuts. Cardiology is a word for the branch of medicine that deals with the heart. Together, these words refer to some sort of surgery performed on the heart. Although if we’re being honest this is sort of a nonsense coupling of words. The most notable use of the phrase ‘laparoscopic cardiology’ comes from the Mipso song Red Eye to Raleigh where the singer, Joseph Terrel, mentions laparoscopic cardiology as a possible solution to the heartbreak that he is feeling within the narrative of the song. Probably played up for comedic effect, this line sticks out and is a joy to hear at every listen. All in all, laparoscopic cardiology is probably not something you’ll hear everyday, but it’s definitely a valuable addition to anyone’s diction.
Word number three: butter
Have you ever been following a recipe and you’re looking through all the words and you stumble upon the word butter, a golden little nugget nestled in among the various numbers and teaspoon references. That feeling does not come from a place of hunger or lust, however, it comes from the fact that the word butter is just a really cool word. Think about it. You can pronounce butter in many different ways and each pronunciation is just as much fun as the others. Butt-er, Buh-da, Butt-ah, Boh-dur, Bu-dder, and Butt-eh, are all perfectly viable ways to say butter! Feel your face right at this moment and realize that you have been smiling throughout this entire paragraph. That’s because butter is just a really awesome word.
Word number four: forefathers
You’ve heard of fathers, you’ve heard of words with ‘fore’ in them, now put those two together and you get the word forefathers. A forefather can refer to an ancestor or a precursor to a social movement, but in many ways the word forefather is vague enough to be used in many fun and exciting ways. In the video game Elden Ring, one of the big bad guys, Godrick the Grafted, after grafting a deceased dragons head onto his mangled body of writhing limbs, announces his strength by reaching his dragon arm into the sky and yelling, “Forefathers one and all, bear witness!” This moment is undeniably cool and it is arguably largely due to the use of the word ‘forefathers’. Whenever anyone does something cool, if they cry out to their forefathers, demanding their eyes for the moment, any preceding action’s coolness is raised by a factor five. Try it out. Call to your forefathers and do something crazy, you’ll surely understand how awesome of a word forefathers is then.
In this complicated world, words are sacred. They bind together the threads of our lives and provide articulation for deeper thoughts that ultimately lead to a stronger connection between people. Words can be used to show love, hatred, apathy, and nearly every minute spectacle of emotion. Beyond the punctual technicality of words and their written form, the tonal shifts in how a word can be spoken elevates the diversity of word usage to a whole new level. This doesn’t even begin to touch the scope of expression made available by slang, distorted grammar and various word based art forms. But with such a vast power available to every person, the effects of words can be highly volatile. Slurs, swears, and rude phrases all contribute to the wealth of resources available to some meanie seeking to ruin another person’s day. It is due to this volatile nature, then, that people must strive to do more good with their language than harm. Because if we cannot even stand to speak kind words, why should we deserve to stand at all?