By Rachel Morrow
Most of us take for granted the fact that we don’t have to worry about rejection in public bathrooms. Most of us can comfortably walk into a public bathroom and be accepted by everyone in the space. Senior leader of the Gender Sexuality Alliance club (GSA) Dariel Fernandez, who identifies as genderfluid, has had a different experience than the majority when using public bathrooms.
Fernandez defines the term “genderfluid,” which falls under the larger category of transgender, as “someone who does not identify with a fixed gender. Their gender constantly fluctuates between genders in the spectrum depending on a variety of factors.”
Transgender, non-binary, and two-spirit people often encounter challenges when dealing with public restrooms, as they are regularly rejected, harassed, or questioned by people in these spaces. A large part of the problem are the traditionally-known labels, ‘man’ and ‘woman,’ which perpetuate the gender binary system. To make transgender students more comfortable in restrooms at LREI, students and administrators worked together to create more inclusive bathroom signs that were installed outside of all bathrooms in the high school at the start of the school year.
Many students felt the language of the previous signs excluded people outside of the binary. “I really wanted to use the women’s bathroom…but I didn’t use it often because I was afraid of being rejected by the girls in the bathroom,” Fernandez said. “But as time went on I became more comfortable within the space and was accepted by the LREI community. However, I realized that the labels were not inclusive of all genders that use these bathrooms. The terms ‘man’ and ‘woman’ are exclusive of any non-binary, trans, or two-spirit identities.”
LREI bathrooms have always used traditional gender-specific labels, meaning that the signs say ‘man’ and ‘woman’ and use stereotypical, gendered stick figures. This implies that one should use the bathroom based on their sex assigned at birth, not their gender identity.
Members of the administrative team are aware that the concept of gender is evolving. “As we are entering into the 21st century, we as a school and we as a country are becoming more aware that the binary doesn’t work for every person,” said Director of Equity and Community Sandra “Chap” Chapman. “While LREI has known this for quite some time now, we’ve had a lot of conversations about what the binary system is, including trainings and conversations around how to accept people for who they are regardless of the pronouns they use and the identity they have. However, the bathrooms were one place where we had not caught up to where our philosophy and our beliefs are. We needed a space where people aren’t stressed about a bathroom that doesn’t match their identity. The binary gendered signs weren’t helping kids and actually were making it really complicated for some kids not to be able to have the bathroom of their choice.”
The first steps towards change took place in the spring of 2017, when Fernandez and two other students from the GSA set up a meeting with principal Micah Dov Gottlieb and Chapman. They asked for the bathroom signs to be changed to be inclusive of students who are non-binary, and also explained why single occupant, gender-neutral bathrooms are not a valid alternative. “These bathrooms are not very effective for trans and non-binary students because they’re ostracizing. They exclude them to a single room which is isolation within isolation.”
Gottlieb, Chapman, and the rest of the leadership team were open and supportive of the idea about changing the bathroom signs. “We wanted to create a school environment where everybody felt like they had a space to use the bathroom,” said Gottlieb. “It serves our learning environment by having people feel safe and comfortable.”
Chapman provided an explanation why the bathrooms with stalls couldn’t be all-gender. She explained that since these bathrooms are also used as changing rooms, opening them up to everyone could cause discomfort. This meant that the binary system would still have to be incorporated in some way, so that people would know which bathroom to use.
After this initial meeting, Fernandez brought the news to the GSA and they set to work coming up with a more inclusive sign. The students spent weeks creating a number of different signs with varying words, shapes and symbols. “The challenging part about it was that we basically had to manipulate the bathroom labels so that we maintained the binary while finding a way to include the non-binary,” said Fernandez. “Gender identity is such a complex thing and it’s so hard to be inclusive of every gender identity. It’s a huge spectrum.”
When the GSA proposed five of their sign ideas to the administration, the school year was coming to a close and things hadn’t yet been finalized. When everyone returned in September, the words ‘man’ and ‘woman’ still remained on the signs, however the stick figures had been covered by a piece of paper that said: “All individuals are welcome to use the restroom that is consistent with their gender identity.”
Upon returning to school, several of the GSA members weren’t pleased with the change. “There’s a problem with the plaque that we have right now,” Fernandez said. “It’s better, but it’s not enough. Using the words man and woman left the binary and all they did was add a tiny plaque underneath… It’s just a piece of paper. When you have a giant label that says man and woman and then a tiny plaque, just the way it looks you can see the hierarchy that’s there.”
When the GSA met for the first time this year, members expressed frustration: “The sign looks unprofessional. It looks as if it was done last minute,” said junior member of the GSA, Nubia Celis-Etienne. Fernandez added, “Somewhere along the path, things were lost in translation…when the school asked us for our ideas, keeping ‘man and woman’ wasn’t one of them.”
Senior leader of the GSA Ava Rome explained their ideal bathroom sign proposal: “We wanted to use the words ‘Femme-inclusive’ and ‘Masc-inclusive’ instead of ‘man’ and ‘woman.’ This way we could maintain the binary, while also being inclusive of transgender people.” Fernandez said, “It felt like we did all that work for nothing. We gave them a better way of being inclusive and they turned it away.”
The administration however, had a different opinion than the students. “There was some confusion,” said Gottlieb. “The final decision was made by the administration because we make the final decisions for the school. We made the decision based on recommendations from the students. I believe that the students were in approval of the final message…My impression was that the final wording we came up with was vetted by the GSA.”
The leadership team communicated over the summer about what new signs were going to be ordered to address this issue. “There were pictures being shared from other schools bathrooms,” said Chapman. “When the leadership team was having this conversation, we were doing it by looking at what was best practice everywhere else. Other institutions, schools, churches, restrooms in other places.”
Despite frustrations, Fernandez acknowledged the inclusivity that LREI already has: “LREI is a much safer space than so many other schools and institutions. I recognize how much privilege I have to be in a school that listens to my voice asking for change and lets me bring that change. There are so many other schools where this would be dismissed.”
The next steps towards changing the bathroom signs are in action now. The GSA is currently in conversation with school director Phil Kassen and Chapman about what the new signs should look like. However, they believe there’s still more work to be done in terms of making LREI a more comfortable space for all trans, non-binary and two-spirit students.
“Education is so important,” said Fernandez. “It’s easy to not have to learn about bathrooms and trans, non-binary and two-spirit identities if it doesn’t affect you. You have the privilege to look away because you never have to go through that experience… Inclusivity comes with education and until we have that education, LREI won’t be as inclusive as it could potentially be. But I do recognize that it is very inclusive right now.”
While LREI occasionally does have conversations surrounding transgender identities, students and administrators agree it’s not enough. “We need ongoing training,” said Chapman. Gottlieb agreed: “We can work better at educating the student population so that they’re more informed about the gender spectrum.”
Fernandez is excited for LREI to take the next steps towards making the bathroom signs more inclusive. “Replacing the signs now with Femme-inclusive and Masc-inclusive would be a huge step. Just adding a plaque is not enough. I am not leaving this school without bringing that change.”