Project by: Zoey Arongino (12th Grade)

Faculty Advisor: Joy Piedmont

A major aspect of my project has been making a blog to answer questions about adoption:

Here are some of the questions I received and my responses:

Have you ever felt pressured to be or express more or less of your Chinese identity?

I used to feel pressured when I was younger about expressing my Chinese identity. I still do today, but I know how to view other people’s comments. People I knew and didn’t know would assume I spoke Chinese. They thought that I had two Chinese parents, so I had to speak Mandarin fluently. They were often surprised when I had no clue how to say anything when I was younger. I would feel embarrassed that I didn’t know my cultures’ language. I’d pretend that I didn’t like speaking it and that I wanted to speak English. I felt like I had another persona for people wold assumed things about me due to my appearance. As I got older, I learned Mandarin for myself and not to please others’ wishes that I spoke mandarin. It would make them feel better about putting their foot in their mouth. These small things are micro- aggressions. They shouldn’t be unnoticed or looked over.

Should parents have there child’s DNA tested or should that be the child’s choice when there older? I’m asking because of privacy concerns that the child might have as an adult.

I think it should be the child’s choice. I wasn’t ready to do it when I was younger. Also, I wasn’t as aware or cared as much about my identity. Specifically, my DNA being tested. I probably couldn’t wrap my head around it and just said no. As I got older, my opinion changed. My mom brought up wanting to test her DNA and mine on 23andme. I said it would be a cool idea to do. We got the results back and they were very accurate. It tells you what makes you you like the percentage of what makes you up from a specific place in the world. It also tells you diseases you may be at risk of getting since adopted people are usually not left with family history and don’t know their family genetics. This site helped me see what made me me as well as see the different traits that I had which may have been given to me by my birth mother or father. I don’t think there is a safety issue unless you release your child’s DNA to a website. 23andme is confidential. If you want to send out DNA to a lab to find your child’s birth parents so that their genetics are in the system, I believe it is private. I’m not sure though. Hope this was helpful!

When it comes to keeping an adopted child educated and immersed in Chinese culture, how do you find the balance between deciding for them (in the hopes that they’ll appreciate it when they’re older) and pushing it on them to the point that they eventually become jaded?

Personally, my mom forced me to take mandarin going into High School because she wanted me to get immersed in my backgrounds language. Also, she said I’d love it! I used to take mandarin when I was younger, but I forgot most of it and took French from 5th-8th grade since mandarin wasn’t offered. At first, I was mad my mom was making me take a new language to make me connect with my heritage more. I would argue with her, and we’d go back and forth on the reasons I didn’t want to take it. I didn’t have a reason other than I had been taking French for a longer time. I don’t want to admit my mom was right, but she was. I’ve loved mandarin class for the last four years of high School, and I definitely want to continue it into college. The language is so interesting: you have pin yin, tones, characters, stroke order and so many more cool aspects about it. I’m glad my mom made me take mandarin. I’ve been proud being able to order food in Chinese restaurants as well as read signs in Chinatown. I would say to let your child try out something that immerses them in their culture whether it be dance, song, mandarin language, etc. I ended up loving mandarin Class but that’s just my experience. I’d suggest making your kid try out whatever helps them connect to their identity for a month or so. This can make them love it or say they tried it for a solid time and would not like to continue it. Also, I feel as adopted children grow up. They feel more passionate to learn more about their culture and become connected to it through multiple ways. Also, I’ve heard so many older Chinese adoptees say they regret not taking mandarin in school. This was another factor in me giving into my mom forcing me to take mandarin. I didn’t want to have any regrets when I looked back in life relating to my heritage. Ultimately, it’s your child’s choice, but a little push towered embracing your culture helped me discover my hidden love of mandarin. I hope this answered your question!

How do you educate people on stereotypes without being angry?

It’s difficult, but I try and step into their shoes. If I was unfamiliar with a certain subject, I wouldn’t want someone scolding or yelling at me. It would make me less likely to hear their opinion on the topic. I want to educate people how stereotypes and microagressions can affect their friends and family without them even realizing it. They should be allies rather than reinforcing false assumptions and racist remarks. It is a chance to speak calmly about an issue that you’d like to inform people about so that they can provide accurate information to others when they make stereotypes.

PROPOSAL

Please write a description of the project you are proposing. Why do you want to take this on, and what do you hope to learn?

I plan to make a website, blog or Tumblr which answers adoptees’ questions specifically Chinese adoptees. I want to give younger girls a resource that they can use for comfort or advice if they feel they are the only ones who are adopted in their class or friend group. I hope to inspire others to start their own websites and continue the support of our community.

What is your proposed outcome? How will you be able to demonstrate successful completion of this Project?

My outcome would be a resource for Chinese adoptees to use and share with others, so they feel they have something to read which can give them advice. They will feel less alone and can maybe start their own blog/website.