The smell of maple and grass surrounds me as I open the door. I take my daughter’s hand, Abigail, as we walk down the cobblestone steps of our home toward the Anglican Church. We pass the baker on the way, and I tell her she can pick one treat. Her little hand squirms out of mine and she sprints toward the bakery. I have a flashback of myself, as a little girl, when my mom took me to the small bakery in England and let me pick out any small treat. I see Abigail’s head pop out the door. She opens up her fingers and sitting there on the center of her palm is a small wafer. Her form of gold, when everyone else’s in Jamestown is tobacco. I don’t think God approves of this leaf. King James, the man who sent us to this New World, doesn’t like the product; he thinks it’s detrimental to your health. I tell her she can eat her wafer after church if she behaves.
We enter the church and take our seats next to all the women and children on the benches near the left side of the church. We slide in next to a very pale woman with hair as hay. She sits alone. A widow I guess, like me. I take off my petticoat and help Abigail untie her straw bonnet. The wooden benches are hard and make my bottom go limp.
After thanking the Lord for our food and shelter, Abigail taps my knee and asks, “Why do the men get to have so much space on the benches while we children and women are all cramped?” I look over to the right side where all the men sit. They have plenty of room. I look back at the women and children who are so close to one another that if one person got cholera, we would all have it by the end of church. I don’t know how to respond. Do I tell her that men are thought of as more important than women? I don’t even believe that myself, and I don’t want to get her thinking that. My husband, Clement, always treated me equally. He didn’t believe that women are less equal. Clement was a different man. Instead of lounging around all day with the nobles eating food and talking politics, he would take me with him to see the most extraordinary sites.
It was a chilly November morning in Jamestown but I was fast asleep, ignorant to the coldness. Clement taps my shoulder, which wakes me up. He says, “I’m taking you on an adventure, but you can’t tell anyone. Put on your boots because we are going outside.” I reach down and grab my deer hide boots and slip them on. I slowly get off my bed to make sure it doesn’t creek and follow him outside in my nightgown. When I step outside, sugar is flying everywhere. I open my mouth; it is chilly but slowly, as it sits on my tongue, it starts to lose its coldness. The sugar is flavorless. Clement takes my hand and starts walking; I follow. We near the edge of the fort and we’re soon next to the palisades. He says, “squeeze through the two palisades that are broken.” Of course I normally wouldn’t. It’s preposterous to leave the fort without a reason, especially if you are a woman. But Clement could get anyone to do anything, which at the time I loved. I squeeze through the two palisades as fast as I can and then see that my nightgown is ruined, covered in dirt from the wood. Clement then appears and I instantly forget about it. We run across the powdered forest. I soon see homes but they were unlike ours. Made out of straw instead of wood. I see a man who looks different than the English men. He is wearing a deer skin coat, which falls to his knees. He looks at Clement and nods his head. He rushes us into one of the straw homes and inside is a baby deer whose leg is missing. There are a couple of women who are bandaging the deer. “It’s a doe,” Clement says. I look at the baby. It’s eyes blank and heart crying. The men in Jamestown would have already killed it, but these people are saving it. Clement whispers to me, “I found the doe outside the fort with a musket ball in her leg. I knew that no one in Jamestown would care for this baby, so I brought it here. Everyone deserves a chance – deer or human, man or woman.” I look at Clement who is watching the deer. His eyes alert and empathetic.
“Mom, you haven’t answered my question,” Abigail says to me.
“You can go sit with the men, everyone is equal, man or woman.” Human or deer I think to myself, as Abigail gets up and slowly walks toward the men’s bench not knowing what is about to happen.