Nervousness Reframed

Hello! It is Beckett again, and today, I’m going to be recapping everything about my senior project. The ups. The downs. The questions, answers, and all of the in-between.

So here it goes!

When I started my senior project, I was very nervous. “Nervous” might actually be underplaying how I was feeling. Not only was I anxious about how I might be perceived as a teacher’s assistant, but I was also nervous about reliving that middle school experience. In all honesty, middle school was a rough time for me. So, being there in middle school, I aspired to be the mentor that little me would have wanted in those trying years.

On my first day of work, amidst the beautiful chaos of the sixth-grade classroom, I knew immediately I would be fine. Here, I came to learn so much about my students and, in turn, myself. Teaching the areas of various polygons, plotting points on a coordinate plane, and joking about Italian brain rot, I had the pleasure of reinventing my middle school story into one of belonging, growth, and joy. It was more than “fine.” It felt like home.

As I’m going into college next year, I look forward to carrying forward this passion for education. I’m not sure what capacity I’ll be teaching, but I know that I’ll always carry that love and passion for joint learning forward, always.

I don’t know if teaching will ever stop making me “nervous,” but “nervousness” holds a different, positive connotation now.

I am so excited and nervous about everything to come.

First Encounter With Collaboration

I have spent the past week songwriting and building my repertoire of songs for my album. At the beginning of the week hit my green light. I sat in bed and wrote an entire song in under 10 minutes. Everything flowed. The words and melodies came out of my mouth faster than ever before. I became overwhelmed with pride. I recorded a rough demo on my phone and felt the emotions through the screen. That moment reminded me of why I love doing this. That breakthrough moment felt like a burst of color in the sometimes dull world of songwriting. My red light came when I hit a wall with songwriting. Writer’s block filled my mind and kept me tongue-tied. This writer’s block stuck with me for a few days, preventing me from writing even a sentence. I spiraled into self-doubt and creative loathing. I was questioning everything. It was just writer’s block, it felt more personal. It felt as if the Universe was trying to tell me something. I took to journaling to write, even if it wasn’t song lyrics, it still gave me hope. My yellow light moment took place at the studio. I came in to work on a new song I wrote that day. The song didn’t feel right, maybe it was too personal to share, or too broad to be personal. When I sang the song for my producer, he loved it. We decided the chorus didn’t fit, however, so we took to the drawing board to draft a new one. I had never co-written before and hated the idea of someone else writing my songs. We spent around an hour writing a chorus for this song. Listening back to the song, it feels like it’s impersonating me. It’s not my emotions nor my raw words, but it was a collaboration and that, I loved.

Introduction to the Creative Process

My essential question is: How can I challenge my limiting beliefs in the creative process? I will answer that question by releasing music that I have been working on for months. I will write songs alone and bring them to the studio, where I work with a producer to co-produce my songs. I will spend around a week writing 6 songs and the remaining 5 weeks producing the songs using Logic, a software program. I will then do the final vocals on the songs in the studio. Once the songs are produced, I will have musicians play the instrumentals live on the tracks in replacement of computerized instruments. Once the songs are fully finished, I will have them mixed and mastered by a professional. While this is all being done, I will be working on an album title and cover art. Towards the end of the senior project, I will release the album through software. Music is my passion and always has been. I have been singing and writing songs since I was 5, performing private concerts for my family and friends in the comfort of my home. Music is the driving force behind everything I do. I find music in all the frequencies of life, in every road I walk. The project will challenge me to put out music that I have had for years now. I’ve been making original music for 5 years and this project will challenge me to get over my perfectionism and fears. This project will require me to work at the studio every day instead of weekly. Success is feeling free after releasing my music, rather than stress. Success is releasing my original music that I have been afraid of people hearing for years.

Wonder By Raguel J. Palacio

The book I read was Wonder. It was written by Raquel J. Palacio. This book is kind of in a series because there are special chapters that the author made to show the other characters that are mentioned in the book. The main characters are: August, Jack Will and Julian. This book is about how August has been homeschooled his whole life and when he finally goes to school he has such a hard time. He has a hard time because of his facial deformity. Like how Julian says have you been a fire or something. But when Julian says it Jack Will steps in and tells Julian to shut up. And that’s when August made his first friend. One day August walked in and saw Jack Will and Julian looking for August because he was supposed to where a Boba Fett but came in as bloody scream. So August listened to there conversation and heard Jack Will say that I look like Darth Sidious (Julian’s costume). So he told him something like I don’t want to be friends anymore. (Couple days later) After some months they did make up. After that Julian started to put notes in our during the locker because Jack Will punched him in the face. But Julian did get suspended for two weeks. During those weeks they went on a nature retreat and on that nature retreat the seventh graders started a fight and then amos came in and wrecked them and they ran. When they went back to school August was popular. And Julian was super suspicious. And Julian was really unpopular. In the end August was awarded the award of being brave and stuff like that.

I believe August is brave, smart and sensitive. I believe August is brave because he went to school and put up with all of that teasing (even when he wasn’t in school he was teased). I believe August is smart because when he came into the school tour he wanted to join the science elective which is the hardest class in the whole school. August is sensitive because when Jack, Will, and Julian were talking August heard them and got really upset. He was upset because August heard that Jack Will said that August looked exactly like Julian’s mask, which was Darth Sidious a.k.a Emperor Palpatine. I believe that Jack Will is caring, ingenious and two faced. Jack Will is caring because when August came to the tour and Julian said something really mean Jack Will stood up to him. Jack Will is ingenious because the things he does just makes him seem really original like how he was kind of popular and caring because some people let popularity get to their head. Like how Julian did and started to be really mean. Jack Will is two faced because he is good friends with August but he was talking to Julian about something really mean about August. I believe Julian is short tempered, untrustworthy and popular. Julian is short tempered because after him and Jack Will had their “beef” soon after he started to do these really mean post it’s and putting them in their lockers. He is untrustworthy because he and Jack used to be best friends but then he stabbed him in the back and got punched in the face because of it. Julian is very popular because the second he made “plague” everyone believed him. There is only one rule do not touch August or you have the plague.

The most important part of the book in my opinion was in the end of the book when August won the award of being brave and things like that. This was important because August has some serious facial issues which made it more important, that August won the award it.The second most interesting part of the book in my opinion was when the seventh graders were bullying August and Amos and Miles stepped in and started a fight with the 7th graders.This is important for two reasons. One reason is this shows that even with a kid like August involved who grosses everyone out, there are still allies. The other reason is that people can change because Amos and Miles used to be in Julian’s group and now they are with August. Another interesting part of the book is how Charlotte only ever pays attention to August when the teachers teachers are around, otherwise she only nods hello. Jack Will is nice to him automatically but Julian I think we all know how he is to August. This is interesting to me because they were both asked to be August’s welcome buddy but only Jack Will was nice to him other than summer were nice to him. An important quote from the book was the first paragraph. The paragraph is, “I know I’m not an ordinary ten-year-old kid. I mean, sure, I do ordinary things. I eat ice cream. I ride my bike. I play ball. I have an Xbox. Stuff like that makes me ordinary. I guess. And I feel ordinary. Inside. But I know ordinary kids don’t make other ordinary kids run away screaming in playgrounds. I know ordinary kids don’t get stared at wherever they go.” This is an important paragraph because it really shows what August feels and who he is. It shows that August is pretty normal but people are judging him by his cover not the inside.

I enjoyed this book very much. I enjoyed this book because it  has many different ways you can think about the book. Like which side are you on, Julian or August. Another reason is because it has a very interesting backstory and a even more interesting story line like how everything changes when August came into the school. Another reason is that this kind of continues the talk about bullying and allies. I would recommend this book. I would recommend this book to people who lies the kind of books with things happening on every page, not to readers who like take things in slowly. This book reminds me of nothing because nothing really has this book’s same story line, well nothing has the same story line of this book. What I’m trying to say is that this book really sticks out to me and many of other people have read this book and liked it to. Now for the one to five rating. One = I didn’t like it that much. Two = I didn’t like it. Three = It was pretty good. Four = I really liked. Five = I loved it. I want to read it again. And I would rate this book five.

Wish By Barbara O’Conner

The book I read is called Wish by Barbara O’Connor. Wish is about this girl named Charlie Reese, her Friend Howard, and Wishbone the dog. Charlie is sent to live with a family she does not know that well. When she goes to school she missed 11:11 to make her wish and she wonders, “will I ever make a wish here at a new school?” She is assigned a homework helper/buddy. This buddy, Howard the weird guy in the class, happens to be her new neighbor. At first she hates having a homework buddy and wants to get rid of him. But then when she gets home she spots a stray dog and there at that very moment she knew she was going to catch that stray dog. When she tries to catch him he just ran away from her. The next day she finds out Howard is also trying to catch that dog. Charlie already found the perfect name wishbone. Charlie chose wishbone because she thinks maybe the dog can give good luck and maybe a wish charm. But Howard thinks that is a stupid name. They have to work together to catch that dog.

Charlie is tough, likes dogs, and isn’t a very good student. Charlie is tough because she loves fighting and she doesn’t care about a lot of stuff. I know Charlie likes dogs because she wants to catch a dog and she thinks they are good for wishes. I know Charlie is not a very good student because she said, “I never really had good grades”,. I also know she’s not a very good student because she acts rude to the teachers and kids and doesn’t really care about school.

One part I thought that was interesting was when Charlie said, “I don’t need a homework helper” because later in the book Howard and Charlie become pretty good friends. I thought when Wishbone came to the house Charlie was staying in because without him coming to the house she wouldn’t try to catch him and she wouldn’t become pretty good friends with Howard and the whole book is about them trying to catch him. Another part i thought was important is when the teacher announces that Howard was going to be Charlie’s buddy because if she didn’t then they wouldn’t have known each other very well. A quote from the book is “none”. This quote was a line that Charlie wrote on the paper, it said describe your family. She decided to write “none” I decided to choose this quote because it shows you a little about who Charlie is. It shows you a bit how Charlie is by saying that you now know she is rude and tough and personally does not like her family.

I did not enjoy this book because I thought it was boring and I don’t like Charlie’s personality. I think Charlie is rude and doesn’t care about a lot of things and thinks shes so cool. I would not personally recommend this book just because I thought it was boring.I also don’t love Charlie’s personality because it’s a little rude and mean. This book does not remind me of any movie, t.v show, or book. I personally don’t think it’s unique either though.because I would rate this book one and a half stars because I did not enjoy this book and I couldn’t get into the book.

    

Flush By Carl Hiaasen

 

 

 

This book is about a boy named Noah who is trying to catch whoever is putting gallons of raw sewage into the waters of Florida Keys. In addition to this very hard task Noah’s dad is behind bars. His dad refuses to go to court and get his way out of jail.

 

Noah is a caring, adventurous and hardworking.  He likes to solve mysteries and he cares for his family. He worries about his mom a lot and so does his sister. Noah’s  little sister name is Abby. Noah likes to think of her as an older sibling mostly because Abby has a big mouth and she is not afraid to use it.  Abby and Noah are a nice team.

 

Out of one to ten I rate this book a eight. It is not a book that is a page turner but there is still a lot of things going on. I recommend this book to people who like realistic fiction. Go read this book!

 

 

 

 

H20 by Virginia Bergin

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It starts up when Ruby the main character is at a party. They turned on the radio and they heard that the rain is killer if you touch it you die. But it doesn’t affect animals. Then Casper ran out into the rain, after he came in he started throwing up. Zach’s mom took Ruby and Casper to the hospital but she dropped of Ruby first at her house. Her step dad, mom, baby brother were still all ok, but then her mom hugged her and the next day she died with the baby brother. There were people rioting everywhere for supplies. Ruby was in solitary for a while because the step dad didn’t know if she had the rain disease or not so she was in the closet until her mom died.

Ruby is a spoiled 15 year old. She craves her phone while people are getting killed. And you’ll find a quarter of the book about her complaining about her makeup. She is British person and she is not an apocalypse survivor.

They were stuck in the house for a while because there were people that had guns and they would get killed immediately so they didn’t go out for a while. You would think. After time had fixed that Ruby and her step dad went to the supermarket. They couldn’t find anything but plants. Ruby took some flowers for her dead mom and dead baby brother. Then the step dad noticed something he noticed that the plants have water and he thought that they hadn’t been changed in a while so he took the muggy water and drank so much. They were stuck in there for a while. There were still people outside wanting to get in. Finally it all calmed down, they went out and looted some houses but they didn’t find anything. But other than that no one was there.

On the next errand Ruby found some animals that she took home. After that Ruby was stuck in the house for a long time. But then she ran out of water, so she went out and found a nerd from her school in a house. They had some water and a little girl who didn’t talk. The nerd’s name was Darius Spratt and she didn’t really know him but she recognized him. He said that there was people trapped into the school. She went there and found a bunch of men. There was a key and she let them go. She wanted to go to London to find her real dad. She didn’t have a licence yet but she wanted to drive the car to London. The good thing is that it’s only a two hour drive but they get sidetracked a lot so it’s a lot longer than you think, so yeah. Will she get to london and see her dad or will she die from the rain? Find out in the book H20!

I do think i’ll recommend this book because it’s young adult. So I don’t think your parents will let you read this unless your parents are like mine so yeah. I think I would rate this book from 1-5 stars 5 for me but probably not you. But yeah if you’re ready for people dying and alcohol read it!

The Next Woeful Adventure For The Baudelaire’s

 

Oh the woe and misery of the Baudelaire’s won’t stop now and probably never will, at least with the dastardly Count Olaf and his troupe on the loose, still at large. Lemony Snicket is the writer of the woeful series of the Baudelaire’s. The book that my book review will be about is The Carnivorous Carnival, which I am devastated to say is full of all sorts of nefarious and cruel things. There are three weary, melancholy (and many other woeful words that I do not want to describe their luck as) Baudelaire’s. Violet Baudelaire who can invent or fix almost anything put in front of her or even way away from her. She is smart and acts like a mother towards Sunny. She is also the oldest Baudelaire at the age of 14. Violet has a ribbon in her pocket that she carries around with her everywhere. When Violet is thinking hard she ties her hair up with that ribbon.

 

Klaus Baudelaire is the second oldest Baudelaire at the age of 12. “Even though Klaus is only twelve, he had read more books than most people do in their whole life.” This is a quote from one of the previous books. Klaus will polish his “Harry Potter like” glasses when he is thinking hard. I compared Klaus’s glasses to Harry Potter’s because a lot of people have read that series. Klaus is by far the smartest in all different categories and has proven his knowledge by helping solve all of Count Olaf’s treacherous schemes.

 

Then there is Sunny Baudelaire, the last Baudelaire. Sunny was born right before the phantasmagorical fire burned down the Baudelaire mansion. Sunny is very small for her age, not much bigger than a loaf of bread. Being so small Sunny is probably the most overwhelmed by the bloodcurdling schemes of Count Olaf. Although Sunny is small, she makes up for her size with the size of her teeth. Sunny has razor sharp teeth, they are like two daggers in her mouth that have saved the Baudelaires many times. My favorite quote in the whole series is in the first book and it is about Sunny Baudelaire. “Even though the Baudelaires didn’t like their stay with the Poe’s, they were grateful for what they had. Violet tucked the covers in, Klaus put the books in stacks, and Sunny bit two teeth marks in Mr. Poe’s children’s shoes so she would not be forgotten.” The setting of this book is that there is a carnival in a desert in the Hinterlands on Rarely Ridden Road in an unpopular carnivorous carnival.

 

The Baudelaires always find a way to work around Count Olaf’s malicious schemes. The only sparks of good luck that The Baudelaires have is that: Violet’s inventions always work. Klaus always finds the right answers in his research. And Sunny’s teeth always come in handy. This time one of the most interesting things in the Carnivorous Carnival is that for the first time, the Baudelaires are the ones who disguise themselves. Violet and Klaus disguise themselves as a two headed freak to go in the freaks show. Sunny is disguised as a wolf baby. The attraction is that the two headed freak will eat sloppily and have people laugh at them. And Chabo (the wolf baby) will attack the audience while the acquisitive villains watch in delight.

 

One day Count Olaf and Madam Lulu (the leader of the carnival and a fraud fortune teller that is actually good but doesn’t want Olaf to know) go up to the Mortmain mountains to find out the real answer of the secret of V.F.D. Coming back with no evidence of the headquarters of V.F.D. they do bring back lions from the mountains that haven’t eaten in two days and are whipped by Olaf to do his bidding. Olaf and his troupe work all night to make a horrible pit which the lions will go in. In the morning when it is ready Olaf releases his dastardly scheme. “In the morning every day I will have one of the five freaks dive into the pit and perish for the amusement of the crowd. The audience will love it because it is sloppy eating and violence!” With the luck of the Baudelaires you can kind of tell who would be pick first to plunge into the pit first.

 

The only problem was that Esme Squalor threatened all of the freaks to throw Madam Lulu into the pit instead of jumping in themselves. It turns out that Esme wants Madam Lulu dead so she can have her boyfriend (Count Olaf) to herself. So there the Baudelaires were on the edge of the pit, about to jump into the pit. They didn’t want to throw Madam Lulu into the pit because Lulu was going to take the Baudelaires to the Mortmain Mountains to find the true meaning of V.F.D.

 

I enjoyed this book very much, actually I enjoyed all of the books in the series of A Series of Unfortunate Events. When I think of these books I think of some of the Roald Dahl’s tragedies like James And The Giant Peach. James was orphaned by a horrible tragedy that killed his parents and was sent with unsuitable guardians. I loved this book 5 STARS but there are thirteen books in this series that I don’t think that I would want to read it again so 4 STARS would be my final rating.

Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins

 

Gregor the Overlander is about a boy and his little sister who fall through a grate in their laundry room. They land in a strange world full of giant spiders, mice, bats, cockroaches, rats and more. Gregor’s dad is missing. It turns out he’s been trapped in the Underland for the past two and a half years. There is a prophecy, the Prophecy of Gray, that includes Gregor. Gregor teams up with a group of humans, their bats,  two cockroaches, two spiders, and one other very important creature from the Underland to find his dad and rescue him. This book is the first in a series called The Underland Chronicles by Suzanne Collins.

 

Gregor is pathetic, bored, and scared. He becomes awesome in the second book. In the first book, the best characters are Rip Red, Luxa, Ares, and Boots. Luxa is brave, annoying, and stubborn. Luxa is stubborn when she is mad at Gregor, even when he is not upset with her. Luxa is brave when she fights the rats. She is annoying all the time; she’s a queen and overuses that responsibility on Gregor and always tells him what to do. As the books go on, there are more common characters who you learn more about.

 

My favorite part was probably at the very very end (warning: spoilers) when Gregor and Ares bond. This is significant because Gregor gets his own bat. Ares has a sad back story. Also Now that I have read the whole series it’s also kind of sad because I know sad stuff is coming. (spoilers over). Another favorite part is when Boots and Temp the cockroach meet. That is very funny and throughout the series Boots and Temp serve as comic relief. It’s funny because it’s a 2-year-old and a giant cockroach having a conversation and the 2-year-old isn’t even scared.

 

As the books go on you learn just how many prophecies Gregor is in. If you love the first book, be warned the other books are gorier. If you don’t like gory stuff don’t read them. This is a very fast paced book. The first two chapters are kind of slow. Like Harry Potter, it takes a while to get into the action but once Gregor falls into the grate it’s like snap snap snap and he’s on an amazing quest. Some important things happen before that so you need to read those two chapters (some very funny stuff happens like when his Grandma calls him “Simon”). those books where there are tons of characters and also it’s kind of a mystery with the prophecies – they need to find them and unravel them. This series is sad, happy, and violent. If you know how Suzanne Collins writes, if you read the Hunger Games, you will see this is much better. I rate this book on a ten star scale 100 stars.

Warriors

My book is Warriors. The author of my book is Erin Hunter.

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The main character of my book is Rusty. Rusty is a cat but not an ordinary one. He has yellow and orange stripes. Meaning he is a tiger cat, a tiger cat is actually just a cat that looks in a way like a tiger. He has a lot to talk about and a lot to think about.

One night Rusty was just taking his nightly nap. Rusty has been having this one dream where he goes to the forest just across his owners fence and tries to catch a mouse but every time it runs away. Rusty’s owners give him the duelist worst tasting and ugliest cat food ever. He can’t even taste it, but it is the best he has so of course he eats it.

One night Rusty just happened to go outside and when his owners called him to come sit on the bed and cuddle with them. He ignored them and stayed outside and “talked” to Smudge. Smudge is a White and Black cat with a big attitude. He says that another cat went into the woods but Rusty denied it.

If I would give this book blog a rating it would be a 4 because it was ok I would prefer more exciting books.