Dear Rifdah,

I am Shabanu, a Muslim girl from Pakistan. I am a nomad and I just watched your documentary on the Koran by Heart! You were amazing! Your voice was beautiful and you don’t even speak Arabic! I wish I could do something as amazing as that, but I am set to get married to my cousin Murad next year. At least he’s handsome!! I first saw him a couple days ago and he has broad shoulders and a deep set square jaw. He has perfect hands! They’re as wide as a camel’s foot! And he has kind eyes, they are serious too, but mostly kind!

I live in the desert with my beautiful sister Phulan, Mama, grumpy Auntie, my two annoying little cousins and Dadi. Dadi is the one who has chosen for me to marry Murad. My sister was supposed to marry his brother Hamir, but Hamir died from a gunshot and we are still in mourning. I am not sure that Phulan will ever be the same again, her silky black hair is now in a mess and her perfect face has gone pale.

You’re lucky you have lots of people in your country, I am stuck traveling with just 6. There are more people in my country of course, there are actually 201,995,540 people in my country but I am stuck with just 6 of them. And you can imagine how sick of them you could get if you rarely saw anyone but them. But 392,960 people in a country is still a lot of people, and you actually get to see them, they’re not just a number to you! I bet you don’t get sick of them often.

I heard that your father wants you to be a housewife instead of a scientist which is what you want to do. I would like to know what it would be like to be educated, especially in math in science! But, our goal in the desert is to have many babies, preferably boys, because girls cannot provide. That is why one of my goals in life is to have babies with Murad and provide for my family that I will start to build next year when the wedding has ended. My sister says I am strange because I help Dadi with the camels and all the “men’s work” but we do not have any brothers and Phulan is much too pretty to have to stand out in the sweating sun caring for smelly camels! Mama says that Phulan and I are better than seven sons but I’m not so sure I believe her when she says that. Sometimes she gets this sad look on her face and looks pained, like she’s thinking really hard. I hate to think that by being born a girl I have burdened this family even more by not being a breadwinner, and that is why I will act like a boy as much as I can as long as I can. Of course, that behavior must stop when I am married because I am to be the perfect wife, quiet, timid, able to bear sons and able to cook, sew and care for children. Do you know how to cook, sew and care for children? I do mostly, but I am still learning!

I am worried for my family, my sister is no longer betrothed to anyone, Mama and Dadi will soon grow old like grandfather, Auntie is always grumpy and isn’t in a state to help out right now, yesterday, she lost her son while he was still in her stomach. I will not be married for another year and it is impossible to keep track of Auntie’s two little boys.

Now that I have told you all about my life, I would like to know a little about yours. I have always wanted to go to Cairo but I am almost certain I will never get the chance to. But… what is it like? Is it beautiful? Is it crowded? Is it perfect? Will you ever go back? Do you want to go back? Does your father want to you to go back ever? Can you teach me the Koran? It sounds so beautiful! I wish I could meet you in person but I am sure you have more important things to do, like studying the Koran even more, so I will leave you alone.

Sincerely,

   Shabanu