Step number 1

Try to mind your own business

“She disapproves of  Sharma, who left her husband because he beet her.” I don’t feel bad for her. I mean my husband doesn’t care enough about me he’s always working! He goes off and only comes to see me a few times a year to brings me back pots.

Step number 2

Smile.

“Auntie smiled for the first time in two days.” In my defense I was waiting for the right moment. And also you don’t know how long the smile lasted!

Step number 3

Try to be be nice!

“I worry, you’ll spend your life savings on two dowries and two weddings. Without a son, who will bring a dowery for you? And who will take care of you when you’re old?”

“Mama and Dadi are happy!” Shabanu says sticking out her chin. “What do you know?” I said this knowing I was talking to a small girl who did not completely understand the situation.