Knight Monologue

The king is before me. I am in a grand room. Will I die? I do not want to be killed on crusade or in battle. What is my fate? My armor is heavy. I can feel the sweat running freely down my back. I am excited, happy, anxious, nervous, and regretting my life decisions. Hopefully I won’t die. I feel the sword, and the king has tapped me with it. I feel the sweat more where he touches me. I do not want to go on Crusade. Crusade is going out and conquering places where God is not worshipped. I highly regret all my life choices. It is my first time holding my sword, as a knight. It’s terrible to be me. My family was all knights, making me a knight automatically. I hate being a knight. I want to say stop, to stop the ceremony, but I don’t, because that would be disrespectful. Why? I feel like I am signing my death warrant. Hello, heaven or hell.

“Rise, sir knight,” says the king.

The ceremony is over. I am a knight. A bloody knight. I don’t have the heart to kill.

I am scared about Crusade. I am scared I will take mercy and not kill everyone. Especially on innocents. Why do I have to be a knight? “God, please take mercy on me and don’t send me on Crusade.” I pray. I realize I am still on my knees after he said “rise, sir knight.” How embarrassing. I rise to my feet feeling bad for myself. Then everyone starts cheering. I force a smile onto my face. I try to hide my feelings. I feel like why am I even doing this?