“She’s jealous because she’s old and fat.” Page 88

Dear Journal,

I just want to say, life is hard. And somehow no matter what I do, It just gets worse every day. Even my family doesn’t know my name, I’m just Auntie. I haven’t seen my husband is months and he’s coming tomorrow. He’ll bring me jewels, but all he will see is this pudgy woman who spends her life sewing someone’s wedding dress. I’m getting old and forgetting all that I have learned. I don’t care for the wedding, but yet I spend every day slaving away for the perfect dress. No one cares what I say or think about, Shabanu runs free. One day she will understand that that doesn’t work. I tried, and here I am trying to hide from my own husband. The only thing I can do is sew a wedding dress, so it is going to be the best wedding dress anyone has ever seen. The dress has beautiful embroideries, that would look perfect on me. I didn’t even have a proper wedding, I was just married and then I wait and wait for presents once in a while. Phulan is lucky, she will have a dream wedding. Everyone will think she’s beautiful in this dress. Without the dress, her wedding would be nothing just like mine. I’m tempted to keep it, and she will have to be married in her nicest dress, which is nothing compared to this yellow silk. A wedding without the dress, how horrible that would be. It wouldn’t be hard to keep this dress, my family knows not to take things from me. So I will! Phulan’s wedding will be exactly like mine. She’ll end up like me, slaving away for her niece’s dress. She’ll be fat, waiting for her husband’s gifts. “Can I have the dress?” Shabanu’s Mother asks. “Okay,” I say. I forget her plans. She is going to give the dress to Phulan! My plan is ruined and I frown at Phulan. She’s going to have a perfect wedding, a perfect husband, and she’ll have the most rights a woman could get! How horrible, if only I kept the dress.