Returning home after a month was bittersweet. I missed the food and the environment of Italy more than anything, but I also missed my family and New York, and the liveliness that makes the city so special. The remaining time in Italy was spent in art lessons, trying to restore as much of the painting as we possibly could, but also learning how to restore antique lamps, which follow the same plastering steps as the painting, but got to use gold foil which was a cool and challenging experience. I also reached the point with my paintings that I was confident enough to take them to school, where I’m going to continue to work with James on them. Unfortunately soon after I got home there is an incident involving my cat, her glass of water, and the watercolor pieces I had completed while in Orvieto. Before I had gone on this trip, this would have pushed myself over the edge. I would have been so upset with my cat and myself, and do anything possible to undo what had been done, even though there’s nothing I could have done. But after being on this trip and learning more about the importance of not always being careful with my art ( I do think James meant metaphorically not literally)  I was able to realize that all of these watercolors were things done quickly,  as a warm-up exercise. I wasn’t trying to reach perfection, and I shouldn’t treat it like a masterpiece and I’ll make new watercolors. When I think about where this project started, I realize I went into this I had not fully thought through how much more this project was going to become about, and how much it was going to move Beyond just the painting.  I had to adjust the expectations that I had set for myself when it came to how much work I could realistically get done and had to decide whether I would rather have 2 mostly completed pieces, or 3 nowhere near close to being completed pieces, and I went with 2. As I wrote about more in my second blog post, I had to spend a lot of time changing my mindset so that I was more comfortable making mistakes in my art and being confident in my painting knowing that it is not going to be perfect can refine it later. I’m proud of myself for the work that I did on the paintings, the restoration work I was able to do, the photos I took and can use in my presentation, and the watercolors, even if no one will ever see them. All of the challenges I was expecting going in, were so much more challenging than I ever thought they were going to be. Living independently is something that I am looking forward to, but now I know I will miss having my parents around as well. I took a risk going to Italy to be alone and it paid off immensely. I feel like I have a deeper understanding of who I am, and what I need to function as a person, which I think is good to know before I leave for College. I am so much more capable of dealing with issues, conflict, and emotions than I had ever realized before this trip. I now know that I am a fairly capable adult who can handle quite a bit of responsibility and independence. With my art, I felt like I was taking a risk every time I put that paintbrush on the board. I worked so hard to be less precious with it as well, but I am still just anxious about making mistakes, even though they’re unavoidable. I still have so many questions about painting and technique that I want to ask my teacher in Italy,  but I know I would never run out of those.  I’ve asked myself a lot of questions since coming home. I’ve spent hours thinking about what I would have done differently on the strip, but also trying to write down all of the lessons I’ve learned while away. I’ve challenged myself to think about the ways in which I failed on this trip, or ways that I didn’t meet my own expectations for myself, which is never fun to think about.  parts of me wish I had done something political or socially active for my senior project, but I know that those are areas that I want to pursue in college, and my brothers always told me to do something that I won’t study in college, so I’m really grateful that they told me that and I was able to do art for this project because that’s an opportunity I’m never going to have again, The fact that I got to do it in Italy just gives me more inspiration as to studying abroad in the future. The hardest part about this experience oh, honestly was pushing myself to continue to stay on top of my work. I’m sure anyone will tell you how easy it is to do nothing, and there were days when I woke up in Italy and just wanted to walk around all day, and the last thing I wanted to do was sit there and paint for 4 hours, but I realized the way around that.  This was the most rewarding part. How I was able to incorporate the other things I wanted to do into my project. I was able to fill my schedule with more than just paint. I went to the museums and landmarks and got to eat some of the best food I’ve ever eaten in my life. The entire experience was something I will remember forever and always be so grateful for. I learned about the importance of independence and structure and got to live a life I could only dream of living forever.