You are one week into the Senior Project Experience. How is your project matching up to your expectations or dreams? 

 

At first, I was overcome with doubt and anxiety because I thought my expectations were much higher than they should be, that they were unrealistic, and I considered that I might even want to change the project entirely. Creating an entire collection of clothing in only six weeks when I’m only a beginner was starting to seem crazy. After attending the sewing seminar through LREI and doing work on my own, such as making mood board collages and drawing out my designs, I see that I feel more clear and confident about my vision, and I’m actually excited to embark on this journey. My dream is big, which at times may seem unrealistic, but that’s why a dream is a dream so that you push yourself to do unimaginable things.  

 

What did you expect coming into the project? 

 

Coming into the project, I was really daunted by what the next nine weeks had in store. Although I had some experience in sewing and garment construction, the things I wanted to achieve were completely above my skill level. I expected these aspects of a garment making to be impossible. Despite this, I expected a lot of myself from this project, and I expected this project to be perfect. This caused a lot of inner conflicts because while I expected a lot from this project, it all seemed unrealistic because I thought everything I wanted to do was too complicated and required me to have a higher skill level.

 

What have you discovered? 

 

I’ve discovered that the only way I’m going to be able to move forward with this project, and any creative project at all, is if I let myself experiment with my creativity, and drop all expectations of myself and my work so that I can just let it be. I’ve also discovered what I want my project to be in the end. Before beginning this project, my ideas for all the clothes I wanted to make were floating around in my head, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to decide what I wanted to make, how I wanted to make them, or if I even had the skill to make them. After drawing out my designs loosely and experimentally, I’ve gauged more of a concrete idea of what I want my collection to look like, and the message I want to convey through my clothing. 

 

How have your experiences of the past week affected your expectations going forward? 

 

My experiences this week have taught me that I can’t go into this project expecting it to be easy, I’m going to be really challenged. I need to have the strength to do what I can even if it scares me, and the wisdom to know when I need to back away and look at the problem from another angle. I’m going to have to dive into the deep end and try things I’ve never done before. Now my expectations have lowered in some places, but risen in others. I expect a little less of myself now because I’ve recognized that I’m only a beginner in garment making and I have limited time, so I’ve accepted that my project can’t be grand in the way I initially thought, but it will still be grand if I accomplish what I need to accomplish. On the other hand, the expectations I have of myself have risen, as I now expect myself to work harder and challenge myself, and put in the effort and time it requires to learn all I need to learn, and fufill my dreams. My vision was clouded with fears, doubts, and anxieties about myself as a creative and my work, but now I can see my vision, and I can see the finished product clearly.