I started this project with what I thought was a clear and do-able goal: to create a book breaking down urban spaces across the city. I thought this would mean simply being in the city, walking around, sketching things, and coming to relations about what makes cities vibrant. But, in this first week and a half, I have found that there is nothing clear about any of what I see.

On my walks I felt almost tormented: I was looking at masses of public spaces, and I had some idea about how they were functioning, but there weren’t any stunning revelations, no huge “ah-ha” moments. All the streets seemed to have millions of factors influencing their vibrance and an indiscernible cacophony of usages and design elements. Trying to sum these things up felt overwhelming. How was I supposed to make a definitive guide when it felt as though I would never be able to fully comprehend any of what I was seeing?

Yet, while searching for spaces to analyze, I had a few interesting experiences. One of the most eye-opening walks I had was through the Gowanus, where I meandered for a few hours. While I was in the neighborhood I was expecting to see complete desolation and a lack of human activity, which I did observe to a certain extent. But I also saw small growths of community and vibrance. There were metal shops that seemed full of life and usage, fledgling art studios, and apartments that were unique and interesting in a way that couldn’t exist in a busy city center. Yet, seeing this beauty and interest brought more concern than comfort. Most of Gowanus was devoid of human activity, a desert of life and connection. Under the guiding principles of my project (and my personal beliefs about cities) a city’s ideal state is defined by continuous and healthy human activity and connection. That is what makes cities as wonderful as they are. Yet, to fill the Gowanus with shops and housing, while it would promote vibrance, would kill these unique pockets of life and interest. The question is, how do I fit fascinating questions and important issues like this into my art-based project? How can I represent this space’s uniqueness through art?

Between these excursions, I returned home and drew what I had seen. It was in these moments that I felt clarity and joy — I felt like I was learning and creating. As I began to experiment with illustration and pen-drawing, I felt more inspired than I had when I started the project. But I still wasn’t sure what direction to go in, as when I started to break down what I had been studying things again fell apart; I felt overwhelmed by the need to have some sort of expertise, and by the unimaginable complexity and imperfection of the spaces I had been looking at.

In the days before I wrote this, I had conversations with James (the studio art teacher) and the lead designers at Koko architects. These conversations went in many directions and inspired me in countless ways, and as I reflected on them and the work I had done so far I came to the realization that I needed to modify my project.

I settled on the idea that I would do research and create illustrations from my perspective, making my project about how I  interpreted the spaces I was visiting. This answered my issues with the pressure of having to perfectly represent the spaces I was in, as I could just represent what I was seeing and understanding. But it also put my project on far more solid footing, as it means I won’t be making any undue assumptions or peddling myself as some sort of expert.

This paired well with the simultaneous realization and guidance I had about the art in my project. I had been finding so much joy in drawing the things I was seeing, yet it sometimes felt as though this drawing wasn’t providing any extra learning or insight. The architects at Koko noticed this when I showed them my sketchbook and suggested that I rely more on interpretation and diagrams (such as sections and illustrative drawings). This paired well with the ideas I’d been talking to James about: he has been guiding me to draw inspiration from comic books, encouraging me to utilize their language to truly illustrate the effects I was researching. Over the next weeks, I hope to combine this guidance and realization to illustrate what I see in more interesting and experimental ways, going beyond simply capturing snapshots.