I am . . .

Dear Families,

This week, students in sixth grade adolescent issues classes began reading the book Jarvis Clutch Social Spy in which

the fictitious eighth-grader Jarvis Clutch offers insight and advice on the middle school social scene. Jarvis’s spy notes provide a bird’s eye view of the often challenging social experiences that middle school students encounter. The cornerstone of the book is the concept of social cognition, or your skills and ability in interacting with others. Through this lens of this concept, students examine the social challenges they face daily at school and at home (EPSBooks.com).

At the beginning of our reading, students did a reflection activity in which they explored personal strengths and challenges related to navigating the social dynamics of adolescence. Through this activity, we identified a set of challenges and students were surprised to realize that many of their concerns were also shared by their peers. Here the list we generated of social skills on which sixth graders want to work:

  • Not dominating or needing to be the boss
  • Having the image of myself that I want to have
  • Expressing my feelings accurately
  • Not being shy
  • Feeling better about the way I look
  • Watching my actions
  • Not reacting too strongly
  • Self-monitoring myself better
  • Being able to call a friend
  • Calling someone I don’t know well
  • Not talking for too long
  • Having a boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Having other kids respect me
  • Not talking so loud
  • Having a best friend
  • Being friends with more people
  • Being accepted by more groups

In fifth grade Adolescent Issues classes, we’ve been exploring the theme of “appearances” and how they play a role in the judgments that we often make about others. We explored how these appearances that are often reflected in clothing, physical appearance, mannerisms and ethnic, racial and religious indicators can result in impressions that prevent us from seeing the what we might share in common with another individual. We used a public service announcement produced after 9/11 to explore the power of these first impressions. Students watched the video without sound and recorded positive and negative impressions based only on what they were seeing. These impressions (e.g., “friendly,” “weird,” trustworthy,” “scary,” etc.) were then shared without attribution to the individual in the video. Students indicated that they would be more likely to want to be friends with the individuals they rated more positively. We discussed why this might be the case and then watched the video again this time with sound. The addition of the sound caused many student to reconsider their first impressions. This led to some interesting conversation about appearances, first impressions and the problems of passing judgment. We’ll return to these ideas in future classes.

In both fifth and sixth grade classes, we also discussed the additional difficulties that students can face when their social experiences are negatively impacted not by particular social skills on which they can work to improve, but on core values or essential aspects of how they identify as individuals. When this happens, the role that a friend or classmate can play is of vital importance. These are instances where an individual who makes the choice to be an ally to a classmate in need can have a profound and lasting positive effect on the individual experiencing the difficulty and on the larger community. I end this week, with some thoughts from our Director of Diversity and Community Sandra “Chap” Chapman on “Ally Week,” which also took place this week:

Dear LREI Community,

Last year a small group of fifth and sixth grade students filled out a brief questionnaire about their perception of their peer’s feelings about LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people. They discovered that they AND their peers had positive and accepting views of LGBT people in their family and community. Joining these students were countless LREI faculty, administrators, and fours through twelfth graders wearing labels that read “I am a Good Friend,” “I am an Ally,” or “See Something, Say Something,” all in an effort to raise awareness of standing up for others and practicing our role as allies.

What exactly is an Ally? I find the work of the Reverend Andrea Ayvazian, ordained pastor in the United Church of Christ and anti-racism educator since 1985, answers this question.

An ally is a member of a dominant group in our society who works to dismantle any form of oppression from which she or he receives the benefit. Allied behavior means taking personal responsibility for the changes we know are needed in our society, and so often ignore or leave to others to deal with. Allied behavior is intentional, overt, consistent activity that challenges prevailing patterns of oppression, makes privileges that are so often invisible visible, and facilitates the empowerment of persons targeted by oppression.
— The Rev. Dr. Andrea Ayvazian from Interrupting the Cycle of Oppression: The Role of Allies as Agents of Chang in From Fellowship, January-February 1995, pp, 7-10

This week marked the fourth year of GLSEN’s Ally Week. It was started by members of the Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Education Network’s Jump-Start National Student Leadership Team to celebrate allies committed to ensuring safe and effective schools for all and to encourage students to take action. During this past week, various people at LREI engaged in conversations with students about the importance of being a good friend, classmate, and citizen. The curriculum is rich with opportunities to raise awareness of unfairness and bias in our history as well as in today’s society, and then to discuss and develop strategies to support victims of any form of bias. This week, and every week, I invite you all to take a seat at the Ally table and continue these discussions with your children at home.

Thanks Chap. And I hope that your conversations at home find their way back to our LREI table as well.

Be well,
Mark

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