This is a writing piece that I wrote for the Thanksgiving Assembly (but unfortunately didn’t get to read at the assembly). I am proud of this piece because I feel that when I revised it, I could really picture the setting and my nine year old self being annoyed because the flame didn’t go out. The first large piece of writing is the first draft and the second one is the revised one.
I really like your piece! I was already pretty good before but the revisions made it a lot better!
I love this piece. You explain everything so well I can almost taste the cupcakes. I love how you describe the kitchen and the spices. I think that this a very successful piece and that you descriptive goal was accomplished.