Why I Need To Write Better

I need to write way better. None of my pieces have been really good. I feel like all of my pieces can be a lot better. I think if I were to write some more on a different piece, something that I feel more into from the beginning, I’ll end up with a way better piece. I think that if I use show don’t tell some more, my post will be a lot better. I think that I could really do a lot more with the piece that is later in the post. I don’t know what, but I think the idea is good.

For Example, here is one of my unfinished pieces:

My name is Retman. I’m a three month old ant. I’m part of the massive ant hole called Visofgar. I live with my family, I have a Mom, Dad and a brother, Hullinger, he’s six months old. My Mom is one and three months old, and my Dad is one and four months old. The main thing that my species has been in a struggle with is humans. I mean, just last week, my friend Bews was going to the playground and never came back. Never! They can’t just be stepping on us and killing us. But, luckily for me, I have a special feature that no one else has. I’m invincible. No one can stop me, not even those nasty humans with those big feet of theirs. Seriously, if you look on the bottom of one of those shoes, you’ll see half of my family.

My mom doesn’t believe me when I tell her that I am invincible. But she doesn’t know. She doesn’t know how I know that I’m invisible. I was walking to the balloon store with my friend Regrel. And there was this guy who came to us and he stepped right on top of us. Regrel died, but I survived it without anything happening to me. I was right there, under his foot. I felt the shadow but I was completely fine.

 

There is a big rumbling above our hole and when I poke my head out, I see thousands upon thousands of feet and legs. And when I look up, I see a foot coming down on top of me. I duck but I’m too late. The human stepped on me, I could feel the shadow again. When you feel a shadow, it feels really tingly and it gets dark out of nowhere.

 

 

Who The Heck Are You? (While In Progress)

Right now in Humanities we are working on a project called Who the Heck Are You? It is a project that is based off of an interview. When we were selecting our interviewees, I picked 5 people that I wanted to interview. I decided on Doug because I don’t know that much about him and I wanted to learn more about him. We then came up with possible questions to ask our person. Our questions had to have follow-up questions to the real ones. We couldn’t have concrete questions as the original questions because then we wouldn’t get good enough answers. We could have them as follow ups though. We could do that so then we could move on to the next question. The whole interview had to have a theme like childhood or fantasy world. I think that this will be a really fun project and that I will be able to learn a lot of cool things from Who The Heck Are You?

Hajj Map

My hajj map was a reallly fun piece of work to complete. It was really cool because I could really show so much about myself in a piece of schoolwork. I think that I could’ve been more gracious with my use of materials. I think that the blue marker for the water could be a little neater, but all in all, it was really fun/interesting/cool/awesome.

Beowulf Annotations

We annotated books with:

-A chapter summary after each chapter

-Circling vocab words

-Underlining important parts

 

It is important to annotate so that you can catch all of the details that you need to go over again.

 

I am proud of my ability to annotate books now.

I want to improve on my description in annotating.

Fact To Faction Responses

The Great Tidal Wave of ‘08

By Harvey Van Blerkom

We are sitting in a room, all with our fantasy football books in hand, thinking about our next pick. All of a sudden a huge burst of water comes surrounding our bunk, it’s at least 4 ft. high. We are all scared to death. We thought that we would have a bigger chance of surviving by huddling together in the center of the room because we are the farthest from the wall. The center of the room happened to be my bed, there were 12 kids on my bed, that bed was smaller than a twin bed. It was like a 3 rhinos on a bed. We are all freaked out, we were looking all around the camp but it was all covered in water. Our counselors came in and were acting almost the same as us. They were all really freaked out. We were so scared we were still as a pile of rocks. Then, my friend Alex Goldbottom has an idea, (Alex is not very bright) he walks out of the bunk and starts to swim in all of the water, he starts flowing with the current like he’s in a lazy river, he then starts floating over to the lake. At this point, we are all on the porch of the bunk watching Alex float. We start yelling but the rain and water splashing around is too loud for him to hear. He is floating farther and farther from the bunk. He’s relaxing and waving, while we are all yelling at him to start swimming back to the bunk. He’s floating and floating, it’s as if he thinks that we are going to join him in the water. He keeps on floating along, and next thing he knows he’s in the middle of the lake. He is trying to swim back to the bunk but the current is too strong. He is struggling so hard to keep himself afloat, when the water suddenly comes out below him, a giant purple fish jumps out of the water. It jumps at least 20 feet in the air and goes back in the water. At this point Alex is really freaked out. We tell our counselors to come outside and try to get help but they don’t believe that what we saw actually happened. Then the purple fish jumps out of the water again the loud splash makes one of my counselors finally come out. But, by that point Alex was gone. In that jump, the fish took him and that was the end of Alex Goldbottom. The next day, the water died down and his family and friends from home come to camp to have a funeral for him. It was a very sad day for the whole camp especially for us because we were his bunkmates and good friends. When we got back to the bunk Jake. One of the 12 remaining campers in the bunk has an idea. The idea involves getting into the kitchen to get a really big knife, 12 sets of scuba diving equipment. That’s all he would tell us to do for now. He had a plan and he said that it was impossible to fail. That night, we went to the kitchen as a bunk. We were trying to find a way into the kitchen. That was when we heard the giant splash. We went running to the waterfront only to see a big purple tail. We all gasped. We were as determined as ever to find that knife. There was no way that we were going to ever going to let our friend die and not try to find out the mystery of his death.

 

This is my fact to fiction writing piece. It was really fun and interesting to write. It was also really challenging to write because at one point while writing it, I got stuck on how to keep the story interesting. I am really proud of myself for persevering through those challenges that I faced.