Why I Need To Write Better

I need to write way better. None of my pieces have been really good. I feel like all of my pieces can be a lot better. I think if I were to write some more on a different piece, something that I feel more into from the beginning, I’ll end up with a way better piece. I think that if I use show don’t tell some more, my post will be a lot better. I think that I could really do a lot more with the piece that is later in the post. I don’t know what, but I think the idea is good.

For Example, here is one of my unfinished pieces:

My name is Retman. I’m a three month old ant. I’m part of the massive ant hole called Visofgar. I live with my family, I have a Mom, Dad and a brother, Hullinger, he’s six months old. My Mom is one and three months old, and my Dad is one and four months old. The main thing that my species has been in a struggle with is humans. I mean, just last week, my friend Bews was going to the playground and never came back. Never! They can’t just be stepping on us and killing us. But, luckily for me, I have a special feature that no one else has. I’m invincible. No one can stop me, not even those nasty humans with those big feet of theirs. Seriously, if you look on the bottom of one of those shoes, you’ll see half of my family.

My mom doesn’t believe me when I tell her that I am invincible. But she doesn’t know. She doesn’t know how I know that I’m invisible. I was walking to the balloon store with my friend Regrel. And there was this guy who came to us and he stepped right on top of us. Regrel died, but I survived it without anything happening to me. I was right there, under his foot. I felt the shadow but I was completely fine.

 

There is a big rumbling above our hole and when I poke my head out, I see thousands upon thousands of feet and legs. And when I look up, I see a foot coming down on top of me. I duck but I’m too late. The human stepped on me, I could feel the shadow again. When you feel a shadow, it feels really tingly and it gets dark out of nowhere.